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[Sir Broccoli]

Yeah, Black & White is great fun.
And so is Skyrim.
And so is Bastion.
And so is AI war.
And so is Baldur's gate.
Also I had a couple of programming assignments and exams that I had to do/learn for so I really shouldn't be playing all these games.

But have no fear! I will buckle down tomorrow and have a post up, scout's honor!

[zomara0292]

Yah, I remember my days (upon days[upon days{upon days<upon days(upon. . . . . .etc.)>}]) of playing Black and White. I wasted a good half of my high school years.
I guess I can forgive if thats the reason.

[Shinotsa]

Yah, I remember my days (upon days[upon days{upon days<upon days(upon. . . . . .etc.)>}]) of playing Black and White. I wasted a good half of my high school years.
I guess I can forgive if thats the reason.

You can't forget yelling at dragons. I've spent the past few days yelling at dragons and mauling mooks as a werewolf. Skyrim is great fun, but I'd still vote morrowind/dwarf fortress over it.

[Sir Broccoli]

Entry 4

"An altar? Seems reasonable." Spaghetti and Shino were pitching their idea to me. "Should there be anything special about it?"

"It shall be build from solid gold!"

"In the bowels of the earth!"

"In room at least three Urists high!"

"And the walls should be engraved with- wait, what's that?"

A crowd had gathered in front of the mason's workshops. They were all pushing and shouting to get in front.

"All right! What's going on here?!" They were far too busy with shouting to pay any attention to me. I grabbed a hammer and jumped into the crowd.
As I fought my way to the front line I managed to hear a couple of snippets of conversation:

"This one kind of looks like a donkey!"

"This one's metal bars!"

"Yeah, we figured that one out already. We're working on the one with all the squares."

I finally emerged from the front lines. "Alright, will someone please tell me what- Oh."

And there was Goldenblocks. Sitting in the fetal position and rocking back and forth.

"Crap. He went fey, didn't he?"

"Secretive, actually." Takoa handed me a stack of charcoal drawings. "He scribbled these and then he just started crying in the corner, poor thing."

I looked at the first drawing. "Well, that's metal bars. Tell someone to smelt some gold and-"

"He already grabbed some iron."

"Pity, he'd have liked the gold. This next one is-"

"A donkey!" Takoa seemed extremely proud of his discovery.

"-cut gems, actually. Goldenblocks is not an incredebly good artist but I'd recognize gems anywhere. We've got some rough rubies lying around, somebody cut them." One of the dwarves in the crowd waddled off. "Next up is rocks. Last time I checked we still live in a cave so that shouldn't be a problem. Last but not least is... Leather? I think?"

"We tried leather but that's not it. We think it's cloth, but none of that plant fiber stuff."

"Shit, do we have any sheep? Llama's, maybe?"

"Nope. Maybe we should try shearing a dog. Fur's fur. Right?"

"Let's try our luck with cave spider silk, first. It was time for us to breach the caverns anyway. Uthrist's been bugging me about only getting ores from caverns so it's a two-kobolds-with-one-stone situation." I gave Goldenblocks a firm prod with the handle of my hammer. He didn't respond. "Keep me posted on everything he does."

---

Something shook me awake. It was a deep rumbling from deep inside the earth.

"Is this another ghost? I got a doctor's note saying I'm excempt from ghostly activities, so scram!"

Another rumble, this time accompanied by a large splash. I heard the sounds of feet rushing towards my room as I got out of bed. I opened the door and saw the pale face of one of our miners.

"Tryrar? Ye gods, you look like you've seen a ghost!"

"SHRIMP!"

There are some things you're just not prepared for. One of those things is a crazy miner shouting the word 'shrimp'. Another one of those things is a shrimp.



Look at that thing. I mean, really look at it:



Ugh, disgusting. Anyway, this really messes up the cavern exploration plan so I'm afraid it's back to the drawing board.

[Hitty40]

"Bah, a giant shrimp? C'mon, gimme something better to rip a head off!"

[Sir Broccoli]

"Bah, a giant shrimp? C'mon, gimme something better to rip a head off!"

You're REALLY going to regret saying that.

[Sir Broccoli]

Entry 5

Alright, I've got good news and bad news. The bad news is that we've run out of coal, our best mason is crying in a corner, there's a giant shrimp in the dungeons, we don't have enough bedrooms, our people are being scared by Grimelings, we don't have enough gold or manpower to fullfill mandates, the dining room floods every now and again and people are crazy enough to request caged goblins in their rooms.

The good news is that we haven't run out of booze yet, which makes things slightly more bearable.

Mega-shrimp is still stomping around in our caverns, thank Armok we breached the caverns through the ceiling rather than through the walls. We can just sit on our fat asses over here and he won't be able to reach us, ever. I still want to take care of the situation and to this end I have thrown together a squad of marksdwarves. Mero (the hunter whose bolt was stolen by a kobold earlier) volunteered to train and lead this squad. Seeing as he's the most skilled marksdwarf in the fort I have allowed him to do this. The miners are digging out an archery range as we speak.

---

The caravan arrived today, and they brought cloth! Hallelujah! I also requested the Mountainhomes send us every single bit of gold that they can spare.

Goldenblocks took a bit of alpaca wool and started working, he later presented to me the prettiest damn floodgate I have ever seen:



Goldenblocks was already a mason of legendary skill, but with this amazing contribution to masonry around the world I don't think 'legendary' is the right word anymore. That's why I invented 'smoorp'; a new word to describe dwarves who are incredibly awesome at their job. Goldenblocks doesn't seem to be all that happy about becoming a smoorp mason, he still grumbles about wanting to work with gold. I thought about this and have agreed that he can perform some goldsmithing jobs, provided that he'll smelt the gold himself and that he won't skip out on his duties as a mason. I have ordered the excavation of a special room dedicated to the smelting and smithing of gold.

The marksdwarves (or "Executioners", as Mero calls them) have been training hard so that they might defeat the Forgotten Beast that roams our caverns, they are not that well trained yet (they're less 'disciplined, well-oiled machines of war' and more 'a bunch of fat, hairy men sitting around and sharing the three crossbows that were made for the ten of them') but they have requested that they be allowed to try and kill the super-shrimp. Seeing as they can stay out of reach of the beast I have allowed them free passage to the caverns.

---

There was a knock on the door of my office. Or at least there would've been a knock if my office had a door. Maybe I should do something about that.

Alright, so there was no knock. It was just Mero barging into my office as I wrote "Make more doors" on my checklist. Mero managed to pull off a nice salute.

"Mero Cilobdesis, Executioner reporting on the situation of Iklist Disuthostuk, Mega-shrimp. Sir!"

"Yes, Mero. I know who you are and what orders I gave you."

I don't think he even realized I was talking. "I am delighted to report that the attack on Iklist went off without any casualties or injuries on our side."

"So you killed the beast?"

"Nossir!"

"Oh, well. Did you at least manage to injure it?"

"Nossir! We missed every single shot."

"So we're pretty much in the exact same situation as we were before?"

"Well, not exactly sir. You see-"



"-and also we're down some bolts. Sir."

"So let me get this straight. I send you guys out to kill a forgotten beast, and when you return to me a second forgotten beast has appeared?"

"Yessir."

"You're aware that this is the exact OPPOSITE of what I sent you out to do, right?"

"Yessir. We would like to request that the Executioners can take another shot at it (no pun intended, sir) seeing as there are now two ginormous beasts which, according to dwarven mathematics, should be twice as easy to hit."

"And according to dwarven Murphy's law a third beast will appear as soon as you attempt the attack."

"Please, what are the odds of a third beast appearing?"

I sighed. "I guess you're right. Go attack the creatures, Armok knows you need the target practise. Besides, what's the worst thing that could hap-"



Son of a bitch!

[Sir Broccoli]

Alright, I just got Skyward Sword, Desert Bus for hope is starting and I still have to finish the Dark Brotherhood questline so if I disappear for ten days again you know who to blame.

[GreatWyrmGold]

Deadly dust? Crap. Variscite? Crap. (I think that that's a mineral.) Well, we've got our work cut out for  us, neh?

[peregarrett]

Mandate - Capture all beasts in a rooms with bait animal and raising bridge!

[KenboCalrissian]

I'd like to be dorf'd as Kenbo!  Put me down as a woodcutter.  Also, if you've got sand, I have a mandate that should be pretty challenging for you...

I'd like a crypt made entirely out of clear glass.  Glass walls, glass floors, glass roof.  Glass armor stand, glass weapon rack, glass statues... and, of course, a clear glass sarcophagus.  When I die and am placed in my grave, I want you to fill the crypt with water, take a hole out of the roof directly over my sarcophagus, and build a well over it in a common area.  Make sure the floor surrounding the well is also clear glass so dwarves can look down from the well and thank my decomposing corpse for their drink.

Kthxbai!

[zomara0292]

Mandate - Capture all beasts in a rooms with bait animal and raising bridge!

I mandate his mandate, but, only with the shrimp (for a test run) and one wall be made of a small two layered (one fortification one wall) with an entry way into the wall so that my men may turn it into a pin cushion and maybe even tonights dinner of doom.

[GreatWyrmGold]

I mandate that if the dust-beast is captured, that it is never more than a tile from a containing cage. Jesus Christ, some of these ideas are scary! How could Goldenblocks make awesome gold furniture if he's dead?

[neo1096]

This looks fun. Could I get in?
Name: Neo
Mandate: I want to lead my own military squad. Of dwarves equipped with exotic weapons from our enemies!

[cyancanine402]

Dorfing please?

Name: Casu Marzu
Profession: cheesemaker, brewer, cook, etc. Anything culinary.
Backstory/personality: Created by replacing the almost non-existent forebrain of a dwarf with several *mechanisms*, Casu's only desire is to cook. He knows that he is, in fact, the awesomest cook ever. He will darn well make people eat his food if they don't want it. After all, it's for their own good. Unfortunately for those around him, he's terrible at cooking. Which is why his own creators sent him away. Far away. As far away as possible. Cheerful and good-natured, his only goal in life is to get you to eat his food.
Mandate: his own personal kitchen with a small accompanying food stockpile. Of course, the food will have to be the rarest possible and the kitchen should be made of something expensive.