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Author Topic: I think I just made a dwarven episode of Law & Order  (Read 758 times)

xarph

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I think I just made a dwarven episode of Law & Order
« on: August 10, 2007, 07:10:00 pm »

The count mandates that three large gems be made. So I set a lever in a lava flood
room, hook it to the floodgates, and set the workshop profile like so:

A few minutes later, soothing pink text. But something wasn't quite right about it. I took a closer look at the announcement log:

THE COUNT SENT HIS MISTRESS TO PULL THE LEVER FOR HIM!

The next dwarf to walk near that room is getting named Lennie Briscoe.

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herrbdog

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Re: I think I just made a dwarven episode of Law & Order
« Reply #1 on: August 10, 2007, 07:59:00 pm »

roofls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I seriously think Toady gave the dwarves the ability to learn. But nothing useful, only how to avoid death when you WANT them dead. Otherwise they only learn how to die when you DON'T want them dead!

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Dreamer

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Re: I think I just made a dwarven episode of Law & Order
« Reply #2 on: August 10, 2007, 08:30:00 pm »

iLOL
:)
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◄Nothing Beats Menacing►
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xarph

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Re: I think I just made a dwarven episode of Law & Order
« Reply #3 on: August 10, 2007, 09:50:00 pm »

quote:
Originally posted by herrbdog:
<STRONG>roofls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I seriously think Toady gave the dwarves the ability to learn. But nothing useful, only how to avoid death when you WANT them dead. Otherwise they only learn how to die when you DON'T want them dead!</STRONG>


Considering this was the SECOND noble to die by pulling that lever... I'm frightened.

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Asehujiko

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Re: I think I just made a dwarven episode of Law & Order
« Reply #4 on: August 11, 2007, 04:13:00 am »

code:
#########
#0#0#0#0#
#+#+#+#+#
.ó.ó.ó.ó.


#=wall
0=bed
+=door
ó=lever

All of the levers are linked up to their respective doors. Once an unwanted dwarf walks in(or is carried in incase of maimed peasants), the door gets locked. For a long time.

For atmosphere, don't re-use these catacombs and build entire rows of them. It's funny to see what adventurers will find when they unlock the doors...

skeletons, clothes and some blue and brown arrows?
ratmen that snuck up there?
treasure carried by the unlucky inhabitant?
a titan that got lost when exploring the fort?

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Tremble, mortal, and despair! Doom has come to this world!
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....E.EE.EEE.EE..EE.EE.E..EEEE..E..E.E...EEE.EEE..E.E..EE

xarph

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Re: I think I just made a dwarven episode of Law & Order
« Reply #5 on: August 14, 2007, 02:05:00 pm »

THE PLOT THICKENS

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4bh0r53n

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Re: I think I just made a dwarven episode of Law & Order
« Reply #6 on: August 14, 2007, 02:10:00 pm »

quote:
THE PLOT THICKENS

next thing you know is that he marries another dwarf (which i know is technically impossible... unless spouses get resent like other nobles)

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.B.H.O.R.S.E.N.: Abhorrent, Bloodthirsty, Hitchhiker-Obliterating Ravager from the Sunless Enchanted Necropolis

I dont explode Cats, its way to hard to coax them into the microwave...

Asehujiko

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Re: I think I just made a dwarven episode of Law & Order
« Reply #7 on: August 14, 2007, 02:38:00 pm »

"I hear you murdered your wife, i'm sending a new one with the next caravan."

Lol

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Tremble, mortal, and despair! Doom has come to this world!
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......E..EE.EE.EE.EE..E...EEEE..E..E.E...EEE.EEE...E.EEE.
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....E.EE.EEE.EE..EE.EE.E..EEEE..E..E.E...EEE.EEE..E.E..EE

KrunkSplein

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Re: I think I just made a dwarven episode of Law & Order
« Reply #8 on: August 15, 2007, 10:06:00 am »

I'm sorry to do this, but it's too true not to:

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frostedfire

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Re: I think I just made a dwarven episode of Law & Order
« Reply #9 on: August 17, 2007, 08:29:00 am »

quote:
Originally posted by xarph:
<STRONG>THE PLOT THICKENS

  </STRONG>


*cue fade in of law-and-order: svu logo*
In the dwarven justice system, some crimes are considered especially heinous, and are of the highest order of punishment to the perpetrators.  These are their stories *koo-koooooohh*

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the spinning bb round hits jack johnson, scumbag in the lower body!
it is pierced through entirely!
his right kidney has been poked out!
his liver has been mangled!

jack johnson, raider has been shot and killed.

The above (including bbcode) neatly weighs in at 255 characters. Fallout meets DF

PresidentEvil

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Re: I think I just made a dwarven episode of Law & Order
« Reply #10 on: August 21, 2007, 07:14:00 pm »

I think the dev page needs a new bloat: DNA Evidence.
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I will mod in plastic as a resource.  I will then tweak the Dwarven civ entry so that coins are only made out of plastic, and are called "credit cards".
I will make dwarves purchase things with bushels of credit cards.  It will be a mockery of both systems.
It will be stupid.  But it will be gloriously stupid.

Arkan15

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Re: I think I just made a dwarven episode of Law & Order
« Reply #11 on: August 21, 2007, 07:58:00 pm »

quote:
Originally posted by PresidentEvil:
<STRONG>I think the dev page needs a new bloat: DNA Evidence.</STRONG>

"...And that's when I tampered with the DNA evidence!"

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IP AND TEAR YOUR GUTS!
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KrunkSplein

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Re: I think I just made a dwarven episode of Law & Order
« Reply #12 on: August 21, 2007, 09:43:00 pm »

I know it has nothing to do with this thread, but I just had the funniest thought while reading the DNA stuff - dwarves with Obsessive Compulsive Disorders.

"Tun Logemegom cancels Build Rock Statue: Washing Hands"
"Tun Logemegom cancels Washing Hands: Washing Hands"

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