Bay12, I have a sin to confess. It's a long tale, and I hope you'll stick with me to its end.
The story begins three weeks ago.
First, I modded in two civs: a cat civ and a carp civ.
The first world I officially tried them in was a small world with no maximum population and it wouldn't stop until all the megabeasts were dead, or the year 10000 was reached, whichever was first.
The Carp civ was made up of Carp in BATTLESUITS. Their body tags consisted of "INNERCARP" which contained the Carp body tags, as well as being the "nervous" tag, so if it was destroyed, they too were destroyed (I'm not sure if it actually worked because I could never kill one), and then had a BATTLESUIT body. I gave them DRAGONFIREBREATH to simulate flamethrowers, as well as a THOUGHT based attack as a psychic power, which also lit things on fire. Last but not least, they had two "MECHA-MAWS" which were attached to the arms of the BATTLESUIT. They subjugated the civilians, and killed and tortured those who would run away or fight. They were ruled by powerful dictators, and they were the scourge of the land. They could speak, but their ruthless expansionist tendencies coupled with their violent personalities made them enemies of almost all.
The Cat civ, on the other hand, was made in under 5 minutes and had a max population of 64000 per civ. They were the only thing keeping the Dwarves alive, for they achieved maturity in one year, as opposed to the carp's three years. The world was the site of the biggest catsplosion ever seen, reaching from the far northern jungles to the icy southern glaciers. Not even the seas could contain their number, and their civs founded colonies on otherwise unreachable islands.
Around 2310, the Carp made it their goal to annhiliate all the Cats. They had finished off the elves, humans, and dwarves, leaving only the Cats and Goblins. The Goblins survived by kidnapping young Carp and building obsidian battlesuits for them using stolen plans.
However, the Carp had grown so accustomed to their battlesuits that they could no longer tolerate the ocean. The Cats survived on one island, and occasionally ventured back to the mainland to reclaim their old homes, but were always quickly driven away by the Carp.
In 4321, the Goblins fell to the Carp menace. Looking back, making the Carp size 120 was a terrible idea.
In 4545, the last megabeast died. The Terrifying Age (the adjective of the Carp) started.
Worldgen ended.
First thing I did was open legends to figure all this out.
Then I made a startling discovery: one Dwarf civilization was alive. It had taken massive losses, yes, but the Mountainhome was located next to a lake that lay in the middle of The Teeth of Daring. Presumably the Carp Battlesuits could not fit inside the tunnels, and they had remained safe.
I started a fortress. Things went well until summer. To my surprise, it was not the Carp.
Cats. About 30 of them. Armed with lances, swords, and axes, led by an Elite Wrestler. Their weapons were made of wood, and were special custom weapons designed for cats and cats alone.
I did not change much about the cats. I'm not exactly sure how the cats, being QUADRUPEDS managed to wield the weapons, or how they managed to use a Kittybow, but the deafening purrs from the ensuing slaughter echoed throughout the valley for days.
My dwarves fought valiantly, yes, and took out 12 of the cats, including the Elite Wrestler, but in the end, the sheer cuteness of a horde of cats with little wooden weapons and little wooden armors was too much for the poor souls.
I started a PLAY NOW dwarven adventurer, knowing that he would start (naked and with no skills) at my last fortress. His name? Kol Lancedbasket.
His story: My theory is that the carp had left the babies alive, who grew up to become feral children. Kol was one such feral child.
The carnage was quite disturbing. He picked up body parts of beings that looked much like him, but their skin was mostly covered. He tried on the clothes, and found them a nice fit. For the first time, he felt warm while outside. He was in the mid-south, where it was cold all year. He also found a mysterious tool: a sharp implement with a blade at the end of a stick. A battle axe. Wielding a Battle Axe and Bomrek Duraddumat's head, Kol set out for adventure.
He thought he had found another place full of warm clothing, like the last area. Instead, he found the Carp. Strangely, they welcomed him. They did not attack, and he settled down.
A dwarf had become a part of the Carp menace.
He learned their language, he had learned their ways, and he was no longer feral, something impossible by human psychology, but apparently possible with the advanced technology of the Carp. He joined their biggest religion, the worship of the Goddess "Mafol Shashuzol" (Mafol Helloil), who was portrayed as a skeletal female Carp and was associated with War, Chaos, and Death. He also (casually) worshipped "Alnis" who was the God of Revelry, Song, Dance, and Happiness. He was depicted as a male carp.
Asking the Hammerlord Dictator of this Carp nation (called something like "The Rags of Enjoyment" if I remember correctly) how he could be of service, he was sent to slay a powerful warrior who led the armies of the last Dwarven nation in the world.
It took me a long while to find one of the destroyed fortresses that had a tunnel system to the Mountainhome. When I finally did find one, I checked my inventory and stepped in.
The trip was pretty tedious, minus some encounters with Naked Mole Dogs and Troglodytes. When I finally came out, I was greeted warmly by the dwarves, and even given a 21 crossbow salute.
The bolts hurt my right hand, and the battle axe dropped. I had to fight using only a head to fight, and managed to take out one guard and four civilians, including one child. After that, he stumbled outside of the fortress, crawling slowly to the edge. He was sneaking, but his mission had failed. He could not find the dwarf he was to kill.
A few steps away from the edge, with a trail of blood behind him, he saw that his days were numbered. They were only a few feet away from finding him, and he did the last thing he could think of. He set himself up against a tree, and lit a fire. He then threw the head at one of the searchers, alerting them to his presence.
I imagine that he smiled before trying to strange one of them to death, gouging out their eyes in the process. But before he could choke the last bit of life from the poor dwarf, he was beheaded by his target.
I realized that the last remaining Dwarf Nation was a nation of elf-licking chodes. I realized that, outside of the Outposts, Dwarves were cleanly divided into two types: dumb and haughty, or dumb and bungling. I realized that Migrants were only the bungling ones, the nobles that came to the fort came because they were too haughty, even for the king, and I realized:
The Carp were the only nice ones. They occupied the sites they conquered, providing for their people. They killed off all the goblins and elves, so they couldn't be that bad, right? Looking into their history, their leaders, although dickweeds, would always lead their own troops into battle, and they almost always kept the rule in the family, something unheard of with other dictatorships.
Then I thought about the fact that they were a dictatorship. They were a military based race, so if you weren't a soldier, no matter what race you were, you would be treated the same as anyone else: like shit. If you were a soldier but not high ranking, you would be treated like shit.
There are reports of Leaders killing their subjects, even their finest warriors, because of their paranoia. One time, this even resulted in the loss of a battle, one of the only losses I have found in the histories. There is also a lot of signs pointing to corruption from the temples of the Greed God, Rulership God, and War Goddess, but that's to be expected. What is more surprising is that the God of Lies may be the only one without major corruption, but the reports are likely fabricated.
But, they weren't haughty like the dwarves, sending useful and smart members of their dooms at skeletal elk covered glaciers, elephant filled jungles, and cavesparrowman surrounded mountain caves.
They weren't flesh eating hippie fascists walking contradictions like the elves. The Carp were regular fascists.
They were like the humans, but better, in terms of roads and bridges. The Carp had covered much of the world in ways to travel quicker and easier.
They weren't completely lawless and power-based like the Goblins, and they didn't kidnap children to recruit into their army.
They weren't annoying and small like kobolds.
They weren't deadly cute like the Cats.
The decision weighed on my mind: Do I give up Dwarf Fortress in favor of Mecha Carp Fortress?
No, I would not betray Dwarf Kind. This was the greatest challenge the Dwarves had ever faced. Perhaps, in a different world, the Dwarves would fare better, but here, it would always be the Terrifying Age. Also, I had the awesome idea to give the Carp ELEPHANT MOUNTS, so I had to regen to debug that. Plus, I theorized that if I removed the ability to speak from the Carp and gave it to the Cats, the Cats would be able to EXPLODE across the map faster and the Carp could kill the map in far less time than 4545 years. I also finally gave the Carp actual "suits", with an Exosuit (the "skin"), and various battle made suits, as well as worksuits.
The results were far more promising: In the first 120 years, the Cats spread across the entire earth before being defeated (and subsequently enslaved) by the Humans. All Cat towns became human towns, which soon became Carp Towns. The Carp "Coalition of Unhappiness" didn't make any major moves until they were taken over by a hotheaded NEW leader, after the last leader bore no children. The new leader, a seductive carpette by the name of "Imepe Wildwings the Blisters of Foundation" was presumably scorned by a human who wasn't interested in doing it with a fish, and she led the Carp to establishing their nation as the single greatest empire of all time. The Goblins fell next, but the Dwarves managed to stay together. When the Elves got in the way of the Woodcutting operation needed to power the vile Carp War Machine, the Carp were on the other side of the fence with the Elves Zerg Rushing their towns, actually managing to take out three! (It took a total of ~10000 elves to do this) When Imepe Wildwings the Blisters of Foundation died, the Carp expansion halted.
In 2343, the remaining megabeast was slain by a kobold.
Worldgen ended.
I checked the legends.
Seeing that the legends were far less entertaining other than the above, and seeing that the WAR ELEPHANTS were also utilized by humans, and still nothing interesting happened, as well as a new, and less terrifying idea for a mod, I gave up hope on the Carp/Cat Mod and deleted it.
So forgive me, bay12, for committing this sin against Dwarfkind. I gave the already tough carp even better methods of murder. I took them from the rivers and gave them access to the land. I gave them the ability to forge steel, a technique once reserved for dwarves.
Forgive this fool for creating an abomination, and failing to destroy it fully. Forgive him, for he cannot delete it from his mind.
tl;dr I am going to work on another Carp/Cat mod.
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Topic: The Carp and the Cats (Read 1620 times)