1. See a dermatologist. Or at least ask your PCP - Primary Care Physician.
2. You are correct in your assessment that washing too much will just dry/irritate the skin while doing not much of anything positive.
Do not use hand/regular soap for your face or overwash, you'll just strip your face of natural oils and the redness will get
worse.For a normal acne problem, I recommend:
St. Ives apricot scrub. It's dirt cheap (comparable to $50 makeup creams) too and you can buy it in the skincare sections of supermarkets/target/walmart. It has worked wonders for clearing my face. I use the invigorating version twice a day, morning and before bed.
EDIT: Other tips.
EXERCISE - this has tons of positive effects.
Quit drinking soda and anything with high-fructose corn syrup. Avoid chocolate and other oily foods and chemical bullshit they try to pass off as edible. They have all sorts of fucking-up effects on your body.
Drink lots of water. Lots.
Go outside and/or get direct sunlight.
When you shower, use warm water (it opens/loosens skin pores) and gently massage your face and/or run your nails
softly across your skin. If you have oily skin like I do, you'll clear out all sorts of nastiness. Follow this with the facial scrub I recommended.