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Author Topic: Trying some IRL dwarfishness...for !!SCIENCE!!  (Read 1303 times)

Seraphim342

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Trying some IRL dwarfishness...for !!SCIENCE!!
« on: October 19, 2011, 02:19:47 am »

So I was reading one of the many "You know you play too much DF when..." threads, and saw a post to the effect of "you think you can make wine from mushrooms."

Due to my Scottish heritage and therefore nigh-on religious belief that you can make booze from ANYTHING, this comment offended me and I have set to prove it wrong.  My first batch of mushroom wine is currently brewing.  Updates and, if it doesn't kill me, recipes to follow. 
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I like to think that on the other side of the world a human is walking on the beach, notices the water level suddenly drop twenty feet, and whispers "fucking dwarves."

"The cows seem to lose bowel control when launched... I consider this a feature."

King DZA

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Re: Trying some IRL dwarfishness...for !!SCIENCE!!
« Reply #1 on: October 19, 2011, 02:22:49 am »

Don't forget a nice side of two-humped camel cheese to go with it.

Seraphim342

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Re: Trying some IRL dwarfishness...for !!SCIENCE!!
« Reply #2 on: October 19, 2011, 02:48:45 am »

Camel cheese is disgusting.  So is their meat.  That's my theory why the Middle East is so messed up.  They need good food.
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I like to think that on the other side of the world a human is walking on the beach, notices the water level suddenly drop twenty feet, and whispers "fucking dwarves."

"The cows seem to lose bowel control when launched... I consider this a feature."

King DZA

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Re: Trying some IRL dwarfishness...for !!SCIENCE!!
« Reply #3 on: October 19, 2011, 03:17:04 am »

Hey, you're the one brewing mushroom wine. Not exactly high-ranking on the list of tastiest things in the world either.

Shook

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Re: Trying some IRL dwarfishness...for !!SCIENCE!!
« Reply #4 on: October 19, 2011, 06:51:33 am »

So maybe this is why dorfs almost always have a scottish accent. :P
Hope the wine turns out well, and that you didn't use death caps for it. That shit'll fuck your kidneys up big time. Then again, their name is kind of saying, isn't it? I think they'd be awesome in DF though, provided that proper poison gets implemented.
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FearfulJesuit

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Re: Trying some IRL dwarfishness...for !!SCIENCE!!
« Reply #5 on: October 19, 2011, 08:23:18 am »

There's an idea for a mod: plump helmets having a 0.01% chance of being poison when you ingest them. Almost all of the time you can get away with it, but every so often, the dwarf in question has a drink of dwarven wine, and comes a cropper.
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@Footjob, you can microwave most grains I've tried pretty easily through the microwave, even if they aren't packaged for it.

Seraphim342

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Re: Trying some IRL dwarfishness...for !!SCIENCE!!
« Reply #6 on: October 19, 2011, 11:54:10 am »

Using portabellos bought at wal-mart, so hopefully it won't kill me or make me trip balls. Though if the latter, an alcoholic magic mushroom beverage would probably hit the dorms of liberal arts colleges like a WMD....

Did some actual research after I set it brewing and apparently people already do this, and it surprisingly comes out looking and tasting similar to standard white wine.  Experimentation continues... conclusive results in about a week and a half.
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I like to think that on the other side of the world a human is walking on the beach, notices the water level suddenly drop twenty feet, and whispers "fucking dwarves."

"The cows seem to lose bowel control when launched... I consider this a feature."

zehive

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Re: Trying some IRL dwarfishness...for !!SCIENCE!!
« Reply #7 on: October 19, 2011, 06:38:43 pm »

Camel cheese is disgusting.  So is their meat.  That's my theory why the Middle East is so messed up.  They need good food.
Have you eaten Halal food? It's fantastic. ☼Shish Tawa☼

RenoFox

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Re: Trying some IRL dwarfishness...for !!SCIENCE!!
« Reply #8 on: October 19, 2011, 08:57:52 pm »

Camel cheese is disgusting.  So is their meat.  That's my theory why the Middle East is so messed up.  They need good food.

You're obviously talking about one humped camel cheese. Now TWO humped camel cheese...

Seraphim342

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Re: Trying some IRL dwarfishness...for !!SCIENCE!!
« Reply #9 on: October 19, 2011, 09:30:34 pm »

Halal food is nice, I particularly enjoy Falafel.  I also like lamb quite a bit.  But in some of the poorer countries like Djibouti and Somalia... you're eating camel half the time, lol. We got sold camel meat in Ghana on this ship I was on a few years back, was an experience I'd rather not repeat. Only time I've ever seen a Filipino cook completely at a loss on how to make something taste good.  These are guys who make "spongebob squarefish" sandwiches taste amazing.  It was scary. 

I do, however, think mushroom wine should be enjoyed with two-humped camel cheese (purring maggots being unavailable unless some Chilean miners manage to breach a cavern level) and roast kitten for maximum dwarfiness, though I'm pretty sure the latter is illegal in New York.  Gotta find a loophole there. Maybe if the kitten is "accidentally" run over by a car or crushed in a cave-in it would be legal to butcher it with a harvester's license?  Put too much thought into that one, I think... don't tell PETA.

The first batch does indeed look surprisingly clear and golden.  Whipped up a second batch with the mushrooms pureed instead of chopped and brown sugar instead of cane, looks a lot darker, like a muscatal. I find that color more appropriate.  Gonna name it  "Mushcatal Especiale." We'll see which tastes better... if either =p
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I like to think that on the other side of the world a human is walking on the beach, notices the water level suddenly drop twenty feet, and whispers "fucking dwarves."

"The cows seem to lose bowel control when launched... I consider this a feature."

Epithemius

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Re: Trying some IRL dwarfishness...for !!SCIENCE!!
« Reply #10 on: October 19, 2011, 09:48:06 pm »

Posting to follow. Also, here's the American Poison Control Hotline:
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
I advise you add this to speed-dial  8)
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Imp

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Re: Trying some IRL dwarfishness...for !!SCIENCE!!
« Reply #11 on: October 19, 2011, 10:02:54 pm »

I'm betting he lives (though it's wise indeed to have emergency contact info all over the place anyway, who knows when someone will need it!)

He's not the first to make mushroom wine in this reality though - here's a few recipes for those interested (along with a few descriptions of the product - and one undwarvish fellow who thought so much of his recipe he went and tried to patent it!  ... and if you're Korean you probably have known about mushroom wines most of your life)  None the less, it's a really cool idea!  I hope you enjoy your experiment 8)

http://www.winemakingtalk.com/forum/showthread.php?t=7943

http://www.freepatentsonline.com/7244456.html

http://duramecho.com/Food/NoveltyWines.html

http://elwood5566.net/2011/02/21/would-you-believe-it-mushroom-wine/

http://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php/Number/15197326
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Seraphim342

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Re: Trying some IRL dwarfishness...for !!SCIENCE!!
« Reply #12 on: October 19, 2011, 11:44:18 pm »

Been making wine for a while now, done everything from standard grape to strawberry, even dandelion.  Figured I'd try mushrooms as a challenge =p 
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I like to think that on the other side of the world a human is walking on the beach, notices the water level suddenly drop twenty feet, and whispers "fucking dwarves."

"The cows seem to lose bowel control when launched... I consider this a feature."