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Author Topic: The Fate of The Vestibules of Organizing  (Read 777 times)

Diablous

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The Fate of The Vestibules of Organizing
« on: March 07, 2010, 12:46:29 pm »

Well this is my first time writing something that happened in DF. I normally am not much of a writer but I decided that I wanted to write this scene out. Well here we go!

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

 
 
So what do you think? This is my first DF story. Comments, Criticism, etc. please.
« Last Edit: April 01, 2010, 04:51:16 pm by Diablous »
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Quote from: Solifuge
A catgirl, whom oft it would please
To dine on a pizza, with cheese,
Thought it was quite fine
To be partly feline,
Excepting the hairballs and fleas.

Renault

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Re: The Fate of The Vestibules of Organizing
« Reply #1 on: March 22, 2010, 08:32:13 pm »

 :) Quite good for a first story, indeed! It's amusing to read the descriptions and be able to understand what was going on in game terms as it happened. Makes it easy to picture. A bit of the grammar was, at times, off, but thats a cosmetic issue, of course.
You should definitely write more--like with DF itself, great writing takes a lot of practice and effort. If this start is anything to judge, you could definitely make some great tales.
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r3d5kull

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Re: The Fate of The Vestibules of Organizing
« Reply #2 on: March 22, 2010, 09:19:40 pm »

Great writing style. I would advise making more stories. Please continue writing, We nerds must muster our writing utensils. If you get a chance please name a guy Johann for R3d5kull  ;)
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Diablous

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Re: The Fate of The Vestibules of Organizing
« Reply #3 on: March 23, 2010, 02:47:33 pm »

Thanks guys. Grammar isn't really my strong suit, but I haven't really proof-read it. I think I will add some more when I strike adamantine in TwilightShadow. And r3d5kull, any specifics on what you want named after you? Professions?
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Quote from: Solifuge
A catgirl, whom oft it would please
To dine on a pizza, with cheese,
Thought it was quite fine
To be partly feline,
Excepting the hairballs and fleas.

r3d5kull

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Re: The Fate of The Vestibules of Organizing
« Reply #4 on: March 23, 2010, 06:12:29 pm »

I'll take the mayor or a noble
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Diablous

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Re: The Fate of The Vestibules of Organizing
« Reply #5 on: March 23, 2010, 07:11:56 pm »

Then the mayor, Iteb ShotAxe, shall be named Johann! And I fixed a few mistakes in the OP.
« Last Edit: March 28, 2010, 12:42:40 pm by Diablous »
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Quote from: Solifuge
A catgirl, whom oft it would please
To dine on a pizza, with cheese,
Thought it was quite fine
To be partly feline,
Excepting the hairballs and fleas.

Renault

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Re: The Fate of The Vestibules of Organizing
« Reply #6 on: March 23, 2010, 07:37:56 pm »

Heh, what about me? I'd be honored to make a showing ;)
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Diablous

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Re: The Fate of The Vestibules of Organizing
« Reply #7 on: March 23, 2010, 08:07:01 pm »

What kind of dwarf do you want named after you?
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Quote from: Solifuge
A catgirl, whom oft it would please
To dine on a pizza, with cheese,
Thought it was quite fine
To be partly feline,
Excepting the hairballs and fleas.

Renault

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Re: The Fate of The Vestibules of Organizing
« Reply #8 on: March 23, 2010, 08:09:55 pm »

If you get a really good smith, I'd love to be that. Otherwise, a mighty axedwarf would be nice.
Keep us posted on how they do out there. :D
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Diablous

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Re: The Fate of The Vestibules of Organizing
« Reply #9 on: March 27, 2010, 02:01:47 pm »

Okay, mid-term week is over and I have some spare time. Got a legendary blacksmith for ya Ren. Plenty of time has passed, and Tirist was injured, but just got better, so I'll use that to write what has happened since the Vestibules fell a dwarf year ago.
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Quote from: Solifuge
A catgirl, whom oft it would please
To dine on a pizza, with cheese,
Thought it was quite fine
To be partly feline,
Excepting the hairballs and fleas.

Diablous

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  • [PREFSTRING:avatar's cuteness]
    • View Profile
Re: The Fate of The Vestibules of Organizing
« Reply #10 on: March 28, 2010, 03:24:12 pm »

Okay, planned on doing an info dump, but this grew, and I decided to just post this. How Tirist got unjured:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

And some notes:
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
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Quote from: Solifuge
A catgirl, whom oft it would please
To dine on a pizza, with cheese,
Thought it was quite fine
To be partly feline,
Excepting the hairballs and fleas.