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[Argonnek]

Maybe they were kicked off the cliff by horses

[alway]

When I tried to pump all the water from an aquifer. All it did was drop my FPS to about 5.

[a.random.persona]

So I start a new fortress in a map with a magma pipe and a major river on the same level. I then proceed to dig out several pits to facilitate the production of obisidan. I release the water into the first pit, the magma into the third. Suddenly a cat notices some vermin in the middle pit. I releast the magma and water, the cat kills the vermin, my legendary craftdwarf who is taking a break decides to move vermin into refuse pit. I mark the vermin as forbidden, but fail to notice that there is another vermin corpse below it. My Craftdwarf enters the pit and is instantly killed by the magma and water forming obisidan around his body.
The game then Proceeds to crash.

[alway]

Just experienced another. A kobold stole my only axe, so I cannot cut any wood. Luckily I have magma furnaces so I can forge another... But it really delays my bed making process (I need about 30 of them to make rooms for all my dwarfs).

[Flying Carcass]

Yesterday I dug a channel around my trade post while a human caravan was there. I then siezed all the goods that caravan had and then let the humans go on their way... only they wouldn't leave... so I decided to dig out the ground below them to get them to leave [the mortal plane of existance  ]. Sure enough, the ground caved in on top of my miner, killing him and sending his friends and family into a fit. However, the human caravan did not fall into the pit... their wagon somehow managed to hover over it and remained there until I gave up the fort! 
Dwarf Fortress: You will believe a wagon can fly!

[geoduck]

I just belatedly learned that you can have more than one lava tube on the same map. I was wondering why I was getting fire imp messages when the very first thing I did was was dig a channel around the top of lava tube #1. Try to remember to check out the whole map from now on..

[Flying Carcass]

Speaking of fire imps...

During an "epic" showdown between my dwarf militia and a nefarious gang of fire imps that had occupied the surface, pandemonium broke out as valiant, cowardly, and incompetant dwarves alike all charged at the mighty fire imp gang... one-by-one... tactics and all that  ...

Anyway, the battle wasn't going so well, what with the fire imps chucking fire balls and setting the forest on fire. I could not help but think "wtf" as some of my dwarves, as they fled their menacing fire imp assailant, ran right into a wall of fire! 

Alas, the would-be-mighty fortress of "Drenchedbreeches" fell that woeful day!

[Neruz]

I just belatedly learned that you can have more than one lava tube on the same map. I was wondering why I was getting fire imp messages when the very first thing I did was was dig a channel around the top of lava tube #1. Try to remember to check out the whole map from now on..

You can't have more than 1 Magma Pipe, but you can have a Magma Pipe and a Magma Pool.

The Pools tend to have more monsties in them too; despite being less useful

[Argonnek]

I started a fort without paying much attention to the map, I later learned that there were no dwarven civs of any kind. I immediately pulled up my drawbridge and started, armok help me, WANTING migrants to come and help lessen the workload of my current seven. wtf?

[Albedo]

Very first thing I did was was dig a channel around the top of lava tube #1. Try to remember to check out the whole map from now on..

Yeah, generically they're called "magma vents" or just "vents".

Easily spotted with a glance at the pre-embark Local map.

[Drakis]

a WTF moment i had recently (also somewhat of an 'oh dear god' moment)...   mother holding twins goes fey metalsmith...   runs to claim the magma forge that is flashing in and out of operation cause the pit is still filling for it...   goes beserk and procedes to rip both babies limb from limb before any soldiers can get to her and put her down...

[Kidiri]

I started a fort without paying much attention to the map, I later learned that there were no dwarven civs of any kind. I immediately pulled up my drawbridge and started, armok help me, WANTING migrants to come and help lessen the workload of my current seven. wtf?

Breed. Breed fast and hard.