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[RoseHeart]

"laughing at the idea of my Mom dying"

I did laugh, but I thought it was a joke. We were in a road trip to the mountains. She was talking to her new husband who I didn't know well. She described [basically this] as something she was worried about if she didn't see a dentist. Although she used her squeaky voice she typically saves for jokes, and I laughed. It seemed too Rube Goldberg to be meant in serious, though in this case that voice was used to indicate being more vulnerable with her fears than she was comfortable with. He asked her why I was laughing, she said she didn't know. I was mortified. A bad first impression, that culminated years later in me fleeing home before he could send me to boot camp.

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I'll be general, but my defensive mechanism for telling a dumb joke is to double down, to make it more clear I am not being serious by saying things that are (hopefully) too outrageous to be taken serious. My north star is if they continue to choose to hang with me on consecutive occasions I am doing ok. Was kicked out of a community for harassment.

This one really made me think I was a horrible person for a long time, like an open hole in my heart. It took my mom saying "I'm sure you didn't do it on purpose" to phoenix down my defeated ass.


I might add more. Feel free to commandeer this thread to add your own stories.

Edit: Remembered to add link. P.S. Mom's bday is coming up, so she's on my mind..