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[Nyxalinth]

Well, human merchants, anyway.

i got my first goblin ambush ever just as i was getting my first ballistae set up. (Yup, I'm a noob.) .  i thought 'Oh crap, I wasn't ready!' but steele myself for the inevitable bloody conflict. They killed my fisherdwarf, and some glassmaker guy (no big loss, i have no sand), as i hurried to try to finish assembling the ballistae.

A human caravan arrives and wipes out all but one with their guards. My axe dwarf knocks the last one into next week. Well, his upper half went into next week, the lower stayed where he whacked him.

On the one hand, I was sort of glad, but on the other hand i was terribly annoyed at my dwarves being deprived of battle, win or lose.

Anyone else have this happen? I'm guessing so, but tell me your glorious stories so I can enjoy them vicariously

[CynicalRyan]

Actually, yes. Except it was a dwarf caravan that did it for me. Discovered the ambush by themselves, too.

To boot, while my military was chasing the lone survivor or the gobbo ambush, the leading dwarf ran into an abush all for himself. Needless to say, the gobbo spears made dwarf kebap out of the wrestler, but not without heroically (and madatoryly) taking out on of the gobbos.

My hammerdwarf caught up, and pounded the remaining gobbos into the ground. Earned him a title, even.

[Albedo]

My axe dwarf knocks the last one into next week. Well, his upper half went into next week, the lower stayed where he whacked him.

Heh, and that's how axes should work!

[Enzo]

Dwarf and Human caravan have saved my forts many a time in the second year. Elves, however, seem content to just walk calmly into the most dangerous area of the map without considering that their weapons and armor are made of wood, and currently stored on their mule. I've had elf caravans slaughtered by everything. It's hilarious.

OP: As advice, set up a chokepoint for your entrance and lay traps before building siege equipment. Easier and more practical. In fact, almost everything in DF is easier and more practical than using siege equipment.

[Blakmane]

Easier and more practical.

Blasphemy! You are no Dwarf! 

[ElChad]

Pretty much my latest fortress is in a much bigger and insane area than I am normally used to. (Usually I stick to 2x2 with a Magma Pipe, so danger is a rarity) I was setting up the walls of my battlments with expendable auxilery masons when one of them (a dyer) ended up living up to his purpose being struck down after being attacked by a Giant Bat who enjoys killing my stray workers and now decided my mattlements would make a fine place to hang out for a good while. Fustrated, I sent out my markdwarf to dispose of this threat from my work in progress sniper tower. He gets 1 z level above the Bat, and begins to shoot down. The Giant Bat, knowning his next prey is only 2 z levels up,a few squares forward, and 1 z level down goes for it. I watch the dwarf fire constantly into this Bat as it flies up and over the tower walls. As it gets right above the Dwarf, it ends up dying. The kicker is, the Dwarf had no more ammo after. Lucky bugger...

[Kishmond]

Thankfully the human merchants didn't kill the first dragon I ever had. However, their booze did catch on fire, killing three quarters of my military when they stupidly tried to run through it. So I'd rather fight these guys on my own. Besides, even sieges aren't a problem when you've got 10 champion wrestlers.

[ElChad]

A funny little p.s to my story, I noticed that in my moat that connects to the stream, the auxilary mason's head. What's even funnier and boggling is that the whole moat is splattered in blood and it seems to go up stream (not down stream) for a good distance...

[yggiz]

I hate it when the goblins beat the wagons to death way out in the wilderness. Sure, I could take all their lousy junk, but how many rope reed ropes with images of circles on them do I need?

A great one though, is when kobold thieves or goblin snatchers appear on the road as the wagons are leaving. The wagon driver merchant enters wrestle combat color flashing, but never stops leaving the map. It looks like the goblin is run down in the road by the wagon, trampled, and his mangled body gives up after the fourth wagon runs him down. It looks awesome when it happens!

[Leafsnail]

Yep, happened to me too.  The ground was littered with the bones of humans and goblins.  The last 3 made a run at my entrance door, missed, and got mauled to death by one of the 4 war dogs who was chained up there.  The dog bled to death shortly afterwards.  The statue of the "Unknown Wardog" stands proudly in my cemetary.

[Skorpion]

Well, I got a human caravan caught in a siege once.

They took out two wagons, the rest fled, and all the guards bought the farm.
Then I sent in my military to mop up. I have more anvils than I know what to do with. One forge, four magma forges, and I have spares.

[Airpi]

I usually like it when caravans help out with stuff like that, but the last site I was on was this frozen wasteland with a cave and a legendary giant. It murdered all fifteen or so of my first migrant wave when they happened to show up right next to him. It was awesome. Then a season later one human swordsman cuts it in half. Fffff.