This is partly my fault...but then again, they didn't have to eat there!
(BTW, if you have a detailed writeup try and add a title-adds to the humor)
How to Serve Dwarf Spider:
In a LL mod map, it turned out there were at least 6 GIANT shadow spiders revealed in the first spring. Now, three of them set up shop...directly above and to the right of my wagon. At first, since they weren't directly on top of my wagon, I ignored them-they ignored the cat that found them, so I assumed they would ignore my dwarves. And they did, for a short time. Then they got hungry. Right as my dwarves did. With all 7 dwarves on the wagon, it must haved seemed to the hungry arachnids that they were being served a meal on a plate. They made straight for the wagon. The dwarves, realizing their situation, scrammed, keeping in mind the ageless advice "You don't have to outrun the giant spider: you just have to outrun the other guy". With the loss of a carpeneter and a furncae operator, the spiders appeared to be sated, and i immediately ordered my dwarves to move all food to a stockpile i had set up inside the entrance. Do they realize the urgency of this task? No. Instead...with all the brilliance of a brain dead elf-goblin halfbreed, they conclude it would be safer to continue eating, right back at the wagon...right under the three giant shadow spiders. The shadow spiders, naturally, took them up on the invitation for dinner, and happily ate them, their chickens, the cats, and the last of the pack animals after a short chase. Now i know why those seven were sent from the mountain homes-they weren't just the most disposable, they needed to be disposed of before they killed everybody in the fort!
Edit: The poll will run for one week, then I will close it.