Topic: Lobsterhappiness - Bitter Toil in a Sweet Land (Read 617 times)

Assassinfox · « **on:** February 25, 2011, 02:29:43 am »

Hi, all. This is my first attempt at writing an LP of Dwarf Fortress. I'm hoping to practice my writing skills as well as ~~show off~~ bug test my Candyland mod. Most of my play experience is with 40d, so this fortress will be almost like a new experience for me. ~~My usual habit of dwarf naming is to name them after people I know, so I'm not taking any name auditions at this time, but~~ My fort has more dwarves than I can think of names for, so if you want one named after you, just give me a yell here. Also feel free to shout suggestions for megaprojects or elf genocide at me. I'm also mirroring this story on my blog to try and get my friends into this game, so sorry if something looks like an inside joke.

Embark is in a serene temperate forest with clay, sand, "shallow metal," a brook, and no aquifer.

Without further ado, I give you Lobsterhappiness.

Obsidian 22, 124

Dear Journal,

King Jimyel Enzurokir has granted me permission to start a new settlement and expand the Dwarven lands! I finally have a chance to put my skills to use and start a new life. I've already assembled a party of able dwarves to come start this new settlement with me.

First is Beaucifus, a miner. I was a little suspicious when he started talking about "punching trees," but the Miners Guild insists that he knows what he's doing. Next is Jacokl, a wood cutter and carpenter by trade. He seemed competent, but that may have been because of the flannel cap he was wearing. Then, we have Hannah, an unusually tall dwarf with a multitude of skills related to food. She even offered to pack provisions for our journey! Next is Joedaddy, a hunter. He kept talking about how he wanted to hunt "the most dangerous game." I figured he was talking about the unicorns rumored to frolic through the woods we will be living in, so I agreed to bring him along.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Then there's Loki, a craftsdwarf. She was mildly skilled in many crafts, but the main reason I brought her along was because she knew how to make soap. The elders always talked about what great warriors soap makers are, so I figured she'd be able to protect us in case of trouble. Next, there's Caiest, a miner with an odd hobby in ceramics and an even stranger obsession with bears.

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And last, but not least, there's me. Easily the most talented and useful person in the group thanks to my administrative skills. The seven of us leave tomorrow for the new land. Hopefully, it will be an uneventful journey.

Obsidian 25, 124

It has not been an easy journey. The provisions Hannah provided for us proved to be the most vile and perplexing pile of slop I have ever seen.

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How in blazes does she expect us to derive nourishment from a firefly's brain?! More importantly, how did she even procure one?! At least this demonstrates what a skilled butcher she is. If not for the large supply of bacon, the rest of the group surely would've turned back by now.

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I never imagined that travelling on the surface could be so creepy. Every time I step away from the group to answer the call of nature, I hear disturbing cackling coming from the woods around me. When I tell the rest of the group about this, they insist that there's no such thing as bogeymen and say that I shouldn't be afraid to wander off alone. It's an oddly specific denial. This is definitely a peculiar bunch I've joined forces with.

Assassinfox · « **Reply #1 on:** February 25, 2011, 02:31:14 am »

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Granite 1, 125

Thank heavens! We have arrived at our destination, The Quiescent Jungle. I'm not sure who came up with that name, but they apparently never saw a temperate forest before. The Quiescent Jungle is a lush, fertile land, a landscape of red velvet, dotted with candy canes and gingerbread trees. Because of the clay's deep red color, I have decided to name our settlement Zedotsilix, or Lobsterhappiness.

Our wagon broke down just out of reach of the local brook, The Elder Mysteries, so I had Caiest and Beaucifus walk ahead of us to begin digging while the rest of the group carried the supplies the rest of the way under my careful supervision. Since we had no more use for the pack animals, I ordered Hannah to butcher the horse and camel. That'll teach the humped monstrosity not to spit at me.

We're sleeping in the red velvet batter under the stars tonight, but in a few days, we should be safe in beds.

Felsite 19, 125

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My bedroom is complete! I decided that, as leader of the fort, I should have my own lodgings, so I ordered Jacokl and Caiest to construct a gingerbread cottage for me. The others insist that living above ground is undwarvenly, but I prefer the term "progressive." I'm fond of my new home, but the rest of the group has this infuriating habit of leaving dead animals just outside my cottage. I appreciate that they're keeping the fortress sanitary, but I simply must have a talk with them about this.

In other news, I caught our "hunter," Joedaddy loafing around in our meeting area. When I asked him why he wasn't out hunting, he simply shrugged and said "I'm out of bolts." The nerve! I could've had Loki craft him some more bolts from the bones of our dead camel if he had simply spoken up. Oh, how I hate that lazy dwarf.

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Felsite 26, 125

When I read the reports on The Quiescent Jungle, I was expecting majestic unicorns and whimsical pixies. Instead, the fort appears to be overrun with Fluffy Wamblers. Our two cats have been working overtime just to keep the adorable little monsters out of our food stores and away from Hannah's farm plot. I'm not sure if Fluffy Wamblers even eat dwarven food, but at least the cats are putting a stop to the constant cry of "FEEP! FEEP! FEEP!"

Hematite 15, 125

Hannah's first crop is ready for harvest. Normally, I'd consider this a cause for celebration, but those spice drops came up wrong. Horribly wrong.

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What should've been a delicious, colorful treat was, instead, a hole in the fabric of reality. It's as if the gods forgot a decimal point when they were creating the world. I ordered the farm plot salted, burned, and bricked over so that no one else would have to see this abomination.

Assassinfox · « **Reply #2 on:** March 04, 2011, 11:51:18 pm »

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Malachite 16, 126

Good Armok, have we been here a year already?! Wasn't the Mountainhome supposed to send us a supply caravan by now? Regardless, we received our first wave of migrants today. The group consisted of a blacksmith, a thresher, a glazer, a fisherdwarf, a fishery worker, a fish dissector, a reindeer, and a peachick. Hannah gleefully took to slaughtering the adorably useless animals while I interviewed our new citizens in the public dining room (Can you believe our two architects are too busy digging out bedrooms to build me an office?!). I've included the interviews here for completeness' sake.

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Malachite 25, 126

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It's been over a week since the migrants arrived and our two miners have not lifted a finger to help. They claim they're on break. I think they're on strike. Our new militia commander may have a job to do if this keeps up.

Sandstone 1, 126

More migrants have arrived. Sonofaspoonybard the Stonecrafter and Capndanny, an Armorer and dabbling Swordsdwarf. They also brought a Yak with them for some reason. At least our butcher has something to do again.

Sandstone 8, 126

Praise the miners! We've struck a vein of raw chocolate chips! Milk chocolate makes pathetic weapons and armor, but we should be able to alloy it with the leftover bacon and have something nicer to furnish the dining room with. A dining room can't truly be called legendary if it's full of candy cane furniture.

Timber 7, 126

Lobsterhappiness is truly in the big leagues now. The carpenter and architects have finished building my office, so I can finally get to work on balancing the ledger. Being told that our food stores number between 1 and 100 is not good enough.

Timber 13, 126

Our first caravan from the Mountainhome arrived today. I had a meeting with the Outpost Liaison to request more chocolate and hard candy in the next shipment while the rest of the citizens loaded our goods into the trade depot. At first, all we had to trade with were the macabre totems Loki had crafted out of animal skulls, but Sonofaspoonybard was able to provide us with an absurd amount of halva mugs at the last minute. I hope we will be better prepared for the next caravan. We won't last very long without dark chocolate and mint to outfit our militia with.

Granite 8, 127

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Beaucifus and Caiest have finished constructing a halva wall around the entrance to the outpost. We can truly be considered a fortress now. Our only gateway is guarded by a dog and a cheesecake drawbridge. It isn't the best security, but I'm not expecting too much trouble from the goblin kingdoms.

Slate 19, 127

Perhaps I spoke too soon. I was awoken this morning by one of our lookouts, who spotted a large cloud of dust on the horizon. An entire army is heading straight towards Lobsterhappiness, and our military consists of only Karebear in turkey bone armor, Beaucifus and Caiest with only their chocolate picks, and that useless hunter. I order everyone into lockdown and raise the drawbridge. Those goblins aren't taking our home without a fight!

Slate 20, 127

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

As the horde approached, I saw that it wasn't an army of goblins at all. It was a horde of migrants. 23 dwarves have arrived at our gates looking for a new home. I'm not sure if this is better or worst than facing down a goblin siege. Our alcohol supplies are running dangerously low, and we have nowhere near enough beds for everyone. Caiest and Beaucifus and a few new miners I can't be bothered to learn the names of are working overtime to dig out enough bedrooms for everyone while Jacokl churns out gingerbread and candycane beds like a maddwarf. Once again, Hannah the Butcher takes to slaughtering the animals brought by the migrants, but is stopped by a few of them claiming a baby cavy and a duckling as "family pets." Our few original dwarves are bogged down in numerous chores while the disorderly mob of fresh blood mills about uselessly. It'll take a keen superdwarven mind to get this little hamlet running efficiently, and I'm the dwarf for the job.

Felsite 15, 127

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A caravan of elves from some silly land called "Lapamaiwo" has set up shop at our trade depot. Unlike when the dwarven caravan arrived, we were prepared with crates upon crates of self-cooled cheesecake mugs and grisly turkey skull totems. I ordered all our trade goods brought to the depot, but felt like a fool once I had a look at the goods the elves brought. Most of their goods consisted of crates of red licorice fiber cloth, ice cream, and flimsy wooden weapons and armor. We could've bought their entire caravan three times with the amount of goods we brought to trade. Not that we actually needed most of the worthless rags and trinkets they brought. I've heard tales of elven caravans running an underground slave trade in tigermen, but the only animals these imbeciles brought were a rabid looking raccoon and a half-starved elk. Fortunately, they did bring a healthy supply of caramel apple cider, sake, and crème de menthe. Our alcohol shortage is over for now. Elves may be psychotic tree-hugging cannibals, but at least they understand the value of good booze.

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Author Topic: Lobsterhappiness - Bitter Toil in a Sweet Land (Read 617 times)

Assassinfox

Lobsterhappiness - Bitter Toil in a Sweet Land

Assassinfox

Re: Lobsterhappiness - Bitter Toil in a Sweet Land

Assassinfox

Re: Lobsterhappiness - Bitter Toil in a Sweet Land