Topic: A poem I wrote in science class, instead of doin science. (Read 1113 times)

schrocko88 · « **on:** October 29, 2011, 10:15:56 pm »

I use my real eyes, to realize
the real lies, that are told
but not heard.
I am a shepherd, you are my herd.
I am a shepherd, you are my flock.
Though I lead not with a stick,
but with a glock.
And when my time comes on the clock,
I will rise, not because I want.
But because I must.
Until my bones turn to dust,
I place in you,
my trust.
That when Your time comes,
on the clock.
You will rise not because you want.
But because You must.
Until Your bones are dust.
You will fight.
You will use all your might.
Until the day,
gives way,
To night.

Please let me know how I did. Keep in mind, I'm only 14.

Ehndras · « **Reply #1 on:** October 29, 2011, 11:01:28 pm »

I like it, man. I flows very well

schrocko88 · « **Reply #2 on:** October 29, 2011, 11:14:34 pm »

Thanks. I'm working on more. I'll put them up when i finish them.

Bdthemag · « **Reply #3 on:** October 29, 2011, 11:16:08 pm »

I agree, wish I could write poetry decently. Keep up the good work!

Hubris Incalculable · « **Reply #4 on:** October 29, 2011, 11:27:44 pm »

I like the use of homonyms in the first few lines. Very well done.

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Author Topic: A poem I wrote in science class, instead of doin science. (Read 1113 times)

schrocko88

A poem I wrote in science class, instead of doin science.

Ehndras

Re: A poem I wrote in science class, instead of doin science.

schrocko88

Re: A poem I wrote in science class, instead of doin science.

Bdthemag

Re: A poem I wrote in science class, instead of doin science.

Hubris Incalculable

Re: A poem I wrote in science class, instead of doin science.