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[Itnetlolor]

My dad came to visit today.

It was nice. I got a card from him, which I'm sure he wasn't aware, was one of the most awesome ones I have ever received.

Spoiler: Wouldn't you agree? (click to show/hide)

I think it's code. Feel free to interpret.

1- Build trap
-Use a cage; any will do.
2- Bait trap with valuable.
-+booze+ maybe? But wouldn't that attract dwarves instead?
3- When trap goes off, run away.
-The Elf will try to eat you.
4- Take trap outside to release Elf...
-Gab ears and hammer-toss them until they sever off the head. Watch as the Elf falls into magma or another more elaborate trap.

[Shade-o]

HOW TO:

• Get Rid of Unwanted Elves
• Treat Miasma Inhalation
• Burn Obnoxious Goblins
• Trade Stone Mugs

This seems like prime material for a series of Orthoclaus-distributed holiday cards... but with Dorfmas so close, will his workshop of enslaved elves be able to produce them on time?

[Draco18s]

I fell in love with the Worst Case Survival guides.  I've got travel and includes things like how to catch fish without a rod, line, hook, or sinker to how to say "Hello, I've been seriously wounded" in five languages (I wonder if they're all as formal as they are in English--I tried it on my Spanish teacher in High School and nearly gave her a heart attack) to how to get water when stranded in the jungle (banana trees, IIRC).

[Itnetlolor]

I fell in love with the Worst Case Survival guides.  I've got travel and includes things like how to catch fish without a rod, line, hook, or sinker to how to say "Hello, I've been seriously wounded" in five languages (I wonder if they're all as formal as they are in English--I tried it on my Spanish teacher in High School and nearly gave her a heart attack) to how to get water when stranded in the jungle (banana trees, IIRC).

Oh, that's simple. Grow a beard, and use it.

Careful around the carp though.

Maybe a thread of one can be made for Fortresses and Adventurers alike.

[carebear]

Ha awesome! 

[Shzar]

I dare say "Boot Obnoxious Houseguests" sounds like it could give good advice dealing with certain members of the nobility. You know, magma plumbing and all that.