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[Asheron]

And then, John was a zombie.
This surpised him. He isn't familiar with being a zombie. Perhaps a lich, but not a zombie!
John continued trekking through the lake, towards the house. He noticed the water was a lot wetter then usual.
He had never wondered why someone would ever build a house in the middle of a lake in South-Africa. Bored, John looked up and tried to catch as many snowflakes with his face as possible. In the end, he laughed. "I win."
John entered the house.

[Squeegy]

["Only to find their dead son on the floor, dead on the floor."
Brilliant!]

Better would be:

"Only to find the dead body of their son's dead, deceased corpse, dead on the floor."

[Cheeetar]

But then he saw a goat, and decided to ride it. John liked goats. John was originally from a town called Mugicaliner which is in the north of Canada because John is Canadian and his dad said 'you have to become famous son and live up to me' so John said 'ok yeah I'll do that' so John left Mugicaliner and went to the USA to become famous but he was shot at and killed and then revived and that's how he's here today, at this house, trying to become famous.

[sonerohi]

After succesfully mounting the goat, John rode it all the way to the house that was there, where he had ridden to, that he was at. He decided on how this house would make him famous, and so he strtaed unzipping his pants.

[Cheeetar]

But just a John started to become famous he looked at his favourite David Hasselhoff underpants. They were given to her by his Canadian mother before he died and she wore them every day as an luck charm because deep down John is a very sensitive person with a extensive backstory and an dead parent.