Ingish Orbspillar was made captain of the guard of Hatchetminds in 1059. He was a dedicated, well trained speardwarf, and he spent most of his time teaching the recruits the ins and outs of the sacred ways of the spear. Time passed. He became a respected and beloved member of Hatchetminds nobility, sitting on the Baroness' council when called upon.
In 1064, Ingish led the charge against a gigantic purple raven that spat fire. After the long and bloody battle, Ingish had slew the beast, and stood victorious above the ramparts of Hatchetminds, COMPLETELY MISSING HIS TORSO. For some reason known only to the mind of Armok, the brave Ingish Orbspillar was somehow still alive, still quite active, despite not being anything above the waist. Nobody really knew how he qualified as a "Speardwarf" anymore, although his wife had a few theories.
And boy, did he succeed on the homefront! Topless Ingish had an amazing FOUR CHILDREN after his "victory", and he continued his duties as captain of the guard. Obviously, the other soldiers started to debate it, and in the spring of 1066, a war council was held, and Ingish was removed from his position as captain. In a cruel irony, his replacement was Tomus Goldburials, A WRESTLER WHO WAS PARAPLEGIC FROM THE WAIST DOWN. However, the rumormongers called Ingish "slow to anger", and, quite brutally, "superdwarvenly tough", in something of an understatement beyond belief.
Another year went by, and Ingish continued patrolling the fortress, apparently oblivious to the fact that he was just a pair of legs. In the workshops, a remarkable statue was created, documenting the entire Orbspillar Affair. Shortly afterwards, Ingish killed a skinless pterosaur, and was coated in the beast's deadly blood, upon which he suffocated in what can only be termed as an "inexplicable scenario", considering he had somehow been living WITHOUT LUNGS for quite some time previously.
He was buried in a Royal Tomb, despite popular disapproval.
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Topic: The Tragicomedy of Ingish Orbspillar (Read 859 times)