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Author Topic: Cult of the One Toad  (Read 1458 times)

Pnx

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Cult of the One Toad
« on: February 13, 2007, 06:32:00 pm »

Hallowed is the One Toad.

That's right the cult of the One Toad sign on up, all you need to do is print out the contract below and sign your name in blood on it. Once you have done this keep in a cool dry place and no matter what DON'T BURN OR OTHERWISE TAMPER OR DAMAGE IT. To do so is to relinquish your theoretical buffet rights. So if you want access to the theoretical buffet they keep it safe.

Now for the contract…


The Cult of the One Toad

I ___________________________________________

Recognized as being called the alias _______________________________________

Hereby relinquish the alias signed and all the parts of my body, computer, and anything else pertaining to the ego behind this alias including the part of my soul that is behind said alias that they be forever the property of The Cult of the One Toad that shall furthermore be referred to as The Cult. Any material possessions that I hold shall be the property of The Cult when I depart this world and shall remain its property should I ever be forced back to this world by say for example a cult necromancer. My life/death/undeath and any effects negative effects caused by any of these states is not the responsibility of The Cult even if The Cult is the cause of a change in this state. If I should choose or be chosen to sacrifice myself for the greater good/evil of the cult in verbal or written form I shall be legally obligated to carry out said sacrifice in whatever stated, if the sacrifice is no longer necessary or the means of sacrifice is impossible then I am obligated to commit suicide by traditional cult means, unless given a direct order otherwise.  This document grants me rights to the theoretical Cult buffet and meetings at 6pm every 27th day of the month.

Oh and traditional cult means of suicide is to eat a lethally toxic toad/frog followed by praising Toady One in your death throes. Failing that just throw yourself off a building or something. The Cult of The One Toad makes suicide Fun!!   :D

[ February 13, 2007: Message edited by: Pnx ]

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Lord Blue

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Re: Cult of the One Toad
« Reply #1 on: February 13, 2007, 06:49:00 pm »

Very nice, now add some breaks in the 'code'.

I'm not sure if I'll join, per se, maybe I'll just be the corrupt businessman making money off of this. You know, negotiating tax-exempt status and whatnot.

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he Dwarf Fortress Blog is now up and running, albeit ugly and empty. Do your part, and email stories, worlds, and mod files to dasuberalt@yahoo.com

I''ll put it up on the blog, and give you credit.

http://dwarffortressblog.blogspot.com/

JT

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Re: Cult of the One Toad
« Reply #2 on: February 13, 2007, 08:06:00 pm »

Nothing about shaving your head?

What about warts -- are those covered by the medical plan?

Do I have to replace my teeth with a ridge of cartilage?

Do I get eternal salvation for sacrificing myself in the name of the One Toad?

Are tongue prosthetics a sign of devotion?

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"The very existence of flamethrowers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, 'You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done.'" --George Carlin

yeahjim

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Re: Cult of the One Toad
« Reply #3 on: February 13, 2007, 10:05:00 pm »

Sure, I'll sign. It's the least he deserves.

I'm a roguelike fan and picked this one up maybe five months ago because I saw that it was still under development. After forty five frustrating minutes of not understanding that some buildings were for building buildings and other ones were only built in other buildings, I deleted it.

For whatever reason (probably because I didn't like the idea of being outwitted by a video game) I gave it another shot about a week ago. Figured out the building thing. Mucked up my floodgate arrangement. Built my cavemouth too big so that I won't be able to seal the doors against the inevitable attack. Was informed via magenta text that my best miner had drowned in the river. Watched a farmer wrestle a lizardman to the ground and beat it to death with his BARE HANDS. My entire fortress is a disorganized mess full of stray cats, drunk midgets, and puppies.

What an amazing game. This has the potential to be not just the best roguelike ever, but one of the most nuanced games of all time. I just wanted to say thanks.

-Jim

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JT

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Re: Cult of the One Toad
« Reply #4 on: February 14, 2007, 09:33:00 am »

Yeah, it has a steep learning curve, that's for sure, but it is to be expected that the One Toad would make the Path of Enlightenment difficult to achieve.  It is by the One Toad's good graces that we are able to engage in ritual sessions of Holy Blowing-Things-Up every Toadian Week (earth day).
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"The very existence of flamethrowers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, 'You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done.'" --George Carlin

Pnx

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Re: Cult of the One Toad
« Reply #5 on: February 14, 2007, 11:08:00 am »

"Ahhh fresh victims for my ever-growing army of the undead."
"Sir you have to let go of the button."
"Why son of a b-"

Dental plan not so good most members tend to sharpen their teeth into points. Eternal damnation err salvation yeah sure we got that.
Next order of business
We need a slogan!
What do you think of you can do more evil if you do it legal...
No wait that's taken. Ok then how about...
Liberty and justice for none!

[ February 14, 2007: Message edited by: Pnx ]

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Lord Blue

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Re: Cult of the One Toad
« Reply #6 on: February 16, 2007, 12:14:00 am »

Liberty and justice for one (Toady, to be exact).
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he Dwarf Fortress Blog is now up and running, albeit ugly and empty. Do your part, and email stories, worlds, and mod files to dasuberalt@yahoo.com

I''ll put it up on the blog, and give you credit.

http://dwarffortressblog.blogspot.com/

krige

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Re: Cult of the One Toad
« Reply #7 on: February 16, 2007, 07:07:00 am »

Apparently, there are rebels everywhere:

<.<

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Sheriff of Nottingham: That's it then. Cancel the kitchen scraps for lepers and orphans, no more merciful beheadings, and call off Christmas.

JT

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Re: Cult of the One Toad
« Reply #8 on: February 16, 2007, 09:09:00 am »

"We will fight for
Toadian freedom,
And hold our amphibious heads high!"
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"The very existence of flamethrowers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, 'You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done.'" --George Carlin

Rooster

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Re: Cult of the One Toad
« Reply #9 on: February 16, 2007, 02:54:00 pm »

"We will fight
beacause we've got the right!
we'll get rid of those evil,
sons of the devil!
Axes high! bay twelve
dwarfs.cut them in half!
pray to the Toady one,
the party has just begone
we've got acolytes two
you can be one too!
lets release the adamantine demon
and the seledine venom
will take our souls
we've waited for this foul
moment!Its time to call the great TOAD!


say if I've made grammar mistakes :P
I know this isn't the best one i've written but my best are in not so popular language:Polish!(Im from poland and im proud of it!).Do you like it? the begining is more agrresive but the end is more i would call it EVIL!

JT thanks for idea of the beginning. Im not good at those

[ February 16, 2007: Message edited by: Rooster ]

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Pnx

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Re: Cult of the One Toad
« Reply #10 on: February 16, 2007, 03:11:00 pm »

Muhahahahahahahahahaha
All the pieces fall into place and all will be conquered. And my yes you are right
"Truth and justice for the Toady One."  :D

I thought about making a three toe cult but what would it be called? The cult of the toes a three?

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Rooster

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Re: Cult of the One Toad
« Reply #11 on: February 16, 2007, 03:37:00 pm »

...and death for elephants those son of a...
...devil just like in my post above  :D
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