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Author Topic: The Tragic Tale of Chuckknife - 0.31.14 ---> .16 Story Fort  (Read 1921 times)

Argembarger

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The Tragic Tale of Chuckknife - 0.31.14 ---> .16 Story Fort
« on: October 01, 2010, 11:32:02 pm »

Hey guys, I've only been Dorfing it up for about a month now. I'm OK. I can get a fort up and running. However, I've never made it to the point of getting any real nobles, or anything like that. Hell, I have trouble with some of the less vital industries. I've never made more than a handful of prepared meals. My dwarves mostly eat raw shrooms in the dank underground. In essence, I am still a noob.

So I feel like it's the perfect time to run a fortress that is WAY above my league in terms of difficulty, and keep a running log of the events, for your enjoyment.

Let's watch this house of failure collapse together, shall we?

Claimed Dwarfs (of Doom!)
1. gumball135 - Mistêm Agrigòth ---> 'Red'
2. Biag - Minkot Urdimtosid ---> 'Biag'
3. Thatdude - Bëmbul îmäzeral ---> 'Thatdude'
4. xczxc - Uzol Sumuntobul ---> 'Stozu'
5. lolghurt - Eshtân Lòrbuzat ---> 'Satori'

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

-Excerpts from a tattered, bloodstained journal; time and location of recovery disputed-

(All entries prior to this appear to have been torn out)

6th Limestone, 1050

Good evening, journal.

I think we will be very close for a while, you and I.

You see, you are the only thing I have to converse with in this dank pit.

I'm so happy they didn't confiscate you. But please don't ask me what I'm using for ink.

This is the first evening of my incarceration. Who would have guessed that the Royal Guard was so touchy about grafitti?

Damn the Enchanted Ships, and their idiotic king "Tosid Tostid" as well. Honestly, what kind of name is that, anyway?

Well, Journal, the light is getting dim tonight, so I bid you farewell for now.

4th Sandstone, 1050

I... lied, Journal. I apologize. I haven't been able to write in you at all for so long because I've been dragged to and fro, sitting through pointless hearings.

"Yes, I carved 'Tosid takes it up the bum for plump helmets' on the dining room wall. Yes, I realize that it is illegal. Yes, I have considered the force of a platinum hammer against my skull."

What do these assholes want, an apology? The Liberal Dwarf Squad needs more martyrs, I don't care anymore.

7th Sandstone, 1050

Interesting. It appears I won't be hammered after all. But then, what?

14th Sandstone, 1050

My supplies of "ink" are starting to run low. But so far, here's what I've gathered.
-I'm going to be exiled.
-I won't be alone.

Dunno where or when, but somehow, I'm fine with exile. Nice change of pace.

28th Sandstone, 1050

Haha! We're being sent to a Tropical forest!

"Oh no, please not that! Anything but that!"

Nope, the King knows best of course. I'll definately learn my lesson surrounded by fruit and tender creatures to hunt. We leave in a few days. I honestly can't wait to get out of this dump.

13th Timber, 1050

Well, I got some actual, real ink. I hope you appreciate it, Journal.

I feel like they kept us there a lot longer than they should have, but we're finally on the road. Well, not so much "road" as "path that isn't utterly consumed by trees". Let's see who my companions are. I mean, I'll be spending the rest of my life with them, presumably. It would be rude not to get acquainted.

14th Timber, 1050

This... could be better.

I took a look at my partners' resumes, and well...

Just take a gander.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Nobody knows how to do anything at all! Well, except for this "Cog" fellow. Apparantly, he slew twelve megabeasts in the "War of Bronze". That's awesome, except there was never any such war, and he's clearly never left the city before in his life. Ass.

Oh well, at least our wagon is chock-full of goodies to make up for this gross inexpertise.

16th Timber, 1050

Damn it, Cog seems to be assuming some kind of leadership position. Don't ask me how, I haven't a goddamn clue. These guys are all dense as... some kind of unbelievably-dense rock.

You know what, Journal? It's a pretty long journey, still. And I can't see myself writing about anything except how stupid these guys are. I'll catch up to you when we get to the site.

1st Granite, 1051

Happy New Year, Journal.

Happy freakin' New Year indeed.

1. There is nothing in the wagon.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Thank Armok we have a pickaxe (although it is slightly bent and looks like it's going to fall apart at first use), but we don't even have an anvil! Or a woodcutting axe, for that matter!

2. This jungle is SCORCHINGLY HOT.

3. All of the trees and plants around here, are either dead husks, or pathetically withered beyond hope.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

4. My natural Dwarven senses detect that there is 3 or 4 layers of dirt under our feet. There is no sedimentary rock at all, it just suddenly becomes granite. Oh and there's a goddamn AQUIFER a couple of levels down so we can't even get to the rock that is there. Thankfully, there's a bit of a hill here. Hopefully there are some rocks we can use until we can penetrate the aquifer.

5. WHAT THE HELL MAN

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

That's a nasty freaking hippo. I think I'm going to vomit.

There are also some monkeys around here. Bonobos, I think. They actually look pretty normal. I have no idea why they live here, but hopefully the zombie fish and hippos go for them before us.

6... Journal, can I be honest with you? Cog may be the "leader", but everyone seems to be looking to me for guidance. How do I tell them that I have no real leadership experience?

I think I was a junior Dorfball coach for a year, once.

Journal... We are fucking doomed. And I don't have the heart to tell them.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Here is, basically, what I have to work with.

The plateau above where my wagon is:
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

My Dwarves!
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

River (Populated by hefty amounts of zombies, of course.)
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
« Last Edit: October 10, 2010, 09:14:29 pm by Argembarger »
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Urist Imiknorris

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Re: The Tragic Tale of Chuckknife
« Reply #1 on: October 01, 2010, 11:45:25 pm »

Fun stuff.
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gumball135

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Re: The Tragic Tale of Chuckknife
« Reply #2 on: October 02, 2010, 10:08:02 am »

Really good so far. Mind if I claim a dorf?

Just call them ''Red''. Gender doesn't matter, profession doesn't either.
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You could start a zoo and end up with a natural history museum, I'm sure no one would mind.

Argembarger

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Re: The Tragic Tale of Chuckknife - 0.31.14 Story Fort
« Reply #3 on: October 02, 2010, 10:38:28 am »

Haha, sure, you got it.

Here's Red:
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

I hope this fortress lasts more than a few updates before the zombie hippos and fish have their way with me. Y'know, so Red can live a prosperous and wholesome life in this haunted hellhole.

I'll be updating in a seasonal manner. Right now I'm still sort of staring at the immediate embark pause screen, formulating a plan for survival.
« Last Edit: October 02, 2010, 02:11:40 pm by Argembarger »
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This guy needs to write a biography about Columbus. I would totally buy it.
I can see it now.

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Argembarger

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Re: The Tragic Tale of Chuckknife - 0.31.14 Story Fort
« Reply #4 on: October 02, 2010, 02:26:28 pm »

3rd Granite, 1051

I ordered a dwarf whom I have decided to call Red to grab a pickaxe, as she seemed to be one of the strongest among us.

I then ordered everyone to leave the wagon for now and flee to the other side of this little hill, away from the soul-piercing eyes of the zombie fauna. Red is carving a path to safety.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

The bonobo monkeys are trapped behind the bend of the river. Poor them.

Also one of the zombie milkfish has started moving on land. And here I was thinking we might actually survive.

good fishy... nice fish... who's a good little rotting fishy?

pleasedon'tcomeoverherepleasedon'tcomeoverhereohgodpleasedon'tcomeoverhere

13th Granite, 1051

Marginal success, today.

We have a temporary storeroom away and hopefully safe from the vicious zombies.

I've basically forbidden everyone from leaving our little hole in the ground, which I've also designated the group meeting area.

I extended this zone of "safety" to include a path to the wagon, so that we could hopefully break it down as fast as possible and move everything inside.

This worked for everything except the barrels of food and booze. So far, my companions do not seem willing to move them.

Cog and Red are just sort of standing next to the barrels. They aren't drinking. They aren't eating. I don't know. Perhaps they are trying to guard them from the zombies, as if the zombies had a taste for alcohol.

They probably do have a taste for meat, though. Luckily, the zombies seem to want to stay near the river.

I don't ever want to step foot outside again. I think I want to make some kind of airlock, for trading purposes. The lack of an axe or anvil could be the real killer in the long run, though. Can we even last until we trade for some?

17th Granite, 1051

Would someone PLEASE move those barrels? Anyone? Pretty please?

...

Those barrels are garbage, guys. Could you please dump them for me? Inside?

...

Fine, be that way. I don't have time for this, we need to get our farming up and running. Enjoy risking death by zombies to get a drink, though.

24th Granite, 1051

Everyone's thirsty. All the booze is gone already.

Well, guys, don't complain to me, you are the ones who drank our entire supply on the way here...

At least everyone is good friends with each other. The bonds of friendship shall prevail! Maybe.

Red has started looking more and more like a professional as she digs out our haven. She's started taking on the countenance of a true Dwarven miner. A long way to go, sure, but it's good to have someone with an "official" job, around here.

Hey, someone actually decided to bring a barrel inside.

Oh, it's empty. *sigh*... I see how it is. Well, fine. After there's no more food and drink, no more going outside.

Fun Fact: All of the water around here is salty. Ha... ha.. ha. Good lord, this place is a deathtrap. I bet the aquifer is salty, too.

I hope we can do some irrigation before all of the water that IS around dries up. I don't really want to siphon anything from the river anytime soon.

3rd Slate, 1051

I had to do it.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Red should be just fine, but I couldn't afford to wait for her to clear out that large farming plot before I let the water in. Too much time. If we don't get some plump helmets going, stat, we are all going to die.

Since all we seem to have brought with us is a handful of mixed seeds, I think we shall reserve Plump Helmets expressly for brewing (Good thing we had that wagon to build a still with), Quarry bushes for rock nuts (mmm... my favorite. Raw rock nuts. That could be our only food for a while.) and pig tails for, well, whatever the hell you use those for. Probably brewing for now.

Once I'm sure we won't immediately starve to death or die of thirst, I believe I should consider this aquifer below us. The rocks beneath it are too valuable for words right now.

11th Slate, 1051

Out of desperation, I have decided to make Bembul an herbalist. He seems to be the fleetest of foot around here, hopefully he can outrun any horrible zombies that try to interrupt his vital work.

He needs to find something... Anything... that we can brew.

In more positive news, it appears that not all of the water is salty, as my dwarves sometimes attempt to drink it. Unless they are just desperate enough to drink saltwater. The bigger problem seems to be that whatever they try to drink tends to evaporate before they can get it to their mouths. At any rate, this is pretty good information! We might just survive to see anoth

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

uh

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

...RUN FOR YOUR LIFE RED, YOU ARE AN EDIBLE DWARF

I'm going to sound the alarm, I think. If that Jaguar gets too close, all I can do is send everyone at it and hope for the best...

19th Slate, 1051

The jaguar seems to be pacing around up on the plateau. My biggest fear is that it decides to invade my fort through the breach I made for irrigation. I have nothing... NOTHING... I can use to seal that hole (or any gaps) without using up one of my three logs. And I just can't risk that. I'd rather try to punch out a zombie.

I told everyone to drink from a less suicidal murky pool; the one south of the entrance. Everyone rushed at once to get a drink. I really hope this doesn't end badly, but as good news, we shouldn't die of thirst.

Hunger or zombies, now, that's another story.

23rd Slate, 1051

Incredible news, Journal! The zombie hippos and zombie milkfish are gone! I don't know how, I don't know why, but the bonobos are gone too. Maybe they led the zombies away. Thank Armok for bonobos! The zombie jaguar is still lurking about but...

Anyway, the farm area is done irrigating.

You... Goden... You go plant these crops.

Lor, you go get the still ready.

And you... Minkot... You shall be the mason. Yes, there's no stone. Yes, we don't actually need a mason right now. Just... go practice with some clods of dirt or something, I don't care. You're the mason.

I can just taste the sweet, sweet alcoholic nectar already.

1st Felsite, 1051

Facepalm, Journal.

I realized why nobody wanted to get the barrels.

I told everyone but Red to stay in the burrow, whether there was an alarm or not.

The barrels were outside of the burrow.

This doesn't quite explain everything, but they're bringing stuff inside now. Phew.

The still is up, the farms are getting prepared.

We just might pull this off.

5th Felsite

Journal, I completely take back what I said about saving the logs for workshops.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

buildawallbuildawallbuildawallbuildawallbuildawall

11th Felsite

Alright, we plugged up the hole we made into the old murky pool with a shoddy, splintery wooden fortification. I don't know if zombies can even go into the dried up pool without an access ramp, but I'm not taking chances. I don't know if they can or can't destroy wooden fortifications, but better safer than sorrier.

The zelephants kind of look like they're migrating through this area or something. Migrating zombies? brr... Gives me the shivers.

Also, my agile outdoorsman recovered a prickle berry. Sounds... delicious...?

...Food is food... Maybe we can turn it into a prickle berry drink.

16th Felsite, 1051

Our brewmaster has come up with Prickle Berry Wine. Fantastic! And our outdoorsman is bringing in almost one thing a week. We now have a wild strawberry and a "hide root", though that doesn't look too tasty.

This is good, though. It's taken all of my charisma to keep everyone from eating Red out of desperation.

I'm trying to convince my fellow dwarves to save one or two barrels for beverages only. It's kind of tricky. I had to split the stockpile into separate ones for Drinks and Every Other Food, and then strictly limit the number of barrels in the Every Other Food stockpile to one or two. There will be some stuff kept on the ground, but it's worth it to always have a barrel or two good to go for booze.

1st Hematite, 1051

Well, Journal, there it is. Summer has arrived in this blisteringly hot hellhole. I can almost guarantee that all the water is going to disappear very soon.

The first batch of plump helmets and quarry bushes should be nearly ready, Armok willing. Not a moment too soon.

The prickle berry wine was downed just as it was set in the stockpile. I've never seen dwarves flock to such disgusting-smelling rotgut in such droves.

The elephants are leaving us alone. This gives me hope.

Plans for Summer:
1. Penetrate Aquifer.
2. Don't die.
3. Maybe get Cog to do something useful other than sitting around, lying to everyone.

Seasonal Report: Spring of 1051
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
« Last Edit: October 03, 2010, 06:02:15 pm by Argembarger »
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This guy needs to write a biography about Columbus. I would totally buy it.
I can see it now.

trying to make a different's: the life of Columbus

Biag

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Re: The Tragic Tale of Chuckknife - 0.31.14 Story Fort
« Reply #5 on: October 02, 2010, 04:52:52 pm »

I'd like to claim Minkot. Call him/her "Biag," if it please you.
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Thatdude

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Re: The Tragic Tale of Chuckknife - 0.31.14 Story Fort
« Reply #6 on: October 03, 2010, 10:21:20 am »

Great writing so far. Looking forward to hearing more. Could I claim Bembul the herbalist? Naming him 'Thatdude' would be fine. He would also like to explore the caverns when you find them.
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Argembarger

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Re: The Tragic Tale of Chuckknife - 0.31.14 ---> .15 Story Fort
« Reply #7 on: October 03, 2010, 01:52:06 pm »

Meet Biag:
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Meet Thatdude:
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

I love how Biag is ecstatic yet has only had one happy thought in a sea of bad ones.

If anyone wants to see some other aspect of their dwarf, like, deity, relationships, skills or the like, I'd be happy to let you know.

Thanks for the support everyone! I'll be taking on Summer shortly...

As a quick mini-update, the dwarves have felt a strange energy racing across the land. Something feels fundamentally different about the universe, but nobody is quite sure what it is. Among other things, the goblins and kobolds begin to build up with increased courage, ready to strike at hapless sentients at their leisure.

(Praise the Toad for the new update! I needed some more Fun to tip the scales in Chuckknife...)
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This guy needs to write a biography about Columbus. I would totally buy it.
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trying to make a different's: the life of Columbus

Argembarger

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Re: The Tragic Tale of Chuckknife - 0.31.14 ---> .15 Story Fort
« Reply #8 on: October 03, 2010, 05:45:03 pm »

2nd Hematite, 1051

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Sorry about how crappy this looks, Journal. I've got the hunger shakes. Can't help it.

I still need to FIND the bloody aquifer to know for sure if this will work or not... but... with our only resource being a single pick, it's our only hope. We need to trade for items, but we can't build a trade depot until we can access some rock...

This plan puts Red in vital, vital danger. I will have to approach the digging with the utmost care and consideration. Losing Red would be a horrible tragedy... Losing our only pick as well? That spells death for us all.

8th Hematite, 1051

Red struck the Aquifer. I'm having her prepare it for the cave-in. It's rather tricky... It's closer to the surface than I had thought. Not much room to work with. We may have a massive pit open to the sky for a time. Hopefully we can get some rocks, ASAP, and rebuild the ceiling.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

She fell asleep on the job. Poor girl. We all feel like crap these days.

25th Hematite, 1051

Finally! Plump Helmets! I never had much of a taste for them, personally, but now they taste like pure fungal joy.

But even more importantly, we're getting some real Dwarven wine prepared. Ugh, I can't wait another moment! I've been sober for FAR too long.

Project Aquifer is proceeding. I have a big chunk of silty clay that's being held by only the ceiling and a thin horizontal support. I'm about to break away the support; hopefully that will be all it takes. Hopefully. Let's watch.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Huh. Wow. Alright, guess it's time for backup plan #1: Operation Giant Hole In the Ground. I would say "I hope I don't regret this" but I would probably end up regretting it either way.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Damnit, there's a tree in the way. Oh well. If I go around inside like this, there's no way the clay should stay hanging. It's just not physically possible.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

I'll leave that little bit unchanneled until I'm ready to drop it. For safety.

Also, the Zelephants seem to be gone for now. I am relieved.

4th Malachite, 1051

DO IT. (I really hope nobody's drinking from the aquifer right now...)

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Success!

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Now there's just the little problem of actually getting on that block to dig under the aquifer, because it's surrounded by water and I'd rather not risk any drowning dwarves.

Good thing I still have a log. I can salvage my fortification to make a workshop later.

7th Malachite, 1051

I constructed a makeshift bridge to the top of the clay pillar. It'll do, for now.

It looks really awful, but I value practicality FAR above looks. We have penetrated the aquifer.

Maybe someday if we start to really thrive instead of just survive, we can clean this area up and make it look nicer.

9th Malachite,1051

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

I'm...

I'm just so happy, journal.

This is a huge day for us.

We have so much to do. Starting with a Mason's Workshop for Minkot (who, oddly enough, has started calling herself Biag). And a trade depot. Any traders that brave these haunted jungles will have to settle for some fine Dwarven furniture.

Then we can get an axe, and an anvil, and...

And then we will show the Ships of Enchantment that we aren't a bunch of useless criminals.

19th Malachite, 1051

Migrants! I am actually shocked. These poor souls braved the haunted jungles to come to a starving, lowdown hole in the ground? Why?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

They're, well, they're welcome here, but they shouldn't expect to be too comfortable. Unless one of them brought an axe, or an anvil. Hold on, Journal, I'm going to go see about that now.

...

Ok, well, we have doubled our numbers with these 7 migrants. And though three of them have backgrounds working with metal, there are no anvils. No axes, either.

*Sigh*... Welcome to Chuckknife, gentledwarves. Don't ask about the name, Cog came up with it, and between you and me he's a bit of an asshole.

We are the Leprosies of Dwindling. Yeah, things are kind of bad around here.

Please don't help yourself to the food or wine unless you are about to die.

And don't mind the unnatural howling outside. Them's just the zombies.

25th Malachite, 1051

Please don't go fishing, Mr. Fisherdwarf... What's your name? Dodok? Well, Dodok, please stop fishing. That Zombie Elephant saw you, I think.

If you try to go fishing again, I will destroy your genitals with a rock.

Thank you.

2nd Galena, 1051

I figured it would come to this. Here come the zelephants.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

SEAL THE TUNNEL, NOW

Tunnel sealed. We are now cut off from the outside world.

11th Galena, 1051

OH MY GOD I SEALED COG AND THATDUDE OUTSIDE

...

Ok, they're still alive. Impressive. I ordered a backdoor tunnel cut to let them in, which was then immediately sealed with a rock fortification.

No lives were lost. But these elephants are standing outside, waiting.

This is bad.

1st Limestone, 1051

Ugh, what a summer.

I hope Biag is pleased with his nice Mason's workshop, complete with storage level above.

The dining room is carved out. It is large, but so are our ambitions.

Goals for Autumn:
1: Autumn means Traders. Let's get that axe, finally!
2: Probably should consider starting some kind of military; I don't want to live in fear forever.

Summer 1051 Reports
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Summer 1051 Maps
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
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Quote from: penguinofhonor
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This guy needs to write a biography about Columbus. I would totally buy it.
I can see it now.

trying to make a different's: the life of Columbus

xczxc

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Re: The Tragic Tale of Chuckknife - 0.31.14 ---> .15 Story Fort
« Reply #9 on: October 03, 2010, 06:59:44 pm »

Nice! This look as if it's going to get FUN
I'd like to claim a dwarf. The engineer...name him Stozu. Thanks
« Last Edit: October 03, 2010, 07:01:35 pm by xczxc »
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Argembarger

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Re: The Tragic Tale of Chuckknife - 0.31.14 ---> .15 Story Fort
« Reply #10 on: October 04, 2010, 09:20:04 am »

You've got it.

I'm somewhat shocked that I successfully breached that aquifer with no deaths or Fun, given my lack of resources and experience. I've never even embarked on an aquifer before, let alone on one in a haunted scorching jungle with a bunch of equipmentless peasants.

a function of time for the pride I have for this achievement = 1/(Fun).
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This guy needs to write a biography about Columbus. I would totally buy it.
I can see it now.

trying to make a different's: the life of Columbus

lolghurt

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Re: The Tragic Tale of Chuckknife - 0.31.14 ---> .15 Story Fort
« Reply #11 on: October 04, 2010, 10:12:51 am »

I'll take any female, named Satori.
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Quote from: acetech09 date=1343968486
It's probably made from baby bone, with a handle of baby leather. Probably uses the leg bones wound together for the handle, the pelvis for the handle/pick joint, and the pick is the spine.

But that's all in theory, of course. Not like I've made a pick out of my own 5 month old baby before.

Argembarger

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Re: The Tragic Tale of Chuckknife - 0.31.14 ---> .16 Story Fort
« Reply #12 on: October 04, 2010, 10:02:54 pm »

Meet Stozu
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Meet Satori
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Enjoy your Dwarves

Re-updating this fortress; probably throwing caution to the wind not keeping it in the same version, but what the hell, haha.

Probably won't be another update for a couple of days, gotta take my turn in Granitepartners. Chuckknife was initially meant to be a vaccine to the challenges imposed in succession forts, to prepare because I signed up for a few, but I find myself intrigued by this fort. I think I really should have been killed off by now, or at least had any deaths or injuries at all. Hmm.

We shall see in the very near future. Right now, I predict Fun when
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

But what do I know?
« Last Edit: October 04, 2010, 10:07:49 pm by Argembarger »
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Quote from: miauw62
This guy needs to write a biography about Columbus. I would totally buy it.
I can see it now.

trying to make a different's: the life of Columbus