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Author Topic: Crafting a Scene: Standup in a Prison Colony  (Read 1597 times)

Scoops Novel

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Crafting a Scene: Standup in a Prison Colony
« on: January 17, 2023, 08:56:41 pm »

I'm just trying to think of everything you can do with this.

  • They attack the comic with projectiles
  • The guards fire a warning shot after too insulting a joke: then tell him to keep going
  • The comic's physicality... I would do it just enough to be threatening but meagre enough to be vulnerable.
  • The comic should somehow knock someone the fuck out during his routine, but it has to be in a way you're not expecting.
  • The comic is your adrenaline junkie fun at all costs kind of guy
  • Someone has a snake: it becomes a part of the act
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King Zultan

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Re: Crafting a Scene: Standup in a Prison Colony
« Reply #1 on: January 18, 2023, 03:08:23 am »

So you're wanting to make a comedy act in prison, are we visiting or are we prisoners?
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Scoops Novel

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Re: Crafting a Scene: Standup in a Prison Colony
« Reply #2 on: January 19, 2023, 01:49:35 pm »

This is a script man!

Credit to eldave1:

"Funny premise IMO.


Someone being tazed is always good for a laugh

Maybe add a snippet where the comic tells a politically incorrect/anti-woke joke and gets an inexplicable boo from the prison audience - comic is REALLY???"

I'm imagining it in a Australian setting, but I could be convinced otherwise.
« Last Edit: January 19, 2023, 03:04:32 pm by Scoops Novel »
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Scoops Novel

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Re: Crafting a Scene: Standup in a Prison Colony
« Reply #3 on: January 19, 2023, 03:04:17 pm »

I guess I could have a net thrown over a prisoner... then he gets beaten up.
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King Zultan

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Re: Crafting a Scene: Standup in a Prison Colony
« Reply #4 on: January 20, 2023, 02:20:15 am »

So does that means the comic is a guard?
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Scoops Novel

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Re: Crafting a Scene: Standup in a Prison Colony
« Reply #5 on: January 20, 2023, 01:50:28 pm »

Visualize it man. Think like a skit, that's what we're building here. Everything in the scene exists to maximize funny. It just has to remain believable, because the situations inherently funny.
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King Zultan

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Re: Crafting a Scene: Standup in a Prison Colony
« Reply #6 on: January 21, 2023, 02:18:21 am »

because the situations inherently funny.
Not if your the one in prison.

Also are we a prison colony in space or something like Australia?
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Scoops Novel

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Re: Crafting a Scene: Standup in a Prison Colony
« Reply #7 on: January 22, 2023, 06:22:03 am »

As I said, I think Australia works the best. Muskets are funnier.
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King Zultan

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Re: Crafting a Scene: Standup in a Prison Colony
« Reply #8 on: January 23, 2023, 03:13:49 am »

So it's set in Australia back when it was a prison colony, okay I can work with that but wouldn't it make more since for this to be a comedy set in the prison rather than a standup comedian doing a show in the prison?
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Scoops Novel

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Re: Crafting a Scene: Standup in a Prison Colony
« Reply #9 on: January 26, 2023, 10:09:36 pm »

You've hit on the idea of the - idea of this being part of the joke. I do want it to be a comedy set in the prison colony, yes. A prison colony isn't really a prison exactly, it's a colony with too many guards. I imagined more or less at feeding time someone gets up and starts talking.

If the guy actually set up a standup event in his free time, it wouldn't be as funny. Just "tough crowd" vibes. If you're the first guy to dare telling a lot of jokes in peoples face in a prison colony, that's funny.
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King Zultan

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Re: Crafting a Scene: Standup in a Prison Colony
« Reply #10 on: January 27, 2023, 05:19:43 am »

From what I remember of the Australian prison colony was that there weren't many guards and they just ditched people there so there wasn't a lunch time or anything to do comedy at.

So do we have this set in a group of prisoners or something?
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The Lawyer opens a briefcase. It's full of lemons, the justice fruit only lawyers may touch.
Make sure not to step on any errant blood stains before we find our LIFE EXTINGUSHER.
but anyway, if you'll excuse me, I need to commit sebbaku.
Quote from: Leodanny
Can I have the sword when you’re done?