In my fortress, randomly named Firevagina, there lived a married couple. One day, while dumping trash down a chute, the wife must have stumbled and fell, because I saw that she was burning alive in the magma sea.
Here is where she died, and the husband was grief-stricken.
Some years later, after being made the duke, a plan was laid out. It would require preparation and years of work, but he was determined. Nobody else would fall victim to the evils of magma ever again. The army was disbanded, and the caverns walled off, and a massive maze of traps was constructed at the entrance.
They were alone. They were safe.
It was time.
The military men traded their spears for picks, the tailors and crafters learned the ways of the smelter, and soon, the production of over 300 bars of volcanic metal would be underway. The elves, surprisingly, played a key role in this, as we had embarked in a frozen, evil tundra with no trees, and the caverns had been blocked off. Their grown wood logs would provide the coke needed to make steel. It took years, but the metal was assembled.
The metalcrafter began his work immediately, forging Golems made out of solid Volcanic Metal, as well as Golems forged out of solid steel. Platinum mauls engraved with powerful runes were given to the steel Golems, while adamantine great axes were given to the Volcanic Golems. Three more years passed, as the Golems and their powerful weapons were forged, and three years again passed as they trained themselves to Legendary status.
Shortly after their completion, the elves stopped coming. We still don't know what happened to them, but we can only assume the worst. Despite the general relations of the dwarves and elves, there was a sadness in the fort of Firevagina. A monument was erected outside, pillars of platinum and green glass statues of elves would be a permanent marker of their friendship.
The elves of The Cockchafer of Terseness were different. They were special. They understood the dwarven desire... no, the dwarven
need...
For efficient and safe trash disposal.
And that was the ultimate purpose behind these incredible wonders of dwarven smithing.
We were going to invade Hell.
Their eerie glowing pits would be perfect for trash disposal. Never again would a dwarf fall victim to magma.
The golems assembled, we waited patiently for the miner to breach the vein. The seconds ticked by, and suddenly...
It happened.
Much to our bewilderment, some of the demons turned on each other. The duke, watching from his seated position, looked on in confusion as the demons ripped each other to pieces. Taking advantage of this distraction, the duke ordered the golems forged of Lead to begin construction of the staircase into hell immediately, and the warriors followed closely behind.
The golems cut through the demons, but several fell. 13 of the original 20 remained. A golem was picked up and thrown, his head crashing against the slade floor and coming apart.
The duke himself was nearly killed, he stood his ground as a demon charged directly towards him. But he would not run. His dream of a safe, trash-free fort would be realized. He was narrowly saved by one of the Volcanic Golems.
With all of the lead golems ripped apart in the construction of the staircase, and only 9 of the warriors left standing, it had been a costly victory. But no dwarven life was lost. Golems of mithril and orichalcum were ordered to be constructed, and a pathway to the glowing pit was made.
Hell had been tamed, and through dwarven ingenuity, had been transformed...
Into the world's greatest garbage disposal.
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Topic: Fort Firevagina: Clowns and Trash Disposal [SPOILERS] (Read 1199 times)