It's been... two years. Two damn years. Teneb, what are you doing with yourself? Why are we here? Only to suffer?
Anyway. So, what has happened since then? Well, the reasons the LP died were the following: my HDD at the time got corrupted and had to be replaced
and I was going mad transcribing every little bit of dialogue. While I can't guarantee my hardware will continue to function, I have discovered the wonders of an online script of the game. So that's nice.
This here bonus update covers some of the stuff I did on the way where this LP stopped (it took me 12 hours to get to Manaan in this new run, 2 horrible ones on Kashyyyk; and I'll still return there one last time because of the Assassin's Creed questline!) that I found besides the original, plus some stuff I probably didn't cover with companion quests. There may be some repeated stuff, because I am not reading all 44 parts of my LP in minute detail to find out.
Aside from that, I've grown to hate Kashyyyk even more. Why? Because I found out you can skip on a ton of alignment points in each main quest of the planets, thus making it easier to be neutral. Except Kashyyyk. You want another reason to hate Kashyyyk? Every single other planet lets you warp back and forth to the Ebon Hawk. Except Kashyyyk. Fuck that place. May it get attacked by droids. It is a planet we can afford to lose.
What else? Well, maybe you want to play this game too, only to find it crashes or has huge graphical glithces. There is a way though: in the graphical options, disable grass, frame buffer effects, and v-sync. You may also need to go to game folder itself and rename to movie folder to something else (in my case I was crashing whenever I got a movie this time around).
Here we have Deth Sord II at the very end of Taris. This Deth Sord has an optimized build that included not levelling past 5 until he got his jedi class, which, this time around, was Sentinel because the AI loves to stunlock you and Sentinels don't give a damn about that. Also note the perfect grey background. So lovely. Too bad Kashyyyk ruined it.
Skipping ahead, I managed to trigger Canderous' quest while still in Dantooine, which is something I think did not happen at all in the course of the original LP run. So let's watch that.
:
Do you know him, Canderous?:
He… he was a warrior under my command up to the battle of Althir. But I thought…: (Jagi)
You thought I was dead, didn't you! You thought all of us that you had sent on that attack had perished! You sent us to die in a foolish attack while you directed your forces elsewhere! You broke from the battle plan and let us die for it, so that you could have the 'honor' of being the first to the enemy commander! :
Is this true, Canderous?:
I… I did what was prudent at the time. If I had not done it, the battle would have…:
I have spent years tracking you down since the clans were banished, and I will not rest until I have had my vengeance!:
What are you going to do?:
In the dune seas of Tatooine, I will be waiting for you. I have spread the news of the challenge since I learned you had landed on this world. All the surviving Mandalorian clans know of what I do here, and that we shall meet on Tatooine to settle this debt of vengeance once and for all. If you fail to meet me there, you shall be stripped of all honor and forever cast out of our society! It will be you and me alone in the dune seas of Tatooine: a final battle that can only end in death. I shall be waiting for you there, Canderous.Well, that was something, wasn't it? And looks like our boy Canderous isn't as
honourable as he keeps going on about. Here's what he's got to say about the matter:
:
What happened out there? Why is Jagi so mad at you?:
This is between me and Jagi. You don't have to get involved. If you're lucky, he might spill something before I spread him in a paste over the dunes.Now this update is a bit weird, so we're going to skip right ahead to Jagi's Challenge, out in Tatooine's Dune Sea.
Or we would, except I was an absolute fool and forgot to screenshot it. So have the transcript with these nice mugshots and some descriptions instead.
As you approach the very middle of the Dune Sea, if you have Canderous with you Jagi will appear with two rodian thugs.
: (Jagi)
Ah so you managed to come after all. I see you brought friends.:
You brought some of your own as well.:
Ha! Indeed I did. I foresaw that you might need help so I arranged a distraction.:
You talk too much and do little.:
Big words from such a small human. But I know why he brought you here, and you shall regret his choice! :
Enough of this talk, Jagi! Let us do what we came here to do.:
Let's do it, Canderous.:
And you shall all die!And battle ensues, in which Jagi gets absolutely wrecked. There is a way to talk both of them down, but that is not the Neutral way.
Trying to talk to Canderous after this results in a small dialogue:
:
This thing with Jagi... I... I don't know. Give me some time and I'll be able to sort this out on my own.Canderous will now refuse to speak of this until we hit the mandatory plot twist. So that's enough of that. What else did we do? Well... there's the Bastilla romance. Yup. That's a thing alright. But me, being an utter pooplord, also forgot to screenshot all of it. Which is fine, because I'd need to post/transcribe pretty much EVERY SINGLE CONVERSATION WITH BASTILLA!
And we're not doing that. Nope. No way. So let's skip ahead to the saucy stuff, shall we?
:
You have been patient with me, haven't you? I suppose you deserve an answer. But you have to understand how difficult this is for me to say.:
Yes, I think so.:
With all my training, I should be able to control myself better than this. But you're not anything like I expected. You're not like any man I've ever met before. I find myself watching you when I don't mean to. I'm thinking about you when I don't want to. It isn't supposed to be like this!:
What are you trying to say, exactly?:
Every time I try to call on all my teachings to calm myself, they fail me. You have such power, such passion! I don't know if it's due to the bond between us, but I'm drawn to you.:
Are you interested in me or in my ability to use the Force?:
The Force is a part of you, as is your power. But that's not what attracted me to you. It's more than that. Maybe it's the bond we share. It gives us a certain... intimacy.Such smooth dialogue. I know this was still sort of early BioWare, but still. By the way, this is the one option at this point that progresses the much-dreaded Romance. Yeah.
:
But Malak must be stopped, my own feelings are nothing when compared to that. Yet I know this could affect the sake of our mission if it is not resolved - I can't let that happen!:
If you have something to say, just say it!:
I think... I think we should have some privacy for this. Come with me.Okay, this is the point where I am legaly obliged to tell you that if you are considered a minor in your country, you need to stop reading this LP. Stuff is gonna get smutty. Ok?
Last chance.
Don't say I didn't warn you.
:
In some ways you make me feel weak, like I am caught up in the wake of our destiny. But at the same time, you make me feel stronger, more alive.:
And I feel more alive when I'm with you.:
I realize now these feelings are part of the bond we share. The Jedi Council surely realized this; they knew my loyalty to the doctrines of our Order would be tested on this mission. By facing and overcoming my feelings for you I have learned a valuable lesson about control and the dangers of emotion. This is an important step in understanding the Force. I'm sorry if this is not what you wanted to hear. But I felt it was important you know our... infatuation... was nothing more than a result of our powerful bond.:
You're rationalizing, Bastila. You're just scared to face the truth!:
You're the one who can't face the truth! Malak has to be stopped. How can I do that if I let myself be blinded by my feelings for you?:
I'm going to stop Malak, Bastila. But I want to do it with you at my side.:
You... you mean it, don't you? But how can I be sure you aren't making a mistake. I... I have to resist. I have to be strong for both of us.:
You know I'm right, Bastila.:
But I don't... I mean, I can't... Malak will...Okay kids, this is it. The finalest chance to avoid the police from breaking down your door because you were looking at smut before adulthood.
:
Shut up and kiss me, you babbling fool.:
Oh, my!Yup.
That's right.
Scandalous, innit? A kiss?! Absolutely torrid. Some might say it just fades into a scene jump-cut because of budget reasons or because of the engine, but no. We know the truth: we must preserve the purity of our kids, who play these newfangled video-games, oh yes.
You're damn right it was a mistake.
In fact, let's jump to something completely unrelated. Something like the fact that there's a special scene if you do Tatooine before Kashyyyk. That's right. One whole special scene.
What could it be about?!
: (Komad Fortuna)
I have not been here long, but I can already see I will not be as welcome here as I had hoped.:
Why did you leave your home on Tatooine?:
It was a hard decision, but I felt I had no other choice. I had done a disservice to the apex predator of that world. It was time to go. I have come here to seek even greater prey than what we faced on Tatooine, but the climate here is politically cold, and I don't know if I will be allowed to hunt.:
Whose permission are you looking for?:
An astute question. Czerka Corporation seems in control here, but they don't care if I wander the Shadowlands, so long as I have paid their docking fee. Instead, I hope to gain the trust of the native Wookiee population. I'm not here to just kill the biggest thing I can find; I want to understand how they hunt.:
What are you doing to gain their trust?:
Very little. I'm sure they have had enough of off-worlders like the Czerka claiming good intentions. I will simply try to stay out of their way. I have heard of an off-worlder that has gained respect by living in the Shadowlands for some years. Perhaps I will attempt the same. It could just be hunter tales, though.:
I have to leave. Goodbye.:
Farewell. Perhaps we will meet again. A great hunt on this world would be glorious.It's a nice little cameo, as far as those things go. Also some foreshadowing of Jolee. We never see Komad again in Kashyyyk after he walks off. Probably was swallowed by the pit of horribleness that is that forested rock.
But what else, dear hypothetical reader, what else could I show you after such wonders as Canderous' Unseen Duel, the Censored Kiss, and Komad Fortuna's Glorious Return?
Well.
There is one thing.
One wee little thing.
:
I'm not giving you the gland until I see some credits!: (Griff)
Sorry, like I said before I don't have any credits on me. And Greeta won't lend me any. It's like he doesn't trust me to pay him back or something. But you come through on this and I promise you'll get a huge payday down the road. Two... no! Three thousand credits! How's that sound? :
Here's the tach gland. Take it.:
Come to papa you sweet simian organ! It may not look like much, but once I turn this into a bottle of Tarisian ale it'll end up being worth a fortune!He has an extra line if Mission is present.
:
Thanks, Mission. You won't regret helping me out with this!:
Hey, sis, no need to worry about that. I've turned over a new leaf. From now on I'm going to stay out of trouble and do things right. And once we've cornered the market on Tarisian ale good things will be heading my way. Then I'll make it up to you, Mission. Just wait - you'll see!Uh huh.
:
You know, once we synthesize this and start brewing Tarisian ale in mass quantities we're going to be looking for some investors. You give me a couple hundred credits and I can get you in on the ground floor. You'll get a return of... oh, at least twenty times your investment!:
You already promised me a few thousand credits.:
Hey, don't worry, you'll get your credits as soon as we start mass producing that Tarisian ale. I just wanted to know if you were interested in an even bigger payoff.Let's be an absolute imbecile for the hell of it.
:
Okay, here's 200 credits. :
Wise move. I can see you really understand how business works: now, when you see your chance, you jump at it! Heh, that's my motto. I better get started on brewing that ale. Meet me back here later and I'll have a downpayment on what I owe you.He walks out at this point. But if you leave and come back, you'll find... well, certainly not him. So let's talk to his former boss.
:
I don't like the sound of this.: (Greeta)
He told me to tell you that he made a mistake brewing the Tarisian ale. It didn't work out right for some reason.:
I'm not surprised. Anything else?:
He told me the tach gland was ruined. And he said he wasn't going to stick around and have to face his Exchange contact.:
You mean he's gone?:
He hopped on board the last shuttle. I don't know where he was heading, but I can't say I'm sorry he's gone. He was one of the worst employees I ever had. He was always on a break, he mixed up orders and I think he might have been stealing from me.:
Good riddance!:
People like Griff, they know how to disappear when they get in too deep. You won't hear from him again any time soon. Waste of time to even bother looking for him.:
Damn it, Griff - won't you ever learn? How can my own flesh and blood be so stupid!:
There was one last thing. He said to tell his sister goodbye. And to tell her he's sorry.And so ends that ballad of Griff, greatest deadbeat you ever saw. And this recap.