It all started when a couple of Ogre Magi (Dig Deeper) wandered onto the map. I sent my 3 (Still working with the original seven) military dwarves out to meet them, thinking it was surely the dwarfiest thing to do. Shortly after the battle was started, the Magi started launching fireballs everywhere and soon the heavily wooded map was completely ablaze. Nobody, dwarf nor Ogre, was felled in combat, but none of them survived the inferno.
A few moments later, Urist McMadness comes out of the fortress to observe the scorched wasteland that now surrounded his home and promptly went berserk. He ran back inside and killed all but one of his fellows, Urist McBabbles, who then went stark raving mad, took off his clothes and began rolling about in a puddle of vomit.
Meanwhile, a group of migrants appeared on the edge of the map and were wandering across the burnt, barren wasteland towards the fortress. I can only imagine what they were thinking.
Probably something along the lines of:
"This isn't what Urist McTravelagent described at all!"
or maybe (and probably more likely)
"I hope they have booze. I love booze. Mmm booze..."
Anyways, they open the front door, only to find one dorf covered in vomit, crawling around naked and babbling, and the other dorf furiously chasing a llama through the halls with murder on his mind.
I can only assume they were rather shocked.
A few moments later, Urist McMadman, having caught and dismembered the llama, turns his attention towards the newcomers and kills all but one of them, who manages to escape into the lower levels of the fort while Urist McMadman turns his attention towards something on the surface.
What is it you ask?
An ogre.
He runs towards the ogre and starts beating on it. After a few seconds, the ogre, having taken absolutely no damage, decided that he'd had enough and broke both of Urist McMadman's legs. Not even this stifles the rabid dorfs rage and he continues to strike at the ogre, who finally decided that the dorf's burning rage and psychotic determination was more than a little disturbing and RAN AWAY off of the whole map despite having taken NO damage.
So now, Urist McMadman, who had driven an ogre away through sheer craziness, dragged himself back to the fort, (presumably with only his arms) where he proceeded to pass out next to the main stairwell. The one remaining sane dorf was on the bottom level of the fort and refused to go up the stairs because every time he did, Urist McMadman would wake up just long enough to drag himself forward a few feet and send the poor fellow scampering back down the stairs in fear.
Eventually the two insane dwarves died of starvation/dehydration and the sane fellow was in the process of doing so. With Urist McMadman out of the picture, he finally went up stairs and made his way to the food stockpile, eager to at last satiate himself.
Suddenly, ORCS!
They stormed the halls just as the last dorf finished his final meal and they chopped him into tiny pieces.
I like to think they had a little chuckle amongst themselves about the state of the fortress and the surrounding area as they looted things. I'll bet they especially enjoyed the dismembered llama riddled with dwarven teeth-marks in the meeting hall.
I know I probably could have put an end to all the madness at several points just my activating all my dwarfs and making them dogpile Urist McMadman to stop his rampage, but I think it turned out better this way.
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Topic: What "fun" has happened to you recently? (Read 976 times)