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Author Topic: Best fantasy in history  (Read 967 times)

genveir

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Best fantasy in history
« on: May 22, 2011, 10:08:46 am »

I just have to say that Toady's latest post on the dev log is the best piece of high fantasy in the history of man.

"In the midwinter of 73, Teme the Law-Giver led one hundred humans and 33 townie elves against an assault by various forest creatures and their wild elven masters. Teme's defense was successful, but he was struck down by a grizzly bear. The humans constructed the Tomb of Planes and interred Teme within, where he lay for 100 years. Then I went in there, took Teme from the coffin and put the body in my backpack. Obviously the defenses will need to be improved."

Excitement, drama, high adventure! What's not to like? :P
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Lordinquisitor

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Re: Best fantasy in history
« Reply #1 on: May 22, 2011, 12:58:15 pm »

Indeed, an epic tale. There`s also a nice suspension in there.. He lay there for 100 years and then what.. Did he rose up from his grave? Was he raised as a minion to some evil necromancer together with his former allies and enemies and was made the leader of an Undead army?

No. A adventurer came in and stuffed his corpse into his backpack.
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metime00

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Re: Best fantasy in history
« Reply #2 on: May 22, 2011, 01:50:03 pm »

Then the adventurer threw the body in a night creature cave while the night hag was sleeping, hauled the loot to the nearest city and lived rich and fat and happy for the rest of his life.

It is quite adventurous though. Like Indiana Jones or something. I look forward to robbing the tombs of every king in the world or maybe swapping out a tomb with a night creature's. Then the royal tomb has bumblebee paste and the night creature lair has a dead king and vast riches!
« Last Edit: May 22, 2011, 01:53:53 pm by metime00 »
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Live long if you can, and prosper by any means necessary.  Any means, Urist.  So pull that lever, or by Armok, I'll lock you outside come next siege.
He who plays with dwarves must take care that he does not become a dwarf.  And when you stare into DwarfFort, Dwarffort stares back into you.

jellsprout

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Re: Best fantasy in history
« Reply #3 on: May 22, 2011, 02:21:35 pm »

Urist McGraverobber has finally found the tomb of the legendary Teme, a monument believed to be filled with the greatest riches. After carefully making his way through the trap-ridden corridors, Urist finally makes it to Teme's final resting place. Masterwork statues, jewelry and weaponry scattered all over the place, enough to allow Urist the life of a king. So what will he take first? The golden idol? The diamond necklace? The steel battle axe? No, Urist takes the corpse and proceeds to roam the world, beating up every Night Creature and Megabeast he finds with Teme as his weapon.

Smells like Dwarf Fortress.
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"Having been equipped with tracking collars so their migration and survival in the wild can be measured, the young Sea Serpent is released into the wild.  It is hoped that this captive breeding program will boost their terribly low population numbers and eventually see them removed from the endangered species list..."

tolkafox

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Re: Best fantasy in history
« Reply #4 on: May 22, 2011, 07:21:58 pm »

Don't forget he left room for a sequel: Why was the adventurer stealing the corpse? Was the backpack magical? What was he going to do with the corpse?

Clearly he was a necromancer, and was going to raise the corpse and overthrow the current king.

Or he was going to throw it at the shopkeeper who ripped him off.
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It was a miracle of rare device, A sunny pleasure-dome with caves of ice!

Vercingetorix

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Re: Best fantasy in history
« Reply #5 on: May 22, 2011, 08:04:23 pm »

I like the thought of him stuffing a century-old corpse of a revered ruler in his backpack...not only effective, but offensive!
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Do you always look at it in ASCII?

You get used to it, I don't even see the ASCII.  All I see is blacksmith, miner, goblin.

BronzeElemental

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Re: Best fantasy in history
« Reply #6 on: May 23, 2011, 06:24:12 am »

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Ultimuh

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Re: Best fantasy in history
« Reply #7 on: May 23, 2011, 06:31:24 am »

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