So I've got me a fort halfway through the second year. So far, it's been pretty dull - no goblins have shown up at all so far. The biggest event yet was when two kobold thieves were caught within one step of each other. One was caught by a
sissy treehugger elven merchant by the main entrance. The other was caught at the then-open stairway into my WIP obsidian tower by a speardwarf. Now, due to lack of appropriate armor (all I have access to is copper, and all my fuel has been used up) and because that goblin seemed to have quite the ballsack on him, he attacked my speardwarf.
And lopped his goddamned hand off in a single strike. The hand fell down the stairs and landed in the weapon stockpile.
I think the dwarf went into shock at that point. As the kobold ran away, this guy made a mad dash to my main entrance, presumably clutching at his stump and wondering why he was painting the floor red with it. He spent the next day bleeding and completely pale while my chief medical dwarf sat on his ass.
Here's where it gets awesome. After the wound stopped bleeding (he's very quick to heal), I got another announcement that the same kobold, persistent bugger that he is, was caught by my walled-off farm area. I immediately ordered the crippled dwarf's squad to attack the thief. Since half his squad was off drinking or eating, the cripple dashed outside, still pale and weak from blood loss, with a hammerdwarf next to him, and caught up with the thief. The cripple proceeded to get sweet, sweet revenge by impaling that little bastard for all he was worth. This includes both lungs, mind you. While he did this, the hammerdwarf systematically broke every limb on the kobold's body, ending with the upper spine. After a couple more grievous stab wounds, the kobold managed to drag himself a single tile (presumably by the chin, since that's about all he could manage to move) and died.
The dwarves then returned to the barracks and proceeded to train, even while the cripple was close to fainting from weakness. He kept on training. Then, while casually checking his inventory, I saw this.
He adapted to his injury by way of extreme multitasking.
He was credited with killing the goblin, so that makes him the dwarf with the highest kill count. And he did it with only one hand. While barely conscious due to blood loss.
I hope he gets a statue made in his honor. Hell, I might even make one once this damned place is finally running properly.