But I'm not sure how to [depressurize] - and how will that help if the top level is still above the rest of my fort?
In case it wasn't already clear, I'll use PatrickLundell's design as an example:
WW..WW
W.WW.W
WWggWW
WWggWW
W.WW.W
WW..WW
For the explanation, let's assume the water coming in from the north and south is pressurized and with plenty of supply. (several pumps or a big cistern)
The water needs to pass through two diagonals to get to the grate. It can only do that by flow, since pressure can't move diagonally. This is worth noting because it will slow the rate of flow a bit more than a single diagonal, so by creating longer paths of unpressurized water, you can slow down the rate of flow.
Re: "how will [depressurizing] help?", if water is pressurized at the top and allowed to fall freely, the pressure will "push" water down, and then out the sides of the column of falling water. (and then starting a flood) Depressurized water should (I think) fall faster than it flows, so you'll never have water falling onto a 7/7 wet tile in mid-air and decided to then teleport sideways. If I understand it right, if you hook a cistern straight up to your waterfall with no depressurization, it will flood almost instantly. I'm not 100% sure of the pattern, but I suspect you'd get an expanding sphere of water starting at the top of the waterfall.
e.g. If you build a pump stack up high in the air with no walls and then, say, let it pump magma full speed, the magma will not just fall straight down, but the pressure will cause it to move into adjacent tiles in mid air.
I bring up that totally random example because if you didn't plan for that particular behavior of your magma fountain, it can theoretically get messy very very fast. Definitely not because it's something I did on accident once.
Also totally unrelated, 20-some z-levels of falling magma to burn/flood a valley is a great way to get below 1 FPS.
I'm currently building my fort and the cistern ended up in a sort of donut shape because I decided that since I want a curtain of water in a circle, it's pointless to have the water in the middle of said circle. Not sure if good idea? I was planning to make this donut 3-4 levels high and then bring water from below on the sides of it, and put diagonals there when it'll enter the donut. But I could build a cylindrical cistern inside the donut hole as it were, and make that diagonally attached to the donut in a few places?
Without seeing your design, the one thing I'd recommend considering carefully is that the path between the pressurized water source and the eventual place where it falls is equal length for each waterfall tile. (like in the diagram, they're all effectively identical.) Ideally, each tile of waterfall would have the same rate of flow and you won't have to spend time figuring out which ones are flowing too quickly or too slowly.