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[SquirrelWizard]

well, to recount some of my more interesting fubars....

Magma Imp stories.

A) embarked, right ontop of the magma pipe, all the way across the map from where I wanted to start the fortress, only two miners survived the forest fire, nothing else.

B) Fortress2, embarked, saw an open mamga vent. Much more favorable starting position, was able to dig in before the imps started their shenanigans. Lost two dwarves to an unnamed attacker (bled to death), likely imps. Trained up two marks dwarves to deal with the blighters, but due to being two dwarves down, I was short staffed. My first dwarven Caravan appears, and walks smack dab into a forest fire (note they spawned on the side of the map, and happily trudged through the flames to my depot. None of the local dwarves died (they were inside). The fire started because an imp decided to fireball a groundhog. So I lost my first caravan and my trade liason, but on the upside I got my anvil for free, and the forest fire cooked two kolbold thieves.

Engineering Blunders

A) In one fortress, before I developed a taste for over-engineered magma/water works, I tunned to my magma pipe (it was capped) and built an obsidan factory on site. The design was relatively simple. I diverted water, via channel, to the factory from a nearby brook. This also served to power the magma and water pumps. The back wall of the factory was right on the edge of the channel of water.

Well... this was my first obsidan factory, and I built it two stories tall. The factory worked perfectly, at least on the first run (i was tunneling out the obsidan after it formed) I found that tunneling didn't remove the floor above, ergo it ruined the water mechanism. I cursed my short sightedness, and started to renovate my factory to function again. During the renovation process there was a collapse of a floor tile that dragged my ledgendary mason, a Master Miner, and my Baron into the water below. Well.. the mason and the miner both made it out of the water via a nearby ramp from the channeling process (I added the ramp because you know how miners love to jump into channels.) so only the baron died.

B) My last fortress ToolCrews, was going to be a constructed volcano. I was busy working on the internals, when I decided that the kings room should have a magma fall in it. So I wanted to test out the magma fall prior to throwing any dwarves in there, and I accidentally caused and overflow of magma that fell down my main access shaft (it wasn't a torrental flood, but a steady drip which was more than enough). The access shaft ran all the way to the bottom of the fortress, and was the only way to get up to the dining room, and most of the lower fortress (workshops and storage) suffice to say, a lot of dwarves died to super hot lava sauce before I could hammer out a secondary access shaft.

[Lord Shonus]

I had one incident, before I deiscovered how nice ramps are, whre I was removing the chunks from the obsidian cap I put over the magma pipe. THe predictiable cave in happwned, punching through my treasure stockpile and filling it with magme.

[Ieb]

So, my glorious fort met great misfortune today.

One of my starter seven got a mood, a legendary miner/engraver demanded that along rock and other various things, she required logs.

We're in the middle of a siege. The indoor tree-farm's haven't brought up a single log-worthy tree over a season.

Needless to say, she snapped as result. Melancholy hit, and she climbed on one of my towers, and leaped down.

I noticed when I saw the following announcement.

Messthos Roldethlokum, Baby has died after colliding with an obstacle.

She jumped down with her baby.
She survived, to attempt suicide again.

God speed, Vucar.

[Roostre]

In one fortress of mine, the second craftsdwarf to fail a strange mood went berserk. He wanted shells, and I was not going to make anyone fish for shelled creatures in a carp-infested river, so I simply left him to his own devices figuring that he'd just go mad or melancholy.

Bad idea.

He went berserk and headed for the nearest lever. It was linked to a support, so there was a cave-in. No one was killed by it, and I think Urist McAngrycrafter was bothered by the fact that his anger hadn't destroyed anyone yet, so naturally he went for the most helpless-looking person he could find: A sleeping child. He dragged the kid out of bed and started beating him up.

But karma was not on the side of the berserker. The child won the ensuing fight. The craftsdwarf bled to death after receiving a broken spine and several red wounds. The child went right back to bed with only a few light gray wounds and the happy thought "took joy in slaughter recently," and was able to get up and move around just fine when he was done sleeping.

I'm now looking into a way to make the game let me draft younger dwarves into the military. That kid is hardcore.

[Grendus]

In one fortress of mine, the second craftsdwarf to fail a strange mood went berserk. He wanted shells, and I was not going to make anyone fish for shelled creatures in a carp-infested river, so I simply left him to his own devices figuring that he'd just go mad or melancholy.

Bad idea.

He went berserk and headed for the nearest lever. It was linked to a support, so there was a cave-in. No one was killed by it, and I think Urist McAngrycrafter was bothered by the fact that his anger hadn't destroyed anyone yet, so naturally he went for the most helpless-looking person he could find: A sleeping child. He dragged the kid out of bed and started beating him up.

But karma was not on the side of the berserker. The child won the ensuing fight. The craftsdwarf bled to death after receiving a broken spine and several red wounds. The child went right back to bed with only a few light gray wounds and the happy thought "took joy in slaughter recently," and was able to get up and move around just fine when he was done sleeping.

I'm now looking into a way to make the game let me draft younger dwarves into the military. That kid is hardcore.

Wow, I thought getting curbstomped by children was only an adventuremode shenanigan. I'm curious, was the child a legendary socialite? Child dwarves tend to spend their whole time talking if you have good meeting zones, tends to make them absurdly strong, tough, and fast for children. If the crafter was a full time hauler with no stats, it's no surprise he got his ass handed to him by a little tyke.

[Grendus]

Embarked next to a chasm with Dig Deeper mod. Wagon was right next to a pack of 10 giant beetles.

Shortest. Embark. Ever.

[The Architect]

This topic brings so much joy...

Carpman, that is one of the most awesome stories in recent DF lore.

[The Architect]

Necrotastic. So, in Sparkgear 7 we were in a glacier. Someone built a very overdesigned water generator, and dwarves still died of thirst. They didn't have a way to get the water. So, for a few turns things continued to go nuts, people continued to fail to fix it, and dwarves died by the dozens. Meanwhile, the invaders continued to flood in and slaughter the caravans, depositing corpses and piles of garbage from friends and foes alike.

So, in stepped a few expert players, and managed to break the water generator that didn't really do anything useful anyway. Then I stepped in, made a water generator and left notes on how to use the barracks, and generally put the fortress on track. A few players seemed to be doing very well, but we didn't know that they were actually failing to take care of the essentials in the notes. Then we had about a dozen more Yet Another Annoying Death(s) as people failed to utilize the water supply. We also failed to finish cleaning up the crap scattered around. The fortress deteriorated to unplayability.

And that, my friends, was Yet Another Annoying Death, the death of Sparkgear 7.