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[SixOfSpades]

Just a note here to say that I don't believe anybody thinks that implementing any of these alternate beverages would require a new labor. Picking & drying tea leaves would fall into the Threshing labor, grinding dry coffee beans would be done by a Miller*, etc. While it's true that actually preparing hot tea/coffee would technically be a Cooking action, I think this should be a special case where individual dwarves don't need to have Cooking enabled if they're preparing the drink in their own quarters.

* Querns & Millstones used for grinding coffee should impose a negative quality modifier on the next few batches of flour created in that same quern/millstone, and vice versa.

(Although I do believe that Brewing, Vinting, and Distilling should be broken into three separate labors, as they're 3 different processes with very different chemistries.)

Human works well enough with no drink, a tot of rum might help fortify them slightly

Mmmm . . . for humans, drink (certainly at only 1 drink per day) doesn't do much to "fortify", and only functions as a morale booster more than any other positive effects. In fact, that could be very much the same for dwarves: The observed symptoms of sobriety might not be due to actual physical withdrawal, but instead be purely psychological in nature: They know that they're laboring for an overseer/mayor/monarch who doesn't think they're worth the effort of providing liquor for, and it's very demoralizing to be denied your well-earned drop of liquid happiness. So, understandably, their work ethic plummets. (That wouldn't explain their slower reflexes, though.) Attributing their lethargy to ennui makes a lot more sense than making up some weird-ass dwarven biochemical needs.

A dwarf has a scale that is almost up against "the maximum alcohol anyone could physically drink"

Almost to the maximum, indeed. Dwarves can still drink themselves to death, and of course the upper limit is defined by gnomes. (Gnomes currently can drink infinite amounts of booze, but IMO they should definitely have some sort of hard limit on consumption, like 100% of their normal body size.)

[Bumber]

(Gnomes currently can drink infinite amounts of booze, but IMO they should definitely have some sort of hard limit on consumption, like 100% of their normal body size.)

Is it really infinite? The entry for dark gnomes says a dilution factor of 500 puts them above a creature 10 times their size. That would mean the equivalent of a tiger man, although it doesn't say how much more than that.

[GoblinCookie]

Is it really infinite? The entry for dark gnomes says a dilution factor of 500 puts them above a creature 10 times their size. That would mean the equivalent of a tiger man, although it doesn't say how much more than that.

The gnomes are smaller but the units of alcohol don't get smaller. 

[SixOfSpades]

Is it really infinite? The entry for dark gnomes says a dilution factor of 500 puts them above a creature 10 times their size.

Oh--well then, if there actually is a cap, then that's at least vaguely approaching realism . . . although it'd make a lot more sense to limit consumption by pure volume, instead of inebriation. I have no problem with a creature that lacks the capacity to get drunk, but all that booze still has to go somewhere. Liquids are incompressible.

[thompson]

Is it really infinite? The entry for dark gnomes says a dilution factor of 500 puts them above a creature 10 times their size.

Oh--well then, if there actually is a cap, then that's at least vaguely approaching realism . . . although it'd make a lot more sense to limit consumption by pure volume, instead of inebriation. I have no problem with a creature that lacks the capacity to get drunk, but all that booze still has to go somewhere. Liquids are incompressible.

Maybe they just pass right through? Makes for a disturbing mental image.

[Bumber]

Maybe they just pass right through? Makes for a disturbing mental image.

*Smacks the gnome on the nose with a quire, collapsing the part into a lump of gore*

Bad gnome! Not on the booze stockpile! Bad!

[GoblinCookie]

Oh--well then, if there actually is a cap, then that's at least vaguely approaching realism . . . although it'd make a lot more sense to limit consumption by pure volume, instead of inebriation. I have no problem with a creature that lacks the capacity to get drunk, but all that booze still has to go somewhere. Liquids are incompressible.

Not in the present DF it doesn't.