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[Dasleah]

The RAAAAAAGE! Game is simple. Go to a popular review site that allows for contributions by Joe Public - like Amazon, for example. Then, find the worst review of one of your favourite things (movies, games, books, whatever), and then find the best review of one of your most hated things in all existence. If they're short, then post them up here. If not, then simply posts links. The aim of the game is to discover the much rage-worthy reviews, and have much laughs over them.

Please note that the point of this thread is not to argue and bicker over people's taste in things - rather, it's a place where we can all rage and laugh about humanity's never-ending ability to surprise itself with its own stupidity.

I'll get the ball rolling. One of my favourite movies is Paradise Now, a movie about suicide bombings. Here's the most rage-worthy One-Star Review from Amazon:

This movie makes these terrorists out to be martyres. They are not. They are cowards who blow up innocent people. I thought we were supposed to be opposed to terrorists. The information on this page says this is set in Palestine. When I last looked on a map or atlas, there is no country called Palastine. I don't recommend this movie to anyone. Your money would be better spent on almost anything else.

The same reviewer rages at Missy Higgins for singing in an 'Irish' accent 

And here's a 5-Star Review for Norbitt:

in "norbit" edie murphies wife is a big fat b***. he is also a china man. and a nerd (that one is norbit). this movie is funny because edie murphy is always trying to make love w/ edie murfy and eddie murphey doesnt' want two. i wish there was a movie with like 6 EDDIE MURRAYS (wait there is--it is called the THE KLUMPS :-) my favorite part is when rasputinia gets murdered and all those children start laughing and then norbit goes away and marries the other lady who is hot and not fat and not eddie murphy.

So there we go. Rage away Remember - the more they make you hate and laugh, the better.

[Idiom]

System Shock 2:

I tried this game and hated it. you start of awaking from cryosleep to find aliens have taken over. we need an new storyline for games.

this game is so hard it will have you spending your gaming time screaming at the computer.

if you want a good game go for unreal tortament

Spore:

I've never played this game, but it's great. It's one of the greatest games I've never played in my life. The graphics are great, the control is great, the creatures are great, everything about it is great.

Buy this game!

[Neonivek]

I've never played this game, but it's great. It's one of the greatest games I've never played in my life. The graphics are great, the control is great, the creatures are great, everything about it is great.

Buy this game!

HOLY COW!!! That is one of the worst reviews I ever seen in my life! Talk about Fan hype. (And I love spore... so that tells you something)

[Cthulhu]

Clive Barker's Jericho(I don't understand why this game was so brutally beaten by essentially everyone, it was very entertaining)

Wow what to say? Repeative encounters where enemies spawn 10 times or more from the same spot. Squad AI is simply lacking and merely spray and prays. Bland level design with small pathways from point A to B. Awful reaction mini games where you have to push buttons in sequence to progress through the cut scene. Speaking of which, currently I am STUCK on the crusades (second) level and unable to finish the game since the reaction game is bugged. My options are to either PAY MONEY for a cheat code for my copy of the game which will bypass the reaction event. Or I can possibly tweak my graphics card and hope the event works correctly. I am utterly aghast at this abomination of a game. not only is it a shooter on a rail but it insults you by forcing encounters of kill X enemies until you can pass. Not only does your squad do nothing to protect themselves or avoid splash damage. The biggest gripe is they are trying to milk this filth by forcing you to buy the cheat codes. BUY THE CHEAT CODES, for some people like myself we are having to bypass a infinite loop reaction cut scene or we cant progress. They expect us to pay for a code to bypass this ensuring a couple of dollars extra on top of the price. Remember who made this and remember how bland and bug infested it was. Dont forgot how they try to use buggy scenes and overly hard sections to generate cash through a pay to cheat system. Most of all remember to not support barginware gussied up with a famous persons name. P.S. Why couldn't this have been more like Undying? WHY?

Halo 3

I laugh at all the negative comments of this game. This game is almost the grounds for all FPS to come.. Notice how all these FPS are starting to use mechanics that Halo uses? This game easily deserves an 8-10. There's really only about 3 reasons why someone would give this game a 0.. 1. Someone who only owns a PS3 and despises the fact that it's not on the console 2. You're just Anti-Halo 3. You thought this was going to be the second coming of Jesus.. I can guarantee you if this was multi-platform, almost every comment on here would be 8-10.. seriously folks, you are truly pathetic.

[Idiom]

Shoot for funnier negative reviews. Like my tortament fan of a reviewer.

[Fualkner]

Pink Floyd - Dark Side of the Moon:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

I really detest Pink Floyd. This is one of the lousiest albums ever made in the history of rock music. I never liked Pink Floyd and I almost fell asleep one day when I heard this, this is just noise! Anyone who likes them needs to see a doctor. This is just boring sleep music. Even Neil Young's Greatest Hits has much better music than this. This has two of the lousiest songs ever like Us And Them and Time. Don't make the mistake of buying this boring album, get any of these albums insted.

METALLICA
Ride The Lightning
Load
Black Album
Master Of Puppets
...And Justice For All

MARK KNOPFLER SOLO STUFF
The Ragpicker's Dream
Sailing To Philadelphia

FOREIGNER
Foreigner 4

GREEN DAY
American Idiot
Warning

REM
Best Of R.E.M

TOM PETTY
The Last DJ


Forget dirty bands like Pink Floyd and Led Zeppelin who suck and are meant for people with a poor taste. Metallica and Green Day are meant for people with good taste.

American Idiot, better then the best album of all time? ... And he insults Led Zep at the end. What. the. hell.

Eragon (The movie)

Excellent special effects!!! Good story! Well-presented! If you like fantasy, you will like this movie! Good and evil at war again! Where's my popcorn? Sometimes--on the edge of your seat! Don't cheer so loud--other people can't hear the movie!!!

For those who criticize this film I say...lighten up! Let the simple joy of a simple story about good versus evil take over. All the elements are there: beautiful scenery, attractive hero and heroine, lovable dragon, evil antagonists, and victory for what is good. I found myself letting go of my jaded critical sense and becoming a child again, at least for the duration of the movie. Surely, the heart can overpower the intellect in the cause of art...at least once in a while. The story was written by a young man for those who can share his child-like spirit. I had no problem doing this. I loved the movie. My wife did not care for the film. So what? Let those who can do so recapture their childhood again and enjoy a beautiful experience. Let's face it, any dragon with the voice of a young woman can't be all bad. Enjoy!

Those last few sentences made me rage the most. Anyone judging a movie off of how it looks, or how stereotypical it is hasn't read enough. Anyone who has read over... 5 books is tired of repetitive storylines.

[Strife26]

I agree about Eragon the movie. I personally sort of liked the book (It's sort of nice to have the definitive- This is basic high fantasy - thing going). My major problem with the movie was the non-trueness of it. The removed two thirds of the plot. Changed most of the setting. Ignored all of the characters except for Earagon, Saphira, and the Elf. Ignored the interesting parts and took out anything to complex for a peson who couldn't even finish Redwall (call it for 7 and up). Other than that, it was a perfect movie for those who don't want depth and didn't read the book (so that they don't know what they were missing).

The second book was okay although not as good as the first. Oh my, the evil guy is actually, <omited> I predicted it (and told several people) in the first chapter.

Has anyone read the third novel yet?
Is it still (snicker) novel?

[Okenido]

A review for Doom 2:

i think its jus like the old doom it gets very boring after awhile and the 2d graphips on the monsters arent to good either

I am not kidding...

[Qmarx]

I don't even like Eragon, but this is the best worst 1 star review I've seen

I'm not just trying to make a shameless plug, but I can say without being arrogant that my book, Dragons: Lexicon Triumvirate beats Aragorn (oh, I'm sorry, ERAGON), in every conceivable way. I did my usual sci fi novel treatment on eragon -- read the backmatter and speed read some chapters -- and I have found nothing or artistic or intellectual value. And nothing of entertainment value either. I'm not pissed like some people are that such rubbish got published (after all, editors are only human), but I should declare --

-- stop getting all sucked into the hype and see this book for what is really is.

Okay let's compare Dragons: Lexicon Triumvirate to Aragorn (I mean, eragon). One has cyborg dragons fighting in the Middle Ages. The other is about a boy with a destiny (wow, I've never seen that before! *cough* every fantasy novel ever published *cough*). One has a high level of epistemelogical and metaphysical musings. The other has--well, who are we kidding, eragon's got nothing. One has extraordinary fight sequences and a phenomenal array of creatures like Technoknights, Technodragons and dragons made of dark fire. The other just has a blue dragon.

You make the decision.

[Foa]

This is a forums I like, and had recently registered to it, and the is barely anyone there that can fix my dilemma, and I can only communicate via a scarcely used shoutbox.

Sorry, you do not have permission to reply to that topic   

And I can't e-mail them.

Sorry, you are not permitted to send an email via this board   

Or PM anyone...

You are not allowed to use the messenger feature on this board   

I hate right infringement.

[McDoomhammer]

Uhhh... Read the original post.  Also, forum functionality is not a right.

[Fualkner]

Uhhh... Read the original post.  Also, forum functionality is not a right.

Nor are opinions either right nor wrong, yet we rage about them too. It is the RAAAGE! Game, he can rage about something else if he wants.

[chaoticag]

Palistine is not a country? I don't know whether to laugh at his stupidity, or smite him for his ignorance.