Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[Fishbreath]

Let me provide a bit of exposition first. I've been writing as a hobby for eight or ten years now, starting a large number of stories and finishing very few of them (one notable exception being a NaNoWriMo project a few years ago, which, while moderately entertaining in terms of plot, was rather poorly carried out), and I always end up enjoying it when I get around to it. Lately, thanks to another project, I've discovered that having an obligation to write something entertaining is a great way to get myself to actually do so on a regular basis.

Towards the end of spring I resolved to create such an obligation for myself, taking the world I'd developed as a tabletop RPG setting and coming up with with some stories to tell from it. I spent some time writing between then and the middle of June, and by the latter I ended up with enough cushion to start putting them on the Internet. I dusted off an old Wordpress account, found out that a URL is actually pretty cheap. I ended up with Many Words, which manages to sound deep and thoughtful while actually being almost entirely devoid of meaning.

Two weeks ago I told the friends who had seen the world via the tabletop campaign about the project and put the first entry up on the Internet. The problem I find myself with now is that my friends know me for the absentminded, degenerate slacker I am, and since they'd just exchange knowing looks if I slowed down to the point where I missed updating, they're not the world's best motivators. Therefore (and also because I'm a bit of an attention monger) I'm spreading the word about myself among other circles in which I run, and here we are.

The story that's currently being posted is set in a world of magic, desperation, and faux Vikings (there are dwarves, too, but they're not important yet). There are two big points that have given it more staying power in my mind than most of my writing projects (I don't know if they'll make it fun to read or not, but whatever): it's a relatively serious story in a world that's a little bit ridiculous; the backdrop's grimness descends all the way to milli- or even centiWarhammer levels, but the story is about metaphorical lights in the dark. I'll grant that most of the elements I smash together are cliches, but I like to think that the end result is something that is more than the sum of the parts.

Of course, I'll let you decide for yourself whether that's true. I hope at least a couple of you enjoy reading it as much as I'm enjoying writing it.

[Fishbreath]

I'm not sure what the policy on bumping one's own threads is, but I'll use ignorance and a remark that another week has passed and another 1200 words are ready for your perusal as a transparent excuse to do so flagrantly.

>.>

[forsaken1111]

Replying to mark this, I will read when I get a chance and let you know what I think. It being 9AM here and me still awake means I'm not really in the mood at the present time, which is understandable I think.

[Supermikhail]

First, let me direct you here.
Second, the introduction is good, but the language isn't. I'd recommend you should search Google for "improve your writing". At least it helped me very much. As it is, the writing sounds very fanfiction-y and amateurish.

And really, people come to a forum mostly to chat. I'd also think that in summer people spend more time outdoors so there's even less time to read. Also, see if you could improve your story using my "suggestions", and repost it in improved state. Besides, you could aim for a shorter genre, because what you have posted didn't seem to have introduced anything to motivated the reader to continue reading, that might help you improve.

[Fishbreath]

First, let me direct you here.
Second, the introduction is good, but the language isn't. I'd recommend you should search Google for "improve your writing". At least it helped me very much. As it is, the writing sounds very fanfiction-y and amateurish.

I'm well aware that I'm not a particularly talented writer, and I suppose I didn't say it too clearly in the first post but this endeavor is in large part a way for me to improve by doing. Some fifty handwritten pages later I'm perfectly willing to say that I'm less than happy with some of the things I put to paper fifty pages ago (and unhappy now with only a very, very slightly smaller number than I was then), but one of the things I've come to realize is that, given the opportunity, I'll spend all my time revising and re-revising the same thousand words or so, and I'd argue that, while that might lead to a very good thousand words measured against what I usually turn out, it's also incredibly demoralizing to produce. Better to move on, accept that some of it isn't particularly good, and try to do better in the future.

As for dialog words, yeah. That's a problem I know I have, and it's not improved any by the fact that I'm bad at dialog--I never feel like I can get quite the right feeling into the words themselves, and so I end up swinging back and forth between overuse of synonyms for 'said' and said-with-adverbs syndrome.

And really, people come to a forum mostly to chat. I'd also think that in summer people spend more time outdoors so there's even less time to read. Also, see if you could improve your story using my "suggestions", and repost it in improved state. Besides, you could aim for a shorter genre, because what you have posted didn't seem to have introduced anything to motivated the reader to continue reading, that might help you improve.

I'm writing in serial form, and I've explained above what happens when I don't limit the amount of revising I allow myself to do. I'm sure I'll eventually go back and clean up the beginning, but I'm also sure that I'm in the genre I'd want to be, even if midsummer is a bad time to start.

Thank you for the feedback, though--I do genuinely appreciate advice for ways to improve. Difficult as it may be to hear at first, honest and useful criticism is about the best sort of response in my book.

[Supermikhail]

Oh, I've just thought up something valuable, probably.
You're writing a serial fiction to not let yourself be bogged down on editing a single section, and not lose self-esteem. But then you publish your unedited work, that even you know is flawed, on the Internet, possibly in hope of positive reviews to raise your esteem of the work. Don't you find the process kind of counter-productive?

[mendonca]

SM: I have also considered this, it is a strange one.

If you write for fun, or to get better, is it not better to have it out there, open for positive OR negative criticism? (I don't really know the answer to this question ...)

The alternative is to have it sit on your hard drive, or in a pile of paper, or even worse: in your head, going without any sort of attention, which sort of defeats the purpose of writing in the first place?

Also: editing is hard work. Maybe one step towards realising you need to edit your work is to publish it unedited: Suck up the potential blow to your self-esteem, take it on the chin and emerge a better, harder working writer. give yourself some tough love, if you will?

to the OP: Sorry, I haven't got around to reading your stuff yet, have meant to, but don't take any of what I say as representative of my opinions on your work (just yet )

[Supermikhail]

Well, as long as he listens to negative criticism while writing further, I guess it's good. Although still it's kind of not fair to us, critics. He should have published the part where he's improved so we could give some useful criticism, not the part that he's already past in quality.

[Fishbreath]

Wow. Didn't expect to spark this much discussion. Let me reply to a few things in turn:

Oh, I've just thought up something valuable, probably.
You're writing a serial fiction to not let yourself be bogged down on editing a single section, and not lose self-esteem. But then you publish your unedited work, that even you know is flawed, on the Internet, possibly in hope of positive reviews to raise your esteem of the work. Don't you find the process kind of counter-productive?

It's not a self-esteem thing--I'd posit that anyone who continues to put creative work of any kind on the Internet for any length of time is not lacking in that, or at least in thickness of skin--but rather a perfectionist streak getting in the way of moving on. It's much easier to write an entirely new section taking into account the lessons I've learned from going back and facepalming at previous ones, instead of trying to salvage something that could probably really use a complete rewrite. The problem is that I end up trying to salvage it anyway, and setting a limit on how much of that I do is the only way I'll get myself to move forward to where the going is a little bit easier. It's not that I don't edit, either, and in fact I draft everything I've been writing of late with pen and paper precisely because that leads to a sort of free edit when I have to type it up.

As for positive reviews as a self-esteem booster, I know better than to expect that. The only kind of feedback I'm looking for is the constructive sort.

If you write for fun, or to get better, is it not better to have it out there, open for positive OR negative criticism? (I don't really know the answer to this question ...)

The alternative is to have it sit on your hard drive, or in a pile of paper, or even worse: in your head, going without any sort of attention, which sort of defeats the purpose of writing in the first place?

Also: editing is hard work. Maybe one step towards realising you need to edit your work is to publish it unedited: Suck up the potential blow to your self-esteem, take it on the chin and emerge a better, harder working writer. give yourself some tough love, if you will?

The middle paragraph here is a very good point. The last paragraph is, too--I've taken it on the chin from a friend or two, too, although granted for simpler things like letting a typo slip past me, and the stuff that's going up this week I've poked at three times: once on the way from brain to paper (and of late there have been a lot more changes in the notebook as I write), once on the way from paper to computer, and once more before it goes live.

Well, as long as he listens to negative criticism while writing further, I guess it's good. Although still it's kind of not fair to us, critics. He should have published the part where he's improved so we could give some useful criticism, not the part that he's already past in quality.

There's now a bit of a disclaimer at the bottom of the welcome page. >.> I would remark that there's no such thing as unuseful useful criticism, if you catch my meaning--judging one's own work objectively is probably one of the hardest parts of the creative process. If I'm catching flak about something I suspected I did wrong, it's a decent sort of confirmation; if I'm catching flak about something I thought was okay, then I obviously need to pay more attention to that going forward.

There is also the point to be made that you're not necessarily obliged to be a critic, but considering the previous paragraph, I think making that point is counterproductive.

[Supermikhail]

Alright, you don't have that many flaws, but sometimes people post something that screams for criticism, and so picks out only the most prominent flaws. If it was your case, you'd hear a lot about said-bookisms, but nothing about what's around them. Note that I said that your writing is somewhat fanfiction-y, but I didn't pinpoint the problem.