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Author Topic: Stuck in a Rut  (Read 1023 times)

slink

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Stuck in a Rut
« on: December 31, 2009, 12:58:08 pm »

It's a good thing we don't have successions yet.  My current Baroness Consort has given birth to 7 sons and only 1 daughter.  Imagine 7 sons contending for the title of the next Baron.   :D
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Lordinquisitor

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Re: Stuck in a Rut
« Reply #1 on: December 31, 2009, 01:03:45 pm »

7 sons? That`s an omen.

Kill your baroness and her consort and split your whole fortress into 7 equal parts. Bonus points if every son gets one of the starting 7.

The girl toss in some pit. Maybe feed her from time to time.
« Last Edit: December 31, 2009, 01:08:08 pm by Lordinquisitor »
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Beanchubbs

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Re: Stuck in a Rut
« Reply #2 on: December 31, 2009, 02:15:40 pm »

Train all the sons to be legendary each with a different weapon, and have them be the leaders of your military. Then assign them squads of dwarves using the same weapons as each son. So one will be a macelord with a squad of mace dwarves, etc. etc.

I agree with Lordinquisitor in just tossing the daughter into a pit.
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Yikes, the Orcs have a nasty language.  Traditional foreplay would be right out for them; how would they ever "say my name" for one another?  No wonder Ocrs are always so bloodthirsty and violent, they're getting sub-par action.

monk12

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Re: Stuck in a Rut
« Reply #3 on: December 31, 2009, 02:28:01 pm »

It's a good BAD thing we don't have successions yet.  My current Baroness Consort has given birth to 7 sons and only 1 daughter.  Imagine 7 sons contending for the title of the next Baron.   :D


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SkyRender

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Re: Stuck in a Rut
« Reply #4 on: December 31, 2009, 02:51:54 pm »

I propose that all Western cultural beliefs should be defied and the daughter should become the next Baroness, while the seven sons are forced to serve as her personal guard.  Nothing like a little reverse sexism to balance the scales a bit.
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xdarkcodex

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Re: Stuck in a Rut
« Reply #5 on: December 31, 2009, 06:34:05 pm »

I like Beanchubbs's idea.
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snaggles

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Re: Stuck in a Rut
« Reply #6 on: December 31, 2009, 09:22:08 pm »

Trap all eight into a small room (5x5 maybe) and drop in alcohol and food when needed.
Whichever one marries his sister wins and becomes the new Baron. The losers and the old Baron and Baroness get executed (magma, spikes, left to the goblins, etc.)
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IronyOwl

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Re: Stuck in a Rut
« Reply #7 on: January 01, 2010, 01:35:08 am »

I like Beanchubbs' idea. Alternatively, start a new fort, hacking each starting dwarf's name and gender to that of one of the seven baronlings.
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Kinoko_Otoko

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Re: Stuck in a Rut
« Reply #8 on: January 01, 2010, 02:30:53 am »

Whichever one marries his sister

Wow

that just takes things to a whole new level of dwarf
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Beanchubbs

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Re: Stuck in a Rut
« Reply #9 on: January 01, 2010, 02:59:10 am »

However, if you would like to spare the daughter, you could make her legendary in armoring and weaponsmithing to supply her brothers with legendary equipment, with which they will smite they dwarfs' enemies and lead the kingdom into glory and magma.
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Yikes, the Orcs have a nasty language.  Traditional foreplay would be right out for them; how would they ever "say my name" for one another?  No wonder Ocrs are always so bloodthirsty and violent, they're getting sub-par action.

Cruxador

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Re: Stuck in a Rut
« Reply #10 on: January 01, 2010, 05:19:08 am »

Combine Beanchubb's idea with Skyrender's idea.

snaggles' idea won't work; marriages check for incest.
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Inkster

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Re: Stuck in a Rut
« Reply #11 on: January 01, 2010, 06:23:14 am »

Rather, have the daughter become the fortress champion (The single appointed dwarf said to be in the new version). For the sons, follow beanchubbs' idea.
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