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[XmasApe]

Realizing I had somehow trapped my miner at the bottom of a ramp and that she was starving to death trying to catch vermin in a 1x1 patch of black sand. I dug her out, but she died of starvation...in the dining room, ten paces from food.

At least she was ecstatic when she died...probably due to the freshness of a new love between her and the farmer.

 

Her profile says she likes stars, so I think I'll put her in a glass coffin under the open sky. Any suggestions?

Build her a funerary tower, at least as high as the ramp was long, so she can be closer to the night sky forever.
Then rig it so you can knock it down on some goblins.

[LumenPlacidum]

Realizing I had somehow trapped my miner... Her profile says she likes stars

Now there was an excellent choice of skills to preferences!

[mossomo]

What's the most tragic thing your fortress has ever experienced?

I get a message that a baby has died.  I find its corpe in a well.  A few seconds later, the mother cancels work, searching for child.  You know what happens next, she falls into the well and drowns too.

Lastnight a Bronze Colossus showed up with a thing for cats.  It chased my cats (ignoring everyone/everything else) around the entire map.  Finally he'd catch them and stomp em to death.  My last count was over thirty dead, I had cat corpes all over my map.  And we didnt have kitten stew for over a year.

But I did make a nice addition to my zoo.

[BradB]

Sorry for bringing up an old thread but this one is too funny to let die. 

After my first ever goblin raid, my original population of 75 went down to 23.
Blood was everywhere in the main entrance, corpses were strewn all over the place creating miasma clouds through the busiest part of my fortress... "He/She witnessed the decomposition of a friend lately" was a common thing too. About 5 dorfs were left wounded got put in bed (where they were neglected ). 

This was quite bad, but afterwards was worse.
All the miasma and decomposing friends lying about made near half the remaining dorfs melancholy....
The emo's then began jumping down my entrance pit (bridge over channels)
This pit was still under construction and 1 z-level deep, then a floor (soon to be channeled), then a big drop underneath.
Emo's proceeded to jump down 1 z and climb straight back up the staris to do it again, this wasn't working so I ordered a non-emo miner to dig a channel where they were landing from their tiny fall...  The channel dug through the top z level, exposing a 7 level drop below, no emo dorfies survived more than one drop...  Rather sad, but I got a warm fuzzy feeling knowing that I did the right thing. They wanted to die, so I let them.

My bonecarvers had a fun time that day.

[CrazyEyes]

This isn't as depressing as a lot of the stories you all are telling, but it's still a shitty way to die so I'll share it anyway.

I started a new fortress recently so that I could try a few different things with magma.  Anyway, I painstakingly went through the embark menu (my first time customizing ), picking and choosing what skills I thought I'd need, making sure everyone would be useful starting out as well as being able to keep up once I was established.

Anyway, I embarked, chose a promising-looking hill, and immediately began carving a home out of it, as I dislike staying out in the open any longer than absolutely necessary - and by "absolutely necessary" I mean "the time it takes my miner to walk over and start mining".

Things went well for a year or two.  Building off layout plans from my previous fort, I quickly got individual rooms up and running as well as a few industries, my accomplished masons and carpenters pumping out furniture while my miner busily chipped away, carving out some lower-level storerooms.  The area I was mining was comprised mostly of marble, which, combined with the quality of the furniture and rooms, attracted a full wave of 20 immigrants in the first wave.

My fort was doing well, and I had big plans for it.  I'd gotten a metal industry up and running, smelting whatever ore I could find and get from caravans.  My infrastructure was holding its own, I had a farm up and producing more than enough food, and my miners (I got another one in a migration) were busy digging a channel halfway across the map and down a couple z-levels to get fresh drinking water into my fort.

Only... I'd gotten so enthusiastic about the inside of my fort, I forgot entirely about the outside.  I had no military, and no defenses to speak of save for two marble doors between the heart of my fortress and the outside world.  (I'd been planning a magmafall + magma moat + iron drawbridge as soon as I had the metal, but it wasn't anywhere near constructed yet.)  So when a kitten who happened to be wandering outside spotted the goblin ambushers, I thought I was absolutely hosed.  I ordered all my dwarves inside and activated the only defense I had - I flagged the doors leading out as forbidden and waited for the ambushers to go away.

I'm not sure if they eventually did or not.  What I am sure of is that 36 hardy dwarves burn through alcohol fast, and without me realizing they drank it all down in a month.  Time passed, and I got sidetracked doing something else.  When I got back, I forgot that I'd forbidden the doors.  I went about playing, designating expansions and improvements.

By the time I realized what happened and opened the doors, 27 of my 36 dwarves, including the entire founding 7, were dead from thirst.  The rest made a mad dash for the partially-constructed channel.  Three more died en-route, leaving me with only six dwarves, most of which were useless (soap maker, lye maker, dyer, etc.).  Rather than trying to salvage the fortress, I abandoned it, knowing that the remaining dwarves would probably have just tantrumed to death.

I like to pretend that they went back to the Mountainhome, never to leave again.  I just find it sad that so many dwarves died and a promising fortress had to be abandoned because:

A) One stupid mistake on my part
B) Not one single dwarf, despite slowly wasting away from thirst, would dare cross the threshold of a forbidden door, even to save their own lives.

[Lightman]

That was some of the funniest pitchblack humor I've seen since I played Portal and discovered that the cake was a lie!

Lies. I seen it.