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[nymall]

Well, I have something that I need some reviews of... I've been working on an epic, and it's almost done. On the request of some of my friends, I did a reading, and I need critique! On request, I can post some of it here(as far as I've read, no spoilers! ).

There are some reading errors, but that was more due to inedpirience in reading than anything.

Constructive Criticism welcomed and encouraged!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LhLOdNgzOaM&feature=youtu.be

[The Fool]

The reading:
Your timing is good in places, but you might want to take your time when going from section to section. While it is a dark poem, you don't need to keep your voice low. You should raise your voice a bit when describing a character's anger. I'm mainly talking about the moment at 2:25, 'whose head I should rend' could use a bit more volume. The axemen's speech also needs more anger. In this case raise your voice as if your as if you were giving the speech yourself.

The poem itself:
I wouldn't mind a text version somewhere. It's hard to criticize a poem without seeing it. Otherwise I would have to listen to it several more times to get a feel for it. The only glaring problem I have with it is the word doofus. It sounds very out of place. From what I hear though it's a pretty good story.