This is the story of Cattendishmab, an underground city which once had 50 dwarves.
In the year 251, Usu Sedmesimo, a gigantic one-eyed pterosaur with three long straight horns, small overlapping gray scales and poisonous extract walked over the 25 cage traps defending Cattendishmab and slaughtered the populace. He gored many a pet cat with his 3 horns. His vapors caused much blistering amongst the (worthless) dying soldiers who failed to harm him. It was only when two high master marksmen armed with copper bolts that his rein of terror was finally ended, and even then one of the masters fell. Melbil Shorastkokeb shot and killed Usu Murkyechoed from only a square away, with no fortifications to protect him.
Cattendishmab was reduced to only 35 dwarves. For nearly a year the dwarves tantrum spiralled. The sheriff had 10 kills to his name, all of them dwarves, 3 of them murders. The broker had three kills of his own, all prisoners, chained next to him at the entrance, 50 stories above all the booze. The expedition leader himself was murdered by the sheriff, who then became the new expedition leader.
Under the previous sheriffs iron fist, the remaining 20 dwarves were forced into manual labor pumping water. 4 dwarves became expert pump operators and creating a makeshift waterfall in the main hall. Everyone forgot Usu Sedmesimo and began to party.
Little did they know that Usu Sedmesimo's blister causing extract still remained at the bottom of the waterfall.
Nearly a year later, things were excellent. Usu Sedmesimo was delicious. Melbil had killed another forgotten beast of deadly dust, but had fallen to a Giant Cave Spider, sacrificing himself to trap it and start a silk farm. Migrants had returned, despite the danger, and the fortress was back up to 48 dwarves.
It was then that Rufithi Imericethutha Anayaalu ruined everything. A huge hairy fire spewing leech, with an enormous shell and fuchsia hair.
Melbil had died only a month before Rufithi's arrival, and the new militia was still green. But that didn't stop them from being armed with silver war hammers and full copper plate. 5 brave dwarves ran out to challenge the hairy leech.
Not one returned. Rufithi's shell remained undented.
Every dwarf in the fortress was told to grab a silver warhammer, or a copper battleaxe. The expedition leader, expert killer of 10 dwarves, grabbed his favored steel battleaxe. They met on the booze pile, and awaited their fate. They did not wait long. The leech fell upon them. The expedition leader was torn in half, his guts spilling onto the floor. The lion and tiger were released from their cages. The leech grabbed their heads and ripped them off. The warhammers dented his shell, but nothing more. He tore through the dwarves, removing arms and dropping them on the floor. He spit blasts of fire that scared the hell out of many pet cats, but did no damage. As the dwarves began to scatter, he grabbed loners, and sucked the blood from their wounds.
Thus was his downfall. One of the dwarves had not washed in many a year, as the area was inaccessible. As he drank deeply of my four pump operators, he also drank deeply of Usu Sedmesimo's blistering extract. His shell remained undamaged, but he knew something was wrong. He became enraged.
His mouth blistered.
Then his brain blistered.
Then he got better..., and ate all but 7 of my dwarves.
Then a merchant smacked him on the head and he died.
(Also a bull killed my giant cave spider, when the 7 dwarves were fleeing, and kobolds ran through hallway now devoid of lions and tigers, and stole all my artifacts! Bah)
Author
Topic: Suck On This (Weaponized Syndrome Realized) (Read 2476 times)