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Author Topic: Manorlizard: My First Fortress  (Read 1753 times)

Lagginator

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Manorlizard: My First Fortress
« on: April 22, 2010, 08:15:03 pm »
Greetings gentlemen, I started my first fortress a couple days ago, and I have a question.



Is this what you call fun?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

When the goblins came, they slaughtered all that stood in their way.  Except of course, for poor Lokum.  Out of a thriving fortress of over fifty dwarves, she was the last hedgehog to remain alive.  Despite the goblins beating her so hard that one of her teeth flew clear across the brook...
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

...and despite sustaining "minor injuries" (if one can call bleeding from what I believe to be literally every orifice to be minor injuries)...
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

...she had a strangely content look on her face.  I like to think that sometime during the two months of constant beating she received she was able to find inner peace.  Or maybe it was just a shock-induced coma from the thirty-five splatters and one smear of her own blood she was covered in.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Oh, and I did refer to poor Lokum Tabarurist (Faithfuldaggers) as a hedgehog earlier.  That was because she ended up with twenty-two iron bolts, two copper bolts, and one copper arrow sticking out of her.


Again, I ask you: What precisely is "fun" about a poor little dwarf being filled with a quiver of crossbow bolts and then beaten to a bloody pulp by a gang of goblins for two months straight?


P.S. I uploaded some pictures to this DFMA thing: http://mkv25.net/dfma/map-8562-manorlizard
« Last Edit: April 22, 2010, 08:18:49 pm by Lagginator »
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n00bs4uce

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Re: Manorlizard: My First Fortress
« Reply #1 on: April 22, 2010, 08:44:06 pm »
I laughed uncontrollably when I saw that wall of red text.
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Quote from: Hyndis on April 14, 2010, 05:32:00 pm
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Dermonster

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Re: Manorlizard: My First Fortress
« Reply #2 on: April 22, 2010, 09:46:04 pm »
Quote from: n00bs4uce on April 22, 2010, 08:44:06 pm
I laughed for approximately three hours straight when I saw that wall of red text.

Fix'd

WELCOME TO THE FORA. ENJOY YOUR PSYCHOPATHIC INSANITY.
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Matuin

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Re: Manorlizard: My First Fortress
« Reply #3 on: April 22, 2010, 11:21:14 pm »
Did she survive?

EDIT: Only in DF could that question even be asked...
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Lagginator

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Re: Manorlizard: My First Fortress
« Reply #4 on: April 23, 2010, 11:01:05 am »
Quote from: Matuin on April 22, 2010, 11:21:14 pm
Did she survive?

EDIT: Only in DF could that question even be asked...

No, I was hoping the goblins would get tired and just leave, but a goblin with a real weapon finally came and put her out of her misery.
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Put

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Re: Manorlizard: My First Fortress
« Reply #5 on: April 23, 2010, 01:04:38 pm »
Yes that is exactly what fun means.
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LordSlowpoke

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Re: Manorlizard: My First Fortress
« Reply #6 on: April 23, 2010, 01:27:23 pm »
Having a dorf injured in (almost) all the ways possible to dwarfkind - yes, almost, because the fat didn't melt - it very fun, indeed. That's practically the definition.
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Ethereal.Frog

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Re: Manorlizard: My First Fortress
« Reply #7 on: April 23, 2010, 03:58:32 pm »
Now, I only started a few days weeks (That long already?) ago myself, and have to experience any REAL fun, but that is definitely fun. Also fun is breaking every joint of every elf in a village. Or collapsing half a mountain on your fortress as a contingency plan. This is a fun game. We do fun things in it.
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Quote from: Misterstone on July 29, 2010, 04:37:14 pm
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Urist Imiknorris

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Re: Manorlizard: My First Fortress
« Reply #8 on: April 23, 2010, 07:49:57 pm »
Yes, this is what we call "fun." Why?

Because these dwarves are our lemmings. We lead, and they follow unfailingly, even when their faith in their leaders costs them their lives. Why is this fun? Because we have complete control. We are able to laugh at these dwarves' suffering. We laugh because we subject them to varying grotesqueries and watch them suffer. We laugh as others subject them to such grotesqueries, and we especially laugh when the results surprise us. A dwarven pincushion? Made of Win.
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Kishmond

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Re: Manorlizard: My First Fortress
« Reply #9 on: April 24, 2010, 11:06:25 pm »
It's Fun because next time you can have even more Fun doing that to the goblins!
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