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[Tormy]

Really the only problem with nobles is the hammerer. Prison time generally isn't that bad and its usually pretty short, and in a large fort you'll barely notice the imprisoned dwarves unless you have an extremely specialized population.

But when you have a noble who demands new adamantine socks every day, and starts executing random dwarves when you fail to accomplish the impossible, then things just get absurd. Letting the noble continue to have dwarves executed for impossible demands is a surefire way to destroy your fort, nor is it realistic for all but the most utterly insane leaders.

I agree 100%, and IIRC this has been brought up quite numerous times already. Hopefully Toady will "fix" the mandate system and related to this the hammerer also.

[RogerN]

If you want to make your nobles happy then you need high-quality items for them to admire.  Your queen will get more happy thoughts from a masterpiece mudstone door than from a so-so golden statue in her room, even if the golden statue is worth ten times as much.  Gold and platinum make it easier to increase the value of your nobles' rooms, but expensive materials don't make nobles happy without good craftdwarfship.  Typically your mason is more skilled than your blacksmith due to the scarcity of ore, so stone furniture is appropriate for furnishing nobles.

Have your mason crank out furniture until you can provide your queen with a complete set of masterpieces.  Doors, tables, thrones, armor stands, weapon racks, etc...  Each type of furniture increases your chances of getting happy thoughts.  If you need to add value to her room then you can just dig out a bigger room.

[Hypcso]

It isn't the fact she's unhappy because of low quality/poor items, she's unhappy because she has a grudge against every single dwarf in the fortress and when she " socializes " she incites riots. I haven't let her out of her magnificently appointed bedroom in 5 years to avoid this problem.

[RogerN]

Her furniture may not be a source of unhappy thoughts, but more happy thoughts can offset the unhappy thoughts from grudges.

[Peewee]

Really the only problem with nobles is the hammerer. Prison time generally isn't that bad and its usually pretty short, and in a large fort you'll barely notice the imprisoned dwarves unless you have an extremely specialized population.

But when you have a noble who demands new adamantine socks every day, and starts executing random dwarves when you fail to accomplish the impossible, then things just get absurd. Letting the noble continue to have dwarves executed for impossible demands is a surefire way to destroy your fort, nor is it realistic for all but the most utterly insane leaders.

I don't think even Hitler or Stalin executed people for failing to do the obviously impossible. Some were punished with less severe things, such as prison time, but about the closest thing I could recall was Stalin's system of commissars who would execute "cowards" who failed to break superior German defensive lines.

Having to drag up a battlefield WW2 situation to come even close to daily life in a dwarven fortress seems to indicate that dwarven justice needs to be revamped.

Less executions and beatings, more jailtime. Or fines, when the economy kicks in. Perhaps a fine could be severe enough to reduce a dwarf's bank account to 0 as well as remove all owned items from him.

Godwin's law!

Also, you were REALLY unlucky with the queen. I'd put the dwarves she has a grudge with into the same room with her via airlock, so she can vent her frustration with more fistfights.

[Skizelo]

Can Queens get arrested?

[Yanlin]

Can Queens get arrested?

Yes.

Edit: Sorry, thought you said queers.

Anyhway... In real life, yes. A queen can be arrested.

In DF, you can only execute her. Dwarves don't like jails but adore the death sentence due to Armok.

[Granite26]

I think that's part of the simulation though... you've got to decide when to overthrow your rulers and replace them with new ones.  The fact that you MUST have new ones, and that they are likely to be just as bad as the old ones...   That just means DF is a dark and satyrical game.

[Skizelo]

In DF, you can only execute her. Dwarves don't like jails but adore the death sentence due to Armok.

It just seems very dwarfy for cheesemakers to be arrested for bruising a noble's fist.

[MathijsBuster]

"She enjoyed starting a fistfight recently."

I love the mental image of a Queen running through a corridor royally punching random people in the face.

[Mephansteras]

Well, she'll automatically like her husband and children. Did they show up with her? If they did you can just lock all of them in a compound, and she'll get happy thoughts from talking with them.

If not...I don't know. See if you can find a few dwarves with only a few personality traits and see if any of them match hers. Make them her Royal guard, so she interacts with them a lot. Or make them live in servants in her compound. Give her a statue garden with masterwork statues (of whatever type), and let them hang around each other being friends until the airlock is opened to give new food/booze/items for her to enjoy. The servant can then run around hauling stuff for a bit to bring it all inside before going back to being her pet.


If that doesn't work, I guess the high quality items in her room is the best you can do. Especially since she doesn't have any preferences. On the bright side, without any likes she probably won't be giving you many mandates.

[Hypcso]

No demands/mandates in the 4 years i've had her. She also came with no family or nobles of any kind. Nor did they show up later. The only purple fellow i've had show up since her, is a Dungeon Master ( who also recently just married, I wasn't aware nobles that arrive could marry ) She seems pretty content locked in her room, though.. So I think i'll keep her there.

[Dr. Von Uristein]

No mandates, happy to be confined to quaters, not pumping out noble larvae... Sounds like a nearly ideal noble to me.