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[DolosusDoleus]

Oh, I did not see you enter. Greetings wanderer! Take a seat.
Now, let this old wizard tell you an epic tale.
Yes! The story known as...

THE TRUEST ADVENTURE

This story begins with our HEROES in a large HOLLOW CAVERN, the DARKEST land anyone has ever had the pleasure to get proper trapped in. They are trapped within its CAVERNOUS CAVEWALKS. Stuck in the CAVE, which is very DARK and CAVERNOUS.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

But of course! We must mention the HEROES themselves before they go off and explore the CAVE.

There is BONEMARROW LAZYNAME, a NECROMUNCHER. Like all NECROMUNCHERS, BONEMARROW is able to SUMMON SKELETONS and beings from the NETHER LANDS.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Next is HOOMBAR, the BARBRUTE. Possessing SUPERIOR STRENGTH and an EXTREMELY HIGH ALCOHOL TOLERANCE, HOOMBAR has the power to PUNCH things EXTREMELY HARD.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Finally we come to REGINALD, the WILD SORCEROR. Though they are extremely MAGICALLY ATTUNED, when they CAST SPELLS a variety of UNFORSEEN CONSEQUENCES tend to occur.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Now that INTRODUCTIONS are out of the way, we can know continue on to what our HEROES will do. How exciting!


PARTY MEMBERS:

Spoiler: Bonemarrow Lazyname, Necromuncher (click to show/hide)

Health: 20/20
Mana: 20/20

Skills:
Raise Dead (+3)
Summon Nether Being (+3)

Buffs/Debuffs:
None

Status:
Fine

Spoiler: Hoombar, Barbrute (click to show/hide)

Health: 50/50
Mana: 2/2

Skills:
Punch Something (+5)
Drink Alcohol (+2)

Buffs/Debuffs:
Alcohol Tolerance - Hoombar is not affected by the effects of drunkenness.

Status:
Fine

Spoiler: Reginald, Wild Sorceror (click to show/hide)

Health: 8/8
Mana: 60/60

Skills:
Cast Spell (+2)

Buffs/Debuffs:
Wild Magic - Strange, unpredictable things tend to happen when Reginald casts a spell.

Status:
Fine

Spoiler: General Rules (click to show/hide)

-Only one action per party member is allowed per turn.
-The most upvoted action for each party member will always be chosen.
-Ties on votes will be resolved by random whimsy.
-A d20 will be rolled to determine the success of most non-mundane actions.
-The less likely a party member is to know how to perform a skill, the greater the penalty to their roll. For example, if Hoombar attempted to cast a spell, they would receive something near a (-12) to their roll.
-Spells cost mana. The bigger the spell, the more mana it will consume. Spells only use mana if they are successful.

EDIT: Waaaugh my grammar

[DolosusDoleus]

~Reserved~

[DolosusDoleus]

~Reserved~

[Secheral]

HOOMBAR armwrestle himself.

LAZYBONE raise librarian skeletons. They have candles.

REGINALD light the candles.

[DolosusDoleus]

Unable to mentally cope with the DARKNESS of the CAVERNOUS CAVEWALKS, HOOMBAR goes back to doing what he does best: using his POWERFUL MUSCLES. However, lacking any WORTHY COMPETITION, he chooses to ARM WRESTLE himself (1).

Somehow, HOOMBAR manages to lose the ARM WRESTLING MATCH against himself, and now his MUSCLES are VERY SORE. HOOMBAR has gained the DEBUFF "Sore Muscles" for three turns.

Having decided to be less useless than their idiotic BARBRUTE companion, REGINALD and BONEMARROW choose to introduce some LIGHT to the CAVERN.

First, BONEMARROW begins an arcane ritual to summon some SKELETAL LIBRARIANS holding some much-needed CANDLES (18+2).

Suddenly, FOUR SPOOKY SKELETAL LIBRARIANS claw their way out of the ground, GETTING DIRT EVERYWHERE and AGGRESSIVELY SHUSHING everyone as they wave their CANDELABRAS around (-6 Mana). REGINALD takes this opportunity to LIGHT THE CANDLES (7+2).

The CANDELABRAS suddenly BURST INTO FLAME (-1 Mana). However, HOOMBAR gets pretty SPOOKED by the sudden and rather distressing appearance of FIRE and the AGGRESSIVELY SHUSHING SPOOKY SKELETAL LIBRARIANS. Combined with some residual WILD MAGIC, this sends HOOMBAR into a MAD BERSERKER RAGE.

HOOOMBAR loses the ability to ACT RATIONALLY until he ATTACKS SOMETHING.


PARTY MEMBERS:

Spoiler: Bonemarrow Lazyname, Necromuncher (click to show/hide)

Health: 20/20
Mana: 14/20

Skills:
Raise Dead (+3)
Summon Nether Being (+3)

Buffs/Debuffs:
None

Summons:
4 skeletal librarians holding lit candelabras. Currently aggressively shushing everyone.

Status:
Fine

Spoiler: Hoombar, Barbrute (click to show/hide)

Health: 50/50
Mana: 2/2

Skills:
Punch Something (+5)
Drink Alcohol (+2)

Buffs/Debuffs:
Alcohol Tolerance - Hoombar is not affected by the negative effects of drunkenness.
Sore Muscles - Hoombar's arm muscles are very sore. -2 to all rolls involving his arms. 3 turns remaining.
Mad Berserker Rage - Hoombar cannot act rationally until he attacks something.

Status:
Fine

Spoiler: Reginald, Wild Sorceror (click to show/hide)

Health: 8/8
Mana: 59/60

Skills:
Cast Spell (+2)

Buffs/Debuffs:
Wild Magic - Strange, unpredictable things tend to happen when Reginald casts a spell.

Status:
Fine

[King Zultan]

HOOMBAR: Go and attack a wall.

LAZYBONE: Look around for any thing useful.

REGINALD: Also look around for useful stuff.

[DolosusDoleus]

Filled with MAD BERSERKER RAGE, HOOMBAR wildly attacks a LARGE STALAGMITE jutting forth from the GROUND (23).

He PUNCHES it so extremely hard that the STALAGMITE comes loose and flies across the CAVERN, SHATTERING against the CAVE WALL. HOOMBAR is no longer consumed by MAD BERSERKER RAGE! However, PUNCHING the LARGE STALAGMITE turns out to have 4 BROKEN his FINGER BONES. HOOMBAR loses 4 HEALTH and gains the DEBUFF "Broken Fingers".

The SPOOKY SKELETAL LIBRARIANS are very DISTRAUGHT by all these LOUD NOISES, and GET ALL UP in HOOMBAR'S GRILL, and begin to EVEN MORE AGGRESSIVELY SHUSH HIM.

HOOMBAR is now being AGGRESSIVELY SHUSHED. He cannot be heard over the DIN OF SHUSHING SKELETONS.

As HOOMBAR is attacking the SCENERY, BONEMARROW and REGINALD take the time to LOOK AROUND (2) (18).

BONEMARROW doesn't notice anything because his DARK NECROMUNCHER ROBES are in front of his EYES and make it HARD FOR HIM TO SEE.

REGINALD, on the other hand, notices something in the CAVERN. He notices a SHOTGUN SHACK in the middle of a MURKY LAKE.


PARTY MEMBERS:

Spoiler: Bonemarrow Lazyname, Necromuncher (click to show/hide)

Health: 20/20
Mana: 14/20

Skills:
Raise Dead (+3)
Summon Nether Being (+3)

Buffs/Debuffs:
None

Summons:
4 skeletal librarians holding lit candelabras. Currently aggressively shushing Hoombar.

Status:
Fine

Spoiler: Hoombar, Barbrute (click to show/hide)

Health: 46/50
Mana: 2/2

Skills:
Punch Something (+5)
Drink Alcohol (+2)

Buffs/Debuffs:
Alcohol Tolerance - Hoombar is not affected by the negative effects of drunkenness.
Sore Muscles - Hoombar's arm muscles are very sore. -2 to all rolls involving his arms. 2 turns remaining.
Broken Fingers - Hoombar's fingers are broken. -2 to all rolls involving grabbing or grasping something with his arms.
Aggressive Shushing - The skeletal librarians are aggressively shushing Hoombar every time he tries to speak. He cannot be heard over the din of shushing skeletal librarians.

Status:
Fine

Spoiler: Reginald, Wild Sorceror (click to show/hide)

Health: 8/8
Mana: 59/60

Skills:
Cast Spell (+2)

Buffs/Debuffs:
Wild Magic - Strange, unpredictable things tend to happen when Reginald casts a spell.

Status:
Fine