The EpilogueSsarscel, Delta, Shaun, and the Unlimited Glove.
The suit of power armor opens, and Ssarscel climbs out, appearing to be in something of a daze. The armor, meanwhile, closes up by itself.
"Sssssso... now what do we...?" He walks over to the sword - the only thing left from his companion. He picks it up, looks it over closely, as if trying to find any last words of guidance. "It'sssss over?"
The armor - evidently equally capable of operating under Delta's desires as Ssarscel's - walks over to him, and puts a large hand on the wiry chupacabra's shoulder.
No, of course not. That was the whole point. It's not over. It was over for a time, and it is time to begin again. Seán. The head of the armor turns toward the man with the TARDIS.
I have spent a long time simply studying the data available to me. Records indicate that you have been here since the beginning. We have the Milks, or at the least, we can make them. Do you have a plan?Shaun thinks for a long time, before responding.
Aye’ll admit, Aye’ve never been one fer big plans. Aye’ve spent most of my life runnin’ from one place t’ th’ next, sometimes throwing a spanner at something nasty and then running away again. Aye usually come up with th’ plans as Aye go along. Aye suppose this’d be far from th’ worst day t’ change that habit.Shaun thinks for a little while more, before speaking again.
Well, one the one hand we have Thainos’ body, an’ we have his hand, and we have his fancy glove. And on the other hand, that wasn’ th’ only food machine in this old thing. If there’s still a thumb drive with th’ infinity milk on it, we could give th’ glove a snap or two an’ undo it all.With that, the time traveler collects the Unlimited Glove from the titan's corpse and takes it to the backup food machines. A bit of work and a few more broken replicators, and Shaun finds himself wielding the same godlike power that ruined the world once before. He Snaps.
Things change quickly after that. Across the cosmos, Thainos' actions are undone. The half of the population destroyed by the original Snap is restored, and the milk and water flow once again. In comparison to the drastic attrition suffered by the non-snapped people, these represent a major increase in the total population. With that and a few more Snaps whenever necessary, the apocalypse ends. The worlds are reborn, and the healing can begin.
True to his original goal, Ssarscel becomes legendary when his connection to Thainos' defeat becomes known. This leads to a great deal of wealth too, of course, and Ssarscel finds himself a leader in post-postapocalyptic science. His most significant invention, and quite possibly the most significant device ever conceived, is a portable milk replicator. This one invention singlehandedly averts roughly four more apocalypses.
Delta returns to his post on the repaired Moloko, piloting it back to Earth to report to the resurrected half of the Alliance's leadership. For his crucial assistance, Delta is granted the highest honors intergalactic civilization has ever given to an AI, and well beyond any organic officer at that. Once the Moloko completes its long victory tour with a new crew, it is sent on a new mission of exploration. This time, Delta is made the official captain from the start. Finally, Delta's programming becomes the baseline for a whole new line of shipboard AI's going forward.
Shaun too finds himself a hero of the restored timeline. After delivering the reconstruction plan he and Adam put together to the restored leadership, Shaun finds himself with all of space and time before him. This era and eons hence see him as a legendary figure, and his iconic green TARDIS becomes a symbol of hope to countless civilizations. Not only that, but the Unlimited Glove finds itself in a secure safe in his home, awaiting the day it is needed again. Clearly, more than 57 years and 38 series worth of adventures still await Shaun O' Brian.
Burt
"Yes I've found it, all the secrets of this crappy ass planet are now mine, and I can use them, this stupid presidency, and all the experimental crap in this facility to prove everything I've know to be right was right the whole time, and to do what they failed and were to chicken to do, I shall drain the remaining power away from the dead and dying gods of this world and instead of using it to empower this shitty country like they were going to do I shall use it to empower myself and become the GOD of the sun.... NO wait, screw that I'll become the what ever you call the god of everything, then I shall use my powers to make it to where there can be no government secrets and there can be no governments because I won't allow them to exist so I shall destroy them, and after I destroy all governments and reveal all the secrets I'll go find that fake ass government controlled 'Dr. Bob' clone that ended up becoming the god of science and I'll punch him in his fake ass face until he dies to get revenge for the death of the real Dr. Bob!"
In the depths of Area 51, Burt's antigovernment crusade reaches new levels when he discovers the remains of a plan to harvest the power of forgotten gods. Burt's research into Sun DNA proves the missing piece, and he absorbs the collected divinity. Burt becomes the new god of the Sun, before escalating to even greater heights. With his new powers, the secrets of the old governments are quickly disseminated among their surviving citizens. Burt finds the work of exterminating all governments much more difficult when half of their members are suddenly resurrected shortly after he attains divinity. Nevertheless, the sight of the
Sacred Cow entering the system quickly becomes the greatest fear of Government officials throughout the universe.
Ultimately, Burt's mission leads him into conflict with AllBob. Given AllBob's transcendent experience of reality, Burt is both defeated and victorious in countless variations of their duel. The one constant is a new constellation formed in the image of their battle that becomes a fixture of their homeworld's night sky.
Gunter
...
...
...
"...you are right, of course. The demigods will have their vengeance."
"The demigods will have their vengeance, and I-- will not be needed."
"If your words be true, Lady Auðumbla-- if you have made my household whole once more-- then in truth, Gunthar Hornhelm is no longer needed. I thank you."With a swing of his axe, Gunthar rends the veil between worlds: with a twist of the same, Gunthar sets the AXE of GINNUNGAGAP firm before the rift. There it will stay, there at the dawn of all things, until it is needed-- for Gunthar knows it to be his. Should the need rise, it will fly to Gunthar's hand once more.
"Eric-- that is his name. I thank you, Lady Auðumbla."And with a bow, a smile, a final salute... Gunter sets off home.
Maybe there'll be some milk and cereal left in the kitchen.
Some time later, Gunter reaches the remains of his old home. Hesitantly, he opens the door. It takes him another moment to look inside.
Finally, a constricting impact around his knees banishes all remaining fears.
"Hi Dad! You're finally back! I'm...not sure what happened!"
Gunter's mother also embraces him.
"I was just making some pancakes, and then Eric and I must have blacked out. When we awoke, the house was in ruins! Do you know what's happened? Are we going to be alright?"
Gunter surveys the damage. Most things look as he expected, but there is one thing out of place. Among the devastation, the table now bears three pristine bowls of cereal. A carton of Hornless Cow-branded milk is provided to fill them. A winking cow smiles forth from the logo. Gunter gets the sense that things are going to be ok.
Angelo and Diablo
"So... that's it then. It's done. It's all... finally over.""It seems so... it's been a long time since I felt this... at peace.""I shouldn't be happy about this but... I am. Humanity is safe, the world is safe. It's... good.""So... what now? We rest?""I'll be going back to Heaven, to resume my job as a guardian angel.""And I'll be going back to Hell. I'm pretty sure with everything that's happened, I've been promoted to ruling monarch.""Then... I'll find something to do. I don't know how I'll occupy my time now that the world isn't ending. Leisure... it's been so long, I forgot what it feels like.""...Actually, Adam, Heaven has one more job for you... if you want it, of course.""Hell's also in on the job offer.""Then... of course, yes. I'll do it.""Don't you want to know what it is first?""Y-Yes, sure.""Adam... you were the best vessel I could have ever hoped to have.""And you're the best damned human being in the miserable world.""Few, if any, have done more to make this world a better place than you have.""Even the demons have some respect for you in that regard.""So we decided, unanimously, that it would be a sin if... if...""If you did so much for the world and didn't get to enjoy it.""I-I don't understand.""Adam Simon, on orders of Heaven and Hell, in payment for you service beyond any expectation, with no expectation of reward, your final job is to be reincarnated, and to live a full and happy life. To live as many full and happy lives as you desire, and only once you have decided you wish to, to return to us, and to enjoy your eternal reward.""I-I...""We're going to miss you.""Live as many lives you want kid. Do whatever you want in them. The guy in the sky has pre-approved you for Heaven whenever you're ready.""You've earned it.""Th-th-thank you so much... I'm going to miss you both too. I'm going to miss you so very much.""Don't worry about it. Like we'll ever stop watching over your overworked ass.""So... are you ready?""Yes. I'm ready.""Then by the glory of Heaven and the might of Hell, we, Angelo and Diablo, hereby give you your reward. Adam Simon, we command you to LIVE!In a small house in a town near the ruin that was once Genericville, a young couple welcomes their new baby into the world. His hair is a brilliant golden color, and when he opens his eyes for the first time, they'll be heterochromatic, one blue and one red.
Angelo, Diablo, and Adam Simons legacy is not forgotten by the mortal world, especially once people learn that they were the one to slay Thainos. An order of heroic adventurers is formed in their honor, protecting their worlds from many threats over the years. They operate in teams of three, consisting of a knight and a rogue, with a third to balance them. As spiritual descendants of a Nephilim, they take to calling themselves the Anakite Order. Their weapons bear the motto "Suus 'Non In Finem Mundi".
Joshua Cortez
Joshua Cortez wakes up on a planet with no atmosphere. Strangely enough, he's not suffocating from the lack of oxygen, and he sees a wreckage of an Enterprise-class starship. He ventures into the wreck and explores the ship. Somehow, the captain's logs are still functional, and they all indicate that this crashed ship is no other than USS Moloko. Once Joshua finishes listening to the logs, he notices a suit of peculiar armor and an equally interesting mask. There's also a two-handed sword plunged deeply into the ship's floor. Cortez dons on the armor and the mask, and even though the armor suit looks extremely heavy for an ordinary man, he seems to have retained a rather good mobility. He removes the two-handed sword without any serious effort from the Moloko's blackened, rusty floor.
Suddenly, a blindingly white aura surrounds Joshua, and a few moments later, he sees himself back at the Earth. He is standing at a small hill a few hundred meters away from the settlement where it all began. He slowly walks his way to it, the air carrying the feel that the cycle of life is to begin again on the Earth.
"The legend never dies," Joshua muttered to himself in an unusually low voice for him.
Adam Smith
"Maybe I should have done this from the start."
Leaving his mortal body behind, Adam Smith joins his master in dreaming of the universe. There proves to be many messes to clean in the aftermath of the universe's decimation and recovery. Good thing it has a good janitorial crew. The Unicorn is sent back to Earth, where she relays what happened to Adam to the rest of the T'zzz cult. The Apotheosis of Adam becomes a defining feature of their beliefs, and T'zzzism becomes a prominent religion in the reborn intergalactic civilization.
Cistern
It's hard to say what happened to Cistern. She slipped back into the timestream again shortly after Thainos' defeat and found herself transported to another world. Perhaps she found some milk this time.
The John Network
The John Network continues to assimilate settlements across New Hampshire and beyond for a little while, until the population is suddenly restored by the return of the Unlimited Glove. Sensing that their presence will not be tolerated much longer in the rebuilding society, the John Network strategically sacrifices some of its number to fake the network's destruction and escapes into space using some old spacecraft. Once safely away, the John Network bides its time, building a fleet of cubic starships to assist them in one day assimilating yet more victims. "Resistance. is. futile."
Slash Ashford
After the defeat of Thainos, Slash Ashford uses one of Shaun's food machines to create milk. The delicious beverage unleashes his
TRUE NEANDERTHAL POWER, enabling him to write MIGHTY CODE unmatched by any sape. Finally, after over 20 years, TOME reaches its Final Form. It is unleashed upon the unsuspecting sapes, aliens, and chupacabras. It proves a relatively quiet release, but it gradually develops a cult following of roughly 8 billion players, mostly in the Andromeda galaxy.
Yoink
After the defeat of Adam Smith and the Unicorn, the Dairy Queen's army was in no position to keep fighting. The Dairy Queen soon surrendered to Yoink and his okapi warriors, in the process agreeing to marry Son Johnston. With this marriage, the Dairy Queen's milk fortune came indirectly under Yoink's control. White Mountain National Forest become the heart of okapi hybrid society as Daughter Leslie built the nation. The Dairy Queen's minions soon grew to tolerate and even love their new neighbors, resulting in even more freakish hybrids populating Yoink's growing society. More species joined Yoink's society as the years went on, including a large contingent of giraffes. Adam Smith's body was kept safe and cared for for a time, until it eventually and mysteriously died.
On her father's suggestion, Daughter Leslie sets up a dairy industry free of the Dairy Queen's slavery. Producing high-quality milk becomes a cornerstone of the hybrid's economy, competing with Ssarscel's cheaper replicated milk.
As for Yoink himself, he remains officially the leader of the new nation, but in practice spends his time in his people's metal scene, mastering the art of blackened ukulele metal and assisting the rise of other genres invented by his spawn, including harmonica thrash, flute rap, and harp punk.
Thanks again for playing, everyone. I've had a great time writing for all your characters these past three years! This has been a lot of fun. I think my favorite moment was the final battle from 2, though there's quite a bit of competition. I'll take a short break, and then start a new game on Monday in the
Play With Your Buddies subforum. I'll be doing a community suggestion game of the original Zoo Tycoon. Seeing Bay12 build a zoo should be fun.
Minimalism and Milk:Pail of ATHATH's milk:Acquired by Mal Tinkke.
Gallon of milk:In Ozzy's possession.
Strawberry milk and donuts:Bought for a bargain by Ziizo.
Four McDonalds milk bottles:Drunk by Lorgar.
Milk:Is milk
Cart of milk:Purchased by Inqusitor.
Clone of Yoink's heart that sprays mutation-inducing milk instead of blood:Brought into being by Goatsby.
Fatio's milkshake:Acquired after much difficulty.
Binding Saucer of Milk:A trap.
Cow milk:Collected by Mal Tinkke.
Milk flooded basement:Created by ATHATH.
Milk rain and lake:Armnotok's creation.
Yoink's hot chocolate:Has some milk.
Giant puddle of milk:Used to be a house.
Some milk pails:Acquired by Rethi-Eli.
Means of milky production:Seized by the cat army.
Doom Mug:In another dimension and broken apart.
American Milk Trade:Under the control of the giraffes.
Offering of Milk:Milk for the milk god.
A bunch of cheap milk:Acquired by Shaun O'Brian.
A collection of Wendy's milkshakes:Purchased/Stolen by Spazyak.
The Neo-Doommug:Destroyed Hell.
Milk Cloud:Has sharks in it.
All remaining milk in Genericville:Gathered by Armnotok's followers.
A couple bottles of milk:More significant than anyone could know.
Minimalism and Milk 2:The Holy Grail's milk:The greatest, holiest milk anyone could ever hope to drink.
Entropy Milk:Currently unclaimed because it is eating everything it comes into contact with. Destroyed by holy water.
Bottle of milk:Claimed by O'Brian, then stolen by Vaarsuvius.
Another bottle of milk:Stolen by Mario.
Milk canteen:In Anna's possession. Destroyed by mini-nuke.
Warehouse of milk:Reclaimed by town guards.
Spider milk:Dwayna got it, apparently spiders have milk. Later, she traded it to Baron Von Baron, who drank it. She later built up a reliable stockpile.
Massive herd of cows:Rightfully owned by Ziizo.
Vat of milk:Site of Revenant's rebirth.
Minimalism and Milk 3:Glass of platonic milk:Acquired by R15-B15, but then it left.
Sample of space cow milk:Briefly acquired by Nuhg before he was killed.
Sample of ghost space cow milk:Used by Nuhg to release the Seven in Hell.
Milk in tea:Brewed by Duncan G. Redford.
Glass of Milk:Given to GiantDad to help with his imaginary nausea.
Chupacabra milk:Traded to Nuhg in exchange for Asgardian mead.
Second sample of chupacabra milk:Captured by Thainos for his Unlimited Glove. One of the six Infinity Dairies.
Second sample of ghost space cow milk:Aquired by the ghost of Nuhg.
Douge's found milk:
Doom Mug milk:Collected by T'zzz from their valley in the Dreamlands.
Dr. Bob's milk:Normal milk that Dr. Bob purchased and kept in his fridge. Long since spoiled by time.
Void-tainted milk:Milk from the ruins of the Bazaar. Poisoned by the spittle of Void nightmares.
Second sample of Doom Mug milk:Taken by Thainos. One of the six Infinity Dairies.
Holy Grail Milk:The MacGuffin from the previous game. One of the six Infinity Dairies.
Platonic Ideal Milk:The perfect abstract form of Milk-ness. One of the six Infinity Dairies.
Elemental Plane milk:Summoned from a portal by T'zzz the White to clean some floors.
Time Milk:The milk delivery used by Shaun O'Brian to prevent the events of the original game. One of the six Infinity Dairies.
Soul Milk:Gained with a sacrifice by Primus. One of the six Infinity Dairies.
Synthetic Power Milk:Created by Delta.
Stolen Milk:All the normal milk in the Universe, stolen by Nuhg to pay the Eldritch creatures for their help.
All liquid water:Angelo and Diablo accidentally turned this into milk while "helping" the Fates.
Minimalism and Milk 4:Resurrected milk:Brought back through the occult magic of Luis Dougris.
Followers of the Symbol's milk:Stolen by Joshua Cortez.
Doom Mug milk:Taken by Shaun.
Replicated Doom Mug milk:Created by Ssarscel.
Okapi milk:Drunk by Yoink, to strengthen him for his showdown with Adam Smith.
Thainos' replicated milk:Drunk by Thainos for strength.
Thainos' Infinity Dairies:A dangerous form of replicated Unlimited Power. That he chugged.
Shaun's Infinity Dairies:Used to undo the Snap.
Dairy Queen's milk fortune:Won by Yoink.
Hybrid Milk:High-quality milk produced by Yoink's freakish descendants.
Hornless Cow Milk:A gift for Gunter from a friend.
Ssarscel's portable milk replicators:Nobody is running out of milk anymore.
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Topic: Minimalism and Milk 4 (Read 90530 times)