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[Crustypeanut]

"The Village"
"Before the Book"
"The History of the Book"
"Can the Book Save the World?"
"Errors in Dying"
"More Tower"
"It must have been the Human"
"The Human: Fact or Fiction?"
"The Dirt Knows"
"Dying is my Life"

[ancistrus]

Start your day with the grave
The desecration in the time of my ancestors - about animation
The afterlife and other travesties
The mouse brute: Problems and solutions
Can the Rocks save the world?
Never underestimate the dwarf - about a dwarf necromancer

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

[EveryZig]

"Fist Sleep, Then The World!" <--The mantra of every college student

[automaticsquid]

2 really fantastic ones
"sleep, abridged for the beginning practitioner"
"the book: fact or fiction?"
i know that the second one is in reference to a specific book but it sounds like a question of whether books exist at all but in book form.

[Mostali]

Common Sense Fouled Water, "Common Sense Fouled Water", a hemp scroll

This is a finely-crafted hemp scroll.  It is made from hemp cloth.  The rollers are made from magnetite.  The rollers are made from exceptionally worked peach wood.
Written on the item is a manual entitled Common Sense Fouled Water, authored by Pado Spicerooted.  It concerns the connection between disease and fouled water.  The writing is a comedy treasure trove and it is fairly cheerful.  Overall, the prose is passable.

---

Dwarves and their toilet humor.

[Aslandus]

Is there a way to make books in forts right now? If not there should be at some point, I want to make a library for my Book Keeper to have his office in.

Yes, make sheets by grinding up slurry out of pig tails or something similar in a quern/mill, then press it in a screw press and use a crafts shop to make a quire, scholars can write in them if you make a library for them to use.

I've made a huge library with over 100 books so I've got a few, here's my favorite titles:
"Master of the screw"
"The screw for everyone"
"Wound wrapping, my love"
"Hardness: before and after"
-Presumably they include a lot of double entendre

"The interpretation of funnels"
-I don't think I want to know what this one says about using funnels

"An offering to pulleys"
"A Wizard's guide to the pulley"
-Apparently my fort thinks pulleys are magic and/or some sort of divine force

"Life with forceps"
-Presumably teaching about forceps via some kind of written sitcom. Apparently a pretty vicious one too.

"The Lever and other travesties"
-A place for learning? No! Burn the witch! They have spoken the name of the forbidden device!

"Classic lamination"
-I assume this is some kind of pun on "lamentation", given that it features asides on the author's preferences and "exquisite turns of phrase"

"The moving sun came full circle"
-Sounds like some kind of folk tale, but it's just about geocentrism. Though those aren't necessarily mutually exclusive.

"Uncovering the vial"
-Sounds like something out of an adventure novel, and it's self indulgent so it's probably got some sort of author insert Mary sue as the focus...

[Iapetus]

One I got was something like "The Secrets of Bear Monsters." Written by, of course, a Bear Monster FB/Titan. Who got to declare himself lord of his civ by force of argument.

His forceful argument being that only he had The Right To Bear Arms?

Q: Where should a Bear Monster FB/Titan be lord of?
A: Anywhere it likes.

***

In my most recent fortress, I have several books.  The most amusing titles:
The Goblin: The Definitive Guide
Start Your Day With Nusbi Ordersensed

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

This is a resion opal-bound codex
The written portion consists of a 25 page essay entitled Start Your Day With Nusbi Ordersensed, authored by Nusbi Ordersensed.  It concerns the career change from farmer to poet of the human Nusbi Ordersensed in Respectplait in 208.  The writing hopelessly meanders.  Overall, the prose is amaturish at best.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

I presume Nusbi Ordersensed is a very bad poet, with a massive ego, who has written a bad autobiography explaining why (he thinks) he is so great.

Give Me The Goblin
Do You Know The People?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

This is a giant rat parchment scroll.  The rollers are made from granite.  The rollers are made from exceptionally worked pear wood.
Written on the item is a chronicle entitled Do You Know The People?, authored by Pevit Sparkledray.  It concerns The Scourge of Weavers.  Overall, this is a terrible compilation of information.  The work has five chapters.  The first chapter covers the ascention of the goblin Song Fellteacher to the position of the lady of the Scourge of Weavers in the early autumn of 7.  The second chapter covers the devouring of a beak dog in the Scourge of Weavers by the giant jaguar Visedfather the Ripper of Colors in Dreadtest in the early summer of 78.  The third chapter covers the attack on the Scourge of Weavers of the Disloyal Monster at Dreadtest by The Coalition of Grasps in the midsummer of 250.  The fourth chapter covers the attack on The Coalition of Grasps of The Distant Unions at Musclevoices by The Scourge of Weavers in the early spring of 251.  The fifth chapter covers the attack on the The Coalition of Grasps of The Distant Unions at Musclevoices by The Scourge of Weavers in the early summer of 251.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

I like the way the description ('A terrible compilation of information') matches the contents - the title suggests its a social history of the entity, but it randomly jumps from the ascention of the ruler, to a minor incident of predation, then skips 178 years of history to describe some recent battles. 

Errors In The Human