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Author Topic: Problem at Work. Advice Request  (Read 1193 times)

Killgoth

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Problem at Work. Advice Request
« on: October 31, 2016, 01:27:56 am »

I recently got hired as a stock clerk at the grocery store equivalent of Ned Flanders, and I think I just fucked it up a little.  l tend to be a bit snarky by nature, but this job requires me to be nice to customers and coworkers constantly and I actually really like it--first job I have ever had where I like more than half the people I work with.  It isn't the job I would ever want for life, but I am going to be in school for the next couple of years and I think I could do quite well here in that time(they only promote from within, and the pay raises and benefits are generous).

So...a coworker and I were blocking aisles before closing time (pull product to the front of the shelves and make sure the label is facing out) and a female coworker from another department came by and asked us if we would restock some stuff for her because she wanted to leave early.  I said I didn't mind, but it was up to my partner (I am down with mildly padding my paycheck and earning favors, but I am not down with signing someone else up for work if they don't want it).  He didn't say anything and just giggled as she dumped the stuff in our cart and left.  After she left and he stopped giggling he clearly was not happy with the situation. 

Anyway...I felt shitty about the situation and the H.R. person was walking by and I told them about the situation and they said they would talk to her.  In retrospect I feel like this was a shitty thing for me to do (both because it makes me look like a childish tattle-tail, and because I can't really think of any kind of positive social outcome if the H.R. person talks to her).

Social situations confuse me enough already, and I just want to be the positive guy at work that doesn't have to deal with drama or bullshit.  Can I just not think about this anymore (what are the odds it will just blow over without any ramifications if I do nothing)?  Should I try and talk to the H.R. person and tell them not to talk to her?  In the future if a coworker asks me to do them a favor that would also involve someone else working with me doing extra work, should I just say "no" instead of leaving it up to my partner?
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Killgoth

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Re: Problem at Work. Advice Request
« Reply #1 on: October 31, 2016, 01:52:08 am »

Your male coworker sounds pretty weird.

Talking to the H.R. person wasn't great, but it's unlikely anything serious will come of it. Maybe you'll get a dirty look from that female coworker the next time you see her. I wouldn't advise taking any further action one way or the other, except potentially avoiding the giggling coworker because he sounds like a nonce.

He is 18 years old and I get the impression he is not experienced around women (I wasn't really at that age either), which is part of why I felt bad about/responsible for the situation.
Thank you for the input, I can never tell if I am over or under analyzing social situations.
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DJ

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Re: Problem at Work. Advice Request
« Reply #2 on: October 31, 2016, 04:13:36 am »

I think she deserves an explanation and an apology.
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Detoxicated

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Re: Problem at Work. Advice Request
« Reply #3 on: October 31, 2016, 04:18:29 am »

From the Management perspective you Done the right thing.  Next time talk with your coworker and decide together.
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nenjin

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Re: Problem at Work. Advice Request
« Reply #4 on: October 31, 2016, 11:18:20 am »

1. A coworker just dumped work off on on you so she could leave early.

2. Your male coworker didn't have the stones to say yes or no, so you said yes for both of you.

3. You talked to HR, which means you effectively ratted her out for dumping work on others and then leaving early.

4. Dumping your work off so you can leave early is typically considered bullshit in most jobs unless you willingly, agreeably say you'll do their work for them.

5. Talking to HR does kind of make you a rat. Bosses want employees to solve issues like this between themselves.

6. That said, depending on what the rules are at your job, she may have fucked up by dumping her work off on another stocker so she could leave early, without clearing it with your bosses.

I wouldn't worry about it. Your male coworker does sound weird. Just be aware that being cute and going "oh would you do my work for me" is a thing that happens in these kinds of jobs. If you don't care, groovy. But it can make you look like a sucker.
« Last Edit: October 31, 2016, 11:20:36 am by nenjin »
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Flying Dice

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Re: Problem at Work. Advice Request
« Reply #5 on: October 31, 2016, 09:30:00 pm »

There's a difference between being helpful and being a doormat. Just be aware that people will be shitty and take advantage of you if you let them.

Yeah, sure, maybe it was actually a legitimate need and a one-time thing, but that's unlikely. There are a couple ways you could have handled it better. Could have said no from the get-go, either recognizing what she was doing or that your co-worker was an awkward kid who wouldn't say no even if he wanted to. After you let her get away with it and saw how he felt about it, you should have bucked up and done all of the work that she shoved off on you and (gently) told him that he can just say that he doesn't want to next time, no hard feelings.

Letting her get away with that and then ratting to HR after the fact is about the shittiest way of handling it... but at the end of the day who gives a shit, it's small beans. So a bad co-worker might be a little passive-aggressive, sure, it's not like the sort of person who shoves work on others to skive off early was ever going to be a genuine friend or a pleasure to work with anyways. I guarantee you that she won't try to talk you into doing her work again, and probably not the kid either since HR shouldn't have told her who reported her.

There's no good way to deal with a shitty co-worker being shitty, but making it clear from the start that you're not going to enable them is probably the best.
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TheBiggerFish

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Re: Problem at Work. Advice Request
« Reply #6 on: November 02, 2016, 01:06:30 pm »

Hmm.

I don't really have much advice, but maybe spread your net wider than just Bay12?  workplace.stackexchange.com
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