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Author Topic: Dwarven Rehabilitation  (Read 1881 times)

lanceleoghauni

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  • Purveyor of Ridiculous machinery.
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Re: Dwarven Rehabilitation
« Reply #15 on: May 05, 2011, 04:32:38 pm »
magmatic poultsplosion
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"Mayor, the Nobles are complaining again!"

*Mayor facepalms*

"pull the lever of magmatic happiness"

carabide

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Re: Dwarven Rehabilitation
« Reply #16 on: May 05, 2011, 04:45:53 pm »
Hello everybody, I am Urist McButcher, and i am addicted to chopping kittens to pieces, and sticking them into peoples' food
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Quote from: Necro910 on May 05, 2011, 02:25:42 pm
Diagnosis screen: Inoperable rot in the head.

Urist McPeasantDoctor: WE NEED TO AMPUTATE!

EddyP

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Re: Dwarven Rehabilitation
« Reply #17 on: May 05, 2011, 05:56:38 pm »
Hello, my name is Urist McSiegeOperator. I can't work under stress. When practice firing I'm fine, but as soon as it comes to a live fire situation, I freak out. I make excuses like needing a drink or going to sleep. Anything to get me away from that well-protected ballista battery!
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malimbar04

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Re: Dwarven Rehabilitation
« Reply #18 on: May 05, 2011, 08:30:48 pm »
Hello, my name is Urist mcMetalsmith, and I have a problem. I had this great idea see... and I found a way to make it without the least bit of coal. But... but the manager says we don't have any metal. You hear that? no metal!

*looks around the room panacked*

so... I... *looks down*. I haven't eaten anything in days... and there's no flavor in the alcohol anymore. I can't take it anymore... I'm not long for this world...

*sniffs as a tear rolls down his cheak*

and it was such a great idea... so... glorious... and all I needed was a bar of metal.
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No! No! I will not massacre my children. Instead, I'll make them corpulent on crappy mass-produced quarry bush biscuits and questionably grown mushroom alcohol, and then send them into the military when they turn 12...

ext0l

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Re: Dwarven Rehabilitation
« Reply #19 on: May 05, 2011, 09:28:18 pm »
Hello, my name is Urist McMarksurist. I am very forgetful.  :-[ Last time I did archery practice, I forgot to pick up more bolts when I was done. I didn't remember until I was given the station order. By the time I got to the ammo stockpile, the goblins already passed through the main gate.
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Andal

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Re: Dwarven Rehabilitation
« Reply #20 on: May 05, 2011, 09:49:36 pm »
Hi, my name is Duke McNoble, and I loooooooove coins. Mmmmm. Coins. Coins of all varieties! Sometimes, I mandate coins. Sometimes, I mandate 3 varieties at a time! Sometimes, those beautiful coins excite me so much, that as soon as I have them stashed away in my vault(s), I ask for even more! But it seems lately, the only coins being made are copper. Don't get me wrong... COINS! But I miss the variety... like BRASS coins! I love brass...

Could you please make me some coins? My life is such a meaningless void without them.
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Quote from: Montague on February 16, 2012, 01:29:59 pm
Quote from: Gizogin on February 16, 2012, 01:17:56 pm
When I was reorganizing my inventory to fit all by books on life and death into various bags and things, I looked at my inventory and saw that I was multigrasping a necromancer slab.  It was pretty hilarious.
I think that would be an excellent way to impart the critical lessons of life and death to the ignorant masses.

Ultimuh

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Re: Dwarven Rehabilitation
« Reply #21 on: May 05, 2011, 09:57:47 pm »
Quote from: Andal on May 05, 2011, 09:49:36 pm
Hi, my name is Duke McNoble, and I loooooooove coins. Mmmmm. Coins. Coins of all varieties! Sometimes, I mandate coins. Sometimes, I mandate 3 varieties at a time! Sometimes, those beautiful coins excite me so much, that as soon as I have them stashed away in my vault(s), I ask for even more! But it seems lately, the only coins being made are copper. Don't get me wrong... COINS! But I miss the variety... like BRASS coins! I love brass...

Could you please make me some coins? My life is such a meaningless void without them.

You.. you had to bring up coins didn't you..


Such.. ugly engravings..

*sobs even more*

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Necro910

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Re: Dwarven Rehabilitation
« Reply #22 on: May 05, 2011, 11:44:15 pm »
Me: Hello, my name is Necro, and I like burning things.

Group: Hello Necro...

Random Noble: That is stupid! The only good that can come of that is a floodgate! Come to think of it... I want a floodgate!

Me: Grrr... *puts hand on lever*
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noodle0117

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Re: Dwarven Rehabilitation
« Reply #23 on: May 06, 2011, 02:01:44 am »
Hello, my name is Urist McWarVeteran and I have just recently recovered from the hospital after losing my arm.

I am once again fully equipped with my steel sword and armor, but if only i could somehow pick up that shield so I could get out of the armory and go back to training...
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Angel Of Death

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Re: Dwarven Rehabilitation
« Reply #24 on: May 06, 2011, 06:06:59 am »
Hello! I'm Urist McBerserker...

I just can't stop killing. When I see someone, I want to kill them... Every time I walk up to greet a soldier, they try to slay me. Really, I'm a nice guy. Instead of attacking me, you should compliment me. You'll still die, but you'll die happy.
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99 percent of internet users add useless, pulled out of arse statistics to their sig. If you are the 1%, please, for the love of Armok, don't put any useless shit like this in your sig.
Hidden signature messages are fun!

noodle0117

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Re: Dwarven Rehabilitation
« Reply #25 on: May 06, 2011, 10:02:44 am »
That really suits your name y'know.
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Necro910

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Re: Dwarven Rehabilitation
« Reply #26 on: May 06, 2011, 10:33:08 am »
Quote from: Angel Of Death on May 06, 2011, 06:06:59 am
Hello! I'm Urist McBerserker...

I just can't stop killing. When I see someone, I want to kill them... Every time I walk up to greet a soldier, they try to slay me. Really, I'm a nice guy. Instead of attacking me, you should compliment me. You'll still die, but you'll die happy.
Duke Nukem bites the mason in the lower body!
Duke Nukem shakes the mason by the lower body!

Duke Nukem Kicks the bubblegum in the head, squishing the skull, and shattering the brain!
A tendon has been torn!
Bubblegum has been stuck down!
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