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[numerobis]

So I decided to have a quick game in between work and having my tax collector mandating a 1040 form in his office.  The goal: taking out a goblin's demon.  I've had many an adventurer fried by a demon, but never a fortress.  My plan was to embark with minimal food, quickly set up an ironworks to put out iron armor and weapons for everyone -- and to get enough immigrants for "everyone" to be an army of about two dozen soldiers -- and battle my way up: first the smallest tower, then the medium one, and end with the tower with the bright red cherry on top.

I got to population 53, had most of a suit of armor for each of my 20 soldiers who were by now proficient or better, and then I got ambushed.  By at least 5 groups of goblins, two of them bows.  Right on top of the dwarf merchants as they were going up a steep slope.  I screwed up and failed to forbid one of the wagons apparently, because the entire population of 53 went to go loot it -- the soldiers wanted the gorgeous steel low boots, and the civilians wanted berries.  I got that under control soon enough, but because I'd been so focused on the task at hand, I'd neglected to build any amenities at home; the fortress began to riot.  So I did any rational leader would do when faced with domestic unhappiness: I went to war.

My wagon somehow had navigated between two tallest towers into a small notch in the cliff face; the tallest was actually *below* my fortress.  About where I'd normally put my graveyard, the aforementioned cherry was chilling out (eating dwarven babies, I'm sure).  So I drafted everybody and ordered my miner to drill straight into the demon's lair.

The battle was somewhat anticlimactic, actually: dozens of recruits kept the demon busy while my marksdwarf, all of a novice marksdwarf at that, slowly plinked steel bolts at it.  Mostly they didn't do anything, but one of them hit the trifecta: heart and lungs.

Now recall that I went to war to deflect criticism on the home front.  I hadn't fixed anything there.  We still only had 15 beds, four dinner tables, and one statue.  But we still had about 40 dwarves.  I needed to do *something* to keep the soldiers from rioting at home.  The answer was obvious: go after the high priest and his pointy escort (two pikes and a bow).

That failed miserably.  Only one dwarf fell to them.  I needed more.  That's when I noticed the blinking green goblin two levels below: an elite crossbow goblin!  Surely he'd help solve my overpopulation problem.  I sent my army to consult with him.

He had some good tips, and we also took advice from his colleagues in arms (much as we'd previously taken some arms from his colleagues in advice).  But now we had a bit of a conundrum.  I still had over 30 dwarves, so logically I should have pressed on.  But only half were able-bodied; the rest were broken, drinking, or sleeping.  And I did need to keep a few of the happier dwarves around to keep the rest in check.  So I declared victory and let everybody try to limp home.

In the end, the entire exercise was a smashing success.  We wiped out the upper echelons of the goblin civilization and solved the housing shortage at a stroke.  My new immigrants had a worthwhile way to train up their masonry skills -- namely, by building 58 coffins.  And my legendary miner went to take his mind off the fact that his lover and all his friends were dead and rotting by carving out an entirely new fortress under the goblins' temple, with enough space for a small civilian colony, and plenty of room to grow.  One of the four aces from the war even survived the riots, and ascended to be the new mayor.

I presume the mayor ran on his bona fides as a tough law-and-order type: as sheriff, he let no crime go unpunished, and the recidivism rate was almost zero.  It's hard to break the law when you're searching a 1x2 space for a roach to eat, but the marksdwarf (who slew the demon) managed to tear free of his shackles before starving.

Recapping: here's a three-step program to solve the most pernicious housing crisis:
1.  Fire
2.  Pikes.
3.  Bolts.

[puke]

well witted! i like your writing style.

[Kagus]

Do you still get sieged if you settle in a goblin fortress?  That might be interesting, being attacked by goblin fortress-reclaim parties...

Take-and-Hold.  Hope you're still sitting on that goblin fortress to give it a go.

[numerobis]

I was getting ambushed, but it was a short game -- just two years.  Interestingly, the goblin ambush parties were attacking the local goblins.

[RP]

quote:Originally posted by benoit.hudson:
<STRONG>Interestingly, the goblin ambush parties were attacking the local goblins.</STRONG>

Hahaha, that IS interesting. Gobbo death match arena, anyone? That'd be so cool. I can imagine the dwarves eating the dwarven equivalent of popcorn and bets being exchanged as the two sides decimate each other. And when the dust has settled, the body parts have stopped flying and the shrieks and moans have given way to silence, a large door creaks open, introducing the weary victors to a colossus fresh from the dwarven menagerie... MUHAHAHAHAHA! BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!

[numerobis]

Something I didn't realize is that my fortress was called "Tormentrythmic" (or maybe that was the goblin fort?)

[Boatmurderer]

quote:Originally posted by RP:
...the dwarven equivalent of popcorn...

Legendary Popcorn... it menaces with spikes of popcorn.

[numerobis]

Seed roasts as popcorn...  discuss.

[Jayjayjuhwetplane]

benoit.hudson, you are a Great Leader with capitals G and L

[Lyrax]

quote:Originally posted by benoit.hudson:
<STRONG>Seed roasts as popcorn...  discuss.</STRONG>

What do you think rock nuts are really for?

POP ROCKS!

[Xombie]

Once i made a fortress in goblin fort. There was a 4 buildings and a temple full of goblins. They never attack or do something, i trained a group of seven crossbowmen with wardogs(equipped only with wooden shields, crossbows and bolts) and cleared all the place. 2 dwarves were killed by goblins. One dwarf gone berserk and killed rest of the squad. Then he killed every dwarf in my fortress(10). Later I found him with my adventurer:

code:

The flying +®-Steel bolt-Ї+ strikes The dwarf Marksdwarf in the head!
It is pierced through entirely!
Vab“k Vellorbam Ilasiz, dwarf Marksdwarf has been shot and killed.