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Author Topic: Funny/Evil Starts  (Read 1490 times)

AlexanderBlackhawk

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Funny/Evil Starts
« on: June 08, 2008, 01:55:00 am »

Well I want to know like when you start a character and something funny happens that you did or do - but what was the FUNNIEST or most evil one?

I haven't played the game much but ... The very first time I started I had something like skilled swordsmanship anyways ... My cousin was the one who introduced me to this game and said that the game is hard to murder civilians and get away: And to me that was a challenge.

I started getting used to the controls and then set out to see how much carnage I could cause. I headed towards a merchant to buy equipment and then realized I had no source of money, so I started my challenge there in the shop. I attacked the merchant - and at first I thought I was a goner, but nope. After killing him I looked for a nice simple peasant to kill, I talked to the peasant before murdering him. After the talk I ran up to him and struck him a few times with my sword, then eventually I pushed him down and dug my blade into his arm and twisted several times. After that I retrieved my blade and sliced the guy in half (practically in half). Then attempted to drink the blood but my character refused, so I decided to take the victims lower left leg.

When I left the house a guard started to attack me. So I ran, and ran - to slow him down I threw the leg at him which ... to my surprise ... killed the guard. I then proceeded to run away and eventually decided to start a few fires, which I did > :). After that I ran southwards and ran into 4 monks (one after another). Each one I fought off easily. Then came a simple merchant who I defended myself against and then ANOTHER guard came to me and tried to attack me. We went back and forth, me hitting more often then him. I slashed his pancreas open and then the guard vomited on the ground. I continued forth my slashing and stabbing to eventually pierce his right lung, and immediately after pierce his left lung - which made him vomit again =/. He bled to death and I slept in the merchant's shop.

When I awoke I traveled southwards hoping to find another town I might be able to hide in; but as I got further south the more strange it seemed. Eventually I stopped to think about my surroundings - the next thing I know I was pelted with arrows, my leg bleeding, unable to move and a guard charging at me. It was a bloody ambush I tell you!!!   :D Still - had plenty of fun!!!

    -Now I'd like to here you speak  :D

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warf ... Fortress ... ROCKS ALL GAMES!!!

Ghostpaw

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Re: Funny/Evil Starts
« Reply #1 on: June 08, 2008, 02:05:00 am »

Well, I took up a quest from a mayor to kill a two headed humanoid thing(forget the name).  I was a spear dwarf.  I went into the cavern, my drunken companion died, and I found the thing.  I tried to kill it but my spear got stuck in it.  I tried to wrestle it back but I lost my grip to it instead.  Then I preceeded to be beaten to death.
I made another dwarf.  This one was  a sword dwarf.  I went back into the cave and found my corpse.  I took the spear I had and went looking for him.  I found him and chucked the spear at him.  It killed him.  Hurray.
Damn I'm so tired right now.
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t''s so sad.  It''s as if De Beers as invaded Dwarf Fortress.  I nearly cried when I saw how valued and rare diamonds were in Dwarf Fortress.

Kagus

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Re: Funny/Evil Starts
« Reply #2 on: June 08, 2008, 02:22:00 am »

That would be an ettin.


This one time, I started an adventurer, and then I ripped a man's eyes out while he slept, and then I ran away from him and spilled a bear's entrails on the ground while it was still alive and conscious, and then I went psycho and started fighting people with a rotting goblin leg.

And then I wrote about it.

Ghostpaw

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Re: Funny/Evil Starts
« Reply #3 on: June 08, 2008, 03:42:00 am »

Once I decided to attack the mayor and while I was picking up his stuff villagers kept coming in to bother me.  I had very little time to loot because of all the villagers that kept coming through.  But then a pack of children arrived and crippled one of my legs and my shield bearing arm.  I killed them and a villager that came later as reinforcements.  When I was done slaughtering people there I went outside.  But another child was outside also.  That child came to attack me while I passed out from pain.  That child then preceeded to choke me to death.
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t''s so sad.  It''s as if De Beers as invaded Dwarf Fortress.  I nearly cried when I saw how valued and rare diamonds were in Dwarf Fortress.

Monsterfurby

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Re: Funny/Evil Starts
« Reply #4 on: June 08, 2008, 09:40:00 am »

Just started a new character in a pocket world. I somehow get the feeling the mayor isn't taking me seriously.

[ June 08, 2008: Message edited by: Monsterfurby ]

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Erzrzore gur Vapvqrag.

Ghostpaw

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Re: Funny/Evil Starts
« Reply #5 on: June 08, 2008, 10:29:00 am »

quote:
Originally posted by Monsterfurby:
<STRONG>Just started a new character in a pocket world. I somehow get the feeling the mayor isn't taking me seriously.

   

[ June 08, 2008: Message edited by: Monsterfurby ]</STRONG>


Ha!  That was funny.

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t''s so sad.  It''s as if De Beers as invaded Dwarf Fortress.  I nearly cried when I saw how valued and rare diamonds were in Dwarf Fortress.

umiman

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Re: Funny/Evil Starts
« Reply #6 on: June 09, 2008, 01:26:00 pm »

I always wondered why the priests and followers of death and suicide got all pissy when I brought it to them.

Helmaroc

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Re: Funny/Evil Starts
« Reply #7 on: June 09, 2008, 03:13:00 pm »

Well, just today I was playing as an elf archer and was attacking a goblin fortress. After a dozen or so kills, the patron demon was in view, through fortifications. I began firing my deadly saguaro arrows at it. Haha, stupid elf. He was ignited and beaten to a pulp.
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Nonanonymous

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Re: Funny/Evil Starts
« Reply #8 on: June 17, 2008, 03:43:18 am »

** Starting Adventurer **
You have discovered a river.
You pick up the $beaver meat [5]$ with your right hand.
You pick up the $panda meat [5]$ with your left hand.
You pick up the $jackal meat [5]$ and put it in your elk leather backpack.
You pick up the $turtle [5]$ and put it in your elk leather backpack.
You pick up the $rock lobster [5]$ and put it in your elk leather backpack.
You bash The Child in the upper body with your $panda meat [5]$!
It is bruised!
The Child misses You!
You charge at The Child!
The Child looks surprised by the ferocity of Your onslaught!
You bash The Child in the left upper arm with your $panda meat [5]$!
It is battered!
You collide with The Child!
The Child is knocked over!
You bash The Child in the right upper arm with your $panda meat [5]$!
It is bruised!
You bash The Child in the left lower arm with your $panda meat [5]$!
It is battered!
The Child's left elbow has been sprained!
You bash The Child in the right upper arm with your $panda meat [5]$!
It is broken!
The Child is no longer stunned.
You bash The Child in the left hand with your $panda meat [5]$!
It is broken!
The Child gives in to pain.
You grab The Child by the head with your right lower arm!
You bash The Child in the right hand with your $panda meat [5]$!
It is mangled!
You bash The Child in the head with your $panda meat [5]$!
It is battered!
You bash The Child in the right lower arm with your $panda meat [5]$!
It is broken!
You bash The Child in the lower body with your $panda meat [5]$!
It is battered!
You bash The Child in the right lower leg with your $panda meat [5]$!
It is broken!
You bash The Child in the head with your $panda meat [5]$!
It is smashed into the body, an unrecognizable mass!
The Child is propelled away by the force of the blow!
Canon Thakomolo, Child has been struck down.

I'm debating whether or not to carry the body with me throughout my various journeys.
« Last Edit: June 17, 2008, 03:47:32 am by Nonanonymous »
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Asehujiko

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Re: Funny/Evil Starts
« Reply #9 on: June 17, 2008, 09:48:15 am »

So I ran, and ran - to slow him down I threw the leg at him which ... to my surprise ... killed the guard.

Ranged roundhouse kick!

My own retarded death: I was exploring an old fort when i was attacked by an imp. I was on one of the balconies of the above ground tower at that time. The fireball missed me but ignited some silk glove on the floor. I killed the imp but now faced a new problem. The silk had ignited several other items in the corridor leading up to my platform, trapping me there. I could either try to run through it and most likely get torched or jump off which didn't seem smart either because i was at +12 so i opted to wait it out with my 30 units of food and ready acess to fresh water(i was on the waterfall maintanance platform).

Several weeks later my food ran out and the fire was stll on so i got rid of everything flameable and just run through it. Being an elf, i ended up with only a steel axe and a single bolt. I safely make it to the other side with only grey and brown wounds and try to search for a new backpack when i starve to death.
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