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Author Topic: Worst. Artifact. Ever.  (Read 1573 times)

Chessrook44

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Worst. Artifact. Ever.
« on: May 09, 2011, 09:07:13 pm »
So, fort just hit ten years of success, and a child gets taken by a mood.  Takes some cloth, wolf bones, and several gems, and makes a wolf bone buckler.  Alright I think, a way to celebrate the ten year anniversary.  Let's see what it looks like...

"Moltenscorns the Incident of Skewers"
"This is a wolf bone buckler.  All craftsdwarfship is of the highest quality."

......................................that's it?
No pictures?  No spikes?  NOTHING?!

WHAT THE FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU- how is that even possible?  He had like, ten items collected!  Where did it all go?

The thing is barely even worth 3400 dorfbucks!  The other 22 artifacts are probably worth more than it!  Seriously, What?
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_DivideByZero_

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Re: Worst. Artifact. Ever.
« Reply #1 on: May 09, 2011, 09:08:05 pm »
What version are you running?
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Have I now become your enemy by telling you the truth? (Gal 4:16)

Zaerosz

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Re: Worst. Artifact. Ever.
« Reply #2 on: May 09, 2011, 09:12:42 pm »
That issue got fixed in .20 or something, didn't it?
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Chessrook44

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Re: Worst. Artifact. Ever.
« Reply #3 on: May 09, 2011, 09:13:06 pm »
Quote from: _DivideByZero_ on May 09, 2011, 09:08:05 pm
What version are you running?
31.18.  Mainly because I started with that one, and didn't want to deal with pastures and such.
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IT 000

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Re: Worst. Artifact. Ever.
« Reply #4 on: May 09, 2011, 09:16:13 pm »
There's a bug back in that version where bone artifacts don't get decorated, it was fixed in .24 (ish)
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Chessrook44

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Re: Worst. Artifact. Ever.
« Reply #5 on: May 09, 2011, 09:17:53 pm »
Quote from: IT 000 on May 09, 2011, 09:16:13 pm
There's a bug back in that version where bone artifacts don't get decorated, it was fixed in .24 (ish)
Well that explains that.

Some way to celebrate ten years of success with as many deaths.  200+ dwarves and a dutchy and still going strong!

Still not a capital though.
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_DivideByZero_

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Re: Worst. Artifact. Ever.
« Reply #6 on: May 09, 2011, 09:20:40 pm »
You can run the save in 31.25, I think. You should back up first but I think for the most part all versions of 31.xx are compatible with saves from older versions of 31.xx.
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Lagslayer

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Re: Worst. Artifact. Ever.
« Reply #7 on: May 09, 2011, 09:56:15 pm »
Artifact shield? Nice. Do dwarves with gauntlets still get burned from flaming objects they are holding? If not, you could maybe catch it on fire using magma and have a permanent !!Shield!! to give to your favorite military dwarf. Or an irritating noble. Just make sure nobody tries to put it in a stockpile.
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Ownmer

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Re: Worst. Artifact. Ever.
« Reply #8 on: May 09, 2011, 10:29:41 pm »
The worst artifact I ever had was a bucket. A 4300 dollar bucket, but just a bucket nonetheless.
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thegoatgod_pan

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Re: Worst. Artifact. Ever.
« Reply #9 on: May 09, 2011, 10:59:07 pm »
Bucket artifacts are made to join a mechanism artifact and an artifact rope into making a well so awesome, your dwarves will can quit drinking booze and still feel ecstatic every time they get a drink of water.
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Quote from: Michaelsoftman on April 01, 2012, 05:32:21 pm
More ridiculous than reindeer?  Where you think you supercool and is you things the girls where I honestly like I is then why are humans on their as my people or what would you?

krenshala

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Re: Worst. Artifact. Ever.
« Reply #10 on: May 09, 2011, 11:47:33 pm »
My worst so far, is a wood picollo ... 9600*, however ...
Quote
Gebartharnas (Laudedslayer)

This is a limestone piccolo.  All craftsdwarfship is of the highest quality.  it is encircled with bands of limestone.  This object menaces with spikes of smoky quartz.
On the item is an image of Medi Cheerfulhomes the human and giant eagles in limestone.  Medi Cheerfulhomes is surrounded by the giant eagles.  The artwork relates to the taming of the giant eagles of The Beloved Tower by the human Medi Cheerfulhomes in the early winter of 164 during The Journey of the human Medi Cheerfulhomes.

Since this topic has arisen in a number of pieces of artwork, and I've seen a giant eagle on my map, I'm guessing I embarked into The Beloved Tower.  ::)

Of course, my other two artifacts in this fort are Anedstelmith Ildesgir (Sporttresses the Wordy Goad) the highwood grate [3600* in value] which might be useful, and Osteshtamol (Messsaviors) a highwood earring [7200* in value], which at least had the decency to include a picture of laboring dwarves that relates to the founding of Keypleated (my fort) in 251.
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Quote from: Haspen
Quote from: phoenixuk
Zepave Dawnhogs the Butterfly of Vales the Marsh Titan ... was taken out by a single novice axedwarf and his pet war kitten. Long Live Domas Etasastesh Adilloram, slayer of the snow butterfly!
Doesn't quite have the ring of heroics to it...
Mother: "...and after the evil snow butterfly was defeated, Domas and his kitten lived happily ever after!"
Kids: "Yaaaay!"

nanomage

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Re: Worst. Artifact. Ever.
« Reply #11 on: May 10, 2011, 06:59:07 am »
Quote from: thegoatgod_pan on May 09, 2011, 10:59:07 pm
Bucket artifacts are made to join a mechanism artifact and an artifact rope into making a well so awesome, your dwarves will can quit drinking booze and still feel ecstatic every time they get a drink of water.
The thing is that such a well would really turn water into booze, like Jesus.
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Ahra

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Re: Worst. Artifact. Ever.
« Reply #12 on: May 10, 2011, 07:23:51 am »
Quote from: nanomage on May 10, 2011, 06:59:07 am
Quote from: thegoatgod_pan on May 09, 2011, 10:59:07 pm
Bucket artifacts are made to join a mechanism artifact and an artifact rope into making a well so awesome, your dwarves will can quit drinking booze and still feel ecstatic every time they get a drink of water.
The thing is that such a well would really turn water into booze, like Jesus.
no it makes it into sunshine
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Quote from: Splint on March 16, 2012, 06:17:45 am
And then the horror hits: This was just spring.
We are SOooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo fucked.
Quite fucked indeed.

Mechatronic

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Re: Worst. Artifact. Ever.
« Reply #13 on: May 10, 2011, 07:27:20 am »
Lead greaves.

Maybe useful if x-rays are implements.
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MasterMorality

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Re: Worst. Artifact. Ever.
« Reply #14 on: May 10, 2011, 09:35:50 am »
Quote from: Mechatronic on May 10, 2011, 07:27:20 am
Lead greaves.

Maybe useful if x-rays are implements.

Haha! Sounds awesome.
Could you imagine trying to walk in them?

*CLUNK!* *CLUNK!* *CLUNK!*
Recruit 1: "Oh, grief, here comes our esteemed general, LeadGreaves again...  Bloody idiot!"
Recruit 2: "Gotta hand it to him, though, I've never seen anything able to pierce them when he manages to stagger onto the battlefield!"
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