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[ephrion]

Sorry if there's a place for this, but I haven't seen it, and I thought it should be shared...

(8:16:07 PM) Matt Parsons: I got goblin ambushed, and most of my military was fucking around drinking and sleeping
(8:16:17 PM) Matt Parsons: except for a champion swordsdwarf and a single marksdwarf
(8:16:25 PM) Matt Parsons: the marksdwarf was a mother who was carrying her baby around
(8:16:37 PM) Matt Parsons: the champion fucking annihilates the entire southern ambush squad
(8:16:44 PM) Matt Parsons: like, tears them all apart in 5 seconds
(8:16:58 PM) Matt Parsons: the final enemy, an elf spearman, got knocked back like 15 squares
(8:17:12 PM) Matt Parsons: Anyway the marksdwarf kills like 6 goblins but then runs out of bolts
(8:17:15 PM) Robby: holy shit
(8:17:20 PM) Matt Parsons: so she THROWS THE FUCKING INFANT AS A WEAPON AND KILLS A GOBLIN
(8:17:28 PM) Robby: WHAT THE FUCK
(8:17:29 PM) Matt Parsons: and then proceeds to beat the rest of them to death with her crossbow
(8:17:34 PM) Matt Parsons: most epic battle EVER
(8:17:44 PM) Robby: oh my god, ahahahaha
(8:17:50 PM) Robby: Did it kill the child?
(8:18:07 PM) Matt Parsons: oh yeah
(8:18:10 PM) Matt Parsons: but she's still ecstatic
(8:18:16 PM) Matt Parsons: "Took joy in slaughter recently"

[Simmura McCrea]

That's... Dwarvenly epic. I've never heard of someone throwing their kid in battle. A good way of keeping population down.

[Michaelsoftman]

Did she throw the baby or shoot it at the Goblin with her crossbow?

[WhatDoesThisLeverDo]

I am pretty sure this board is where AWESOME STORIES like this are told.

Fan-tastic. It just bleeds Dwarfishness.

[ephrion]

Did she throw the baby or shoot it at the Goblin with her crossbow?

New experiment:  Can crossbows shoot babies? 

Maybe something to do after I'm done with my magma cannon...

[Michaelsoftman]

Did she throw the baby or shoot it at the Goblin with her crossbow?

New experiment:  Can crossbows shoot babies? 

Maybe something to do after I'm done with my magma cannon...

You must also determine if babies deal Piercing damage and can get stuck in the goblins, or if they just bludgeon them.

[Limul Thak]

I think that a dwarven mother has every right an obligation to use children to hurt other people! It's perfectly patriotic for dwarves to bludgeon the scourges to death with THEIR OWN INFANTS!

If I were in her place, I'd use the nearest infant to bludgeon every non-dwarf in the room. I wouldn't stop at the goblins and elves.

[Tormy]

I am pretty sure this board is where AWESOME STORIES like this are told.

Fan-tastic. It just bleeds Dwarfishness.

Agreed. 

[tomas1297]

Make engravings now.If youre lucky...

[Randominality]

Now if only I could somehow feed all the countesses babies into this ballista pointing at her bed...

[Vilien]

Babies should be allowed to be used as ballista ammo. Someone suggest this right away.

[worldspawn]

Everytime I click on one of these threads I'm expecting "so my lone champion killed 8 goblins wow" and everytime I'm treated to something like this instead. yay