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Author Topic: Dwarven Theology  (Read 1019 times)

Cajoes

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Dwarven Theology
« on: July 17, 2008, 08:11:06 am »

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Some random amphitheater, dwarfenhomes. Senior Philosopher McDwarf has the podium.
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Now, ask any young dwarf whom the true higher power is and he'll probably name dozens of deamons and deities or even dragons of varying spheres of influence, but over all of these looms Armok: God of Blood. More on him later. What few know is that while Armok is omnipresent, he did not create the world. There is a far older being, whose avatar we cannot even fathom, but whom I personally believe is Amphibian in nature. - Now before you burn me on the stake for heresy, allow me to reiterate this is merely heresay and vague hypothesis sprung from numerous forays into ancient ruins and archeological sites...


But that is a topic for another page, now we speculate over the nature of Armok. We know for certain he's the god of Blood, a very admirable domain for certain, but many misunderstands it as ravenous bloodlust. Which has all sorts of negative connections, such as war, genocide, archaic blood sacrifice rituals, the elves in particular have been accused of Armok worship only for their tendency to not let good meat go to waste. Blood is vital for us to live, it flows within us constantly, it rushes in our limbs as we go to war as any warrior know. It boils in our veins when our moods strike. And erm, it certainly makes Missus McDwarf.. um, when it, flows in.. that direction.. *cough*. And we do not take terms such as blood relatives, brothers by blood, or blood oaths lightly. Indeed, these are held sacred in our society. And do we not fear the undead? Whose blood has run cold and still, yet still seek to devour and destroy the living. I have a zombie muskox in my lab and it certainly creeps me out. For they certainly are abominations towards natural order and we seek to destroy them whenever possible, going as far as to set up outposts in the middle of frozen glaciers, where the only thing keeping us alive is our force of will (and many many layers of clothes). Be it by accident, or Armok's divine will?

Now, I am not saying that all is peach blossoms and daffodils with Armok worship, blood will be spilled, sure enough. Copious amounts of it even, be it of thy enemy or your own or even mine! He cares not which. But I would just like to put forth the notion that Armok is not only a god for those drunken frat boys down by the barracks sparring all day while guzzling beer and wearing funny helmets. Or just those shady priests in red robes in the back of this hall. But for all dwarves, young and old.

Some call us slaves to the blood god, well we could just as well be slaves to breathing, or eating, or whatever mood strikes our fancy. He is the life blood of dwarfkind and binds all of dwarf together. Let is embrace our servitude and face tomorrow with pride. And our axe in hand.

Thank you for coming to my theological seminar, my assistants will hand you the engraved granite brochures on temple construction on the way out. If you have any questions, you may find me in my 3x4 tile cell in the prison levels, bring some food.

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Feel free to add your own thoughts on the topic of "higher powers".
Edit: Red'i'tized all of the Armoks, sloth does not excuse inconsistency.
« Last Edit: July 17, 2008, 10:55:19 am by Cajoes »
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Zai

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Re: Dwarven Theology
« Reply #1 on: July 17, 2008, 09:50:46 am »

Would read again/10

You didn't red-itize all the "Armok"s, though.
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penguinofhonor

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Re: Dwarven Theology
« Reply #2 on: July 17, 2008, 10:09:26 am »

Nice. Where's Armok at? He should read this.
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Re: Dwarven Theology
« Reply #3 on: July 17, 2008, 11:33:20 am »

Yes, very true, very true. Something occurred to me a while ago: Blood is only one of the four "humors" We need a god of Black Bile, a god of Yellow Bile, and a god of Phlegm.

Elves get Yellow Bile, Goblins get Black Bile, Kobolds get Phlegm, and Dwarves get Blood.
The humans are too minor to have a special god.
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Sheezy

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Re: Dwarven Theology
« Reply #4 on: July 17, 2008, 01:44:51 pm »

Kobolds worship armok I thought.
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Cajoes

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Re: Dwarven Theology
« Reply #5 on: July 17, 2008, 11:04:42 pm »

Just because they try to steal trinkets from dwarves doesn't make them completely stupid. Just humorously suicidal.

Considering your average kobolds spends most of his life hiding, sneaking, avoiding nigh invisible traps and trying to sneak off with a dwarf's prized possessions (one stole a masterwork crossbow bolt from me once... It was lodged in her leg as she limped across the map border.) knowing that at any second the mighty axe of Poor Career Choice will spray the hallways a pretty shade of red, I would not be surprised if the poor buggers practically sweat adrenaline.

Truly these indeterminable nuisance species are among Armok's most favored. (The fact most kobolds abort the mission upon happening upon the entrance of one of my sites combined with that I'm generally too lazy to place soldiers at the gates at all times and you have a pretty hefty survival ratio actually.)

Haven't they started taking out mega beasts solo as well?

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Quote from: Roman Proverb
Do not argue against the sun. For it is a lot brighter than you are.