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[x2yzh9]

   I don't know where much else to go on this. I've had a lot of problems lately, and it makes
me upset when my mother drinks. It causes me to have a lot of anger issues because I used
to have a problem with pot and now that I'm done smoking she thinks she can sit around
and drink all day. Which makes me want to smoke.

   I can't smoke pot because I'm having a lot of life issues and legal as well. But to describe mysel
Would be to say that I'm a very empathic person. When she drinks, I get angry because not only
Does she take medications but she drinks on top of it! And to say that I can't smoke is like blowing smoke in my face. It's rude and today I had a assertive confrontation with her about it.

  She's still drinking though and quite honestly I'm about to go back to the days where I had to hide
That shit. I want it to stop.

[Neonivek]

This problem sounds less like your Mother's problem and more like your problem.

If this was motivated more out of concern for your mother I'd be somewhat sympathetic... Yet the tone is more that your angry she is a hypocrite because she cares more about you then about her current health.

So... maybe you should find ways to handle your anger issues instead.

[x2yzh9]

I suppose. I need to handle my anger more. But it does stem from a deep concern... a concern..maybe you are right. Maybe I'm just being selfish. I'm not sure at this point. It's late.

[Neonivek]

Not so much selfish. Bitter.

[Caz]

How much does she drink?

[nenjin]

See my thread a couple threads down. Sounds like you are where I was about 3 years ago. Aware of the drinking, unhappy about it, unable to stop it.

I don't know if I have any real advice for you. From my mother's experience, it's depression and anxiety that fueled her need to drink. Alcoholism doesn't happen in a vacuum. It's usually tied to something. Some need to forget or to escape from some kind of personal pain or anxiety or angst.

You could try asking your mother why she drinks, and not accepting "because drinking is fun, duh" as a response. You've already tried communicating with her about how it makes you feel, right? If that didn't sway her, chances are nothing else will.

I hate to not give you any hope but....my mother had to become a full-blown alcoholic and had to hit rock bottom before she legitimately sought help. The best you can do is show her how drinking is affecting her life and your's, and hope that's enough to convince her to, if not quit or seek treatment, at least slow down.

Point is though, to focus on yourself. Your mother may in fact wreck her life with her drinking. The _only_ thing you have control over is how you're going to let her drinking affect your life. If hiding to insulate yourself from the negative effects of her drinking is all you have, that's what you gotta do. If her drinking is putting you at risk for doing something you shouldn't be doing (smoking pot. I make no judgments on the rightness or wrongness of smoking pot, it just seems like it's something you know you shouldn't be doing right now) then you really do need to separate yourself from her and her environment as best as possible.

It's something I've had to learn over the last month and a half: there's nothing you can truly do to get an alcoholic to stop drinking. It's all on them. The best you can do is tell them how you feel, be supportive if they do try to stop and to make sure it doesn't ruin YOUR life and emotions in the process.

But yeah. I'm getting the vibe you're as frustrated with your own situation as you are with her drinking. As a pot head I can sympathize. Having to be clean when people around you are not is hard. Just make sure you're not conflating the two (concern for her drinking vs. being pissed you can't get high. One is legit. The other is pretty selfish.)

[x2yzh9]

Thanks for the feedback guys, I really appreciate it. Her drinking toned down and it's just a thing me and my family are going through so I'm not worried that much anymore but she's doing better as far as that stuff goes but as Nenjin said I have to make sure to realize the things I can and can't change. Also, learning to not be bitter at her FL when she drinks because I can't smoke pot, etc. Thank you all

[Infinityforce]

I'm sorry to hear about your situation.

My advice is if you wouldn't do it, why would you let someone you love do it, and if you would do it, how can you preach to others about it?
"The Way comes from a higher place than righteousness. " - Hagakure
It is not our place to change people's lives, unless they are our close family or ties, in which case we're expected to be the opposite (we're supposed to take responsibilities for the lives of our family and friends)
Nothing means quite as much as family. Does it really mean that much to you, or to her? Why not remind her of the good that's been and will come. After all, you are her son, and she has spent some of her best moments with you, caring for you, nurturing you and raising you.
If it means that much to both of you, I'm sure you can make it.

[TheBiggerFish]

...
*hugs*

[x2yzh9]

Thank you guys for being there for me. It's toned down a bit-The drinking at least. I've stopped consuming substances as well and simply take my medication, so, I'll manage to get over it; and when I mean get over it I mean find a workable solution.

[TheBiggerFish]

That sounds like a very good thing to be doing.