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Author Topic: Realization: Mr. Tumnus is a f****** thief.  (Read 821 times)

Dunamisdeos

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Realization: Mr. Tumnus is a f****** thief.
« on: April 25, 2016, 07:31:22 pm »
You guys seen Narnia? In every iteration, that faun has an armful of packages and drops them in fearful shock as soon as he sees someone. I don't see a Macy's in Narnia. Did he order them from Amazon? That asshole stole those packages from people's porches.

This means he's feigning ignorance about that magic wardrobe. He's completely aware of it, and he pops on through every Christmas and grabs a bunch of loot to bring back to his dank little cave. He drops the packages because he thinks that this time, someone came back to get their stuff.

Just look at this shifty son of a gun.

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nenjin

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Re: Realization: Mr. Tumnus is a f****** thief.
« Reply #1 on: April 25, 2016, 08:07:49 pm »
And Father Christmas goes around arming children with weapons. Narnia's a shit neighborhood.
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Dunamisdeos

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Re: Realization: Mr. Tumnus is a f****** thief.
« Reply #2 on: April 25, 2016, 08:41:40 pm »
It goes deeper than that.

In Narnia, if you know how to travel between worlds you are either an ultra-witch or literally Jesus Christ. Sometimes He lets people in to do quests.

What is Mr Tumnus' deal? What kind of god-like being of mischief and petty thievery does he represent? Also, Mrs. Beaver has a god-damn sewing machine and I don't see a machine shop anywhere in those woods. She's in cahoots.

HOW dOES THIS NOT BOTHER MORE PEOPLE>
« Last Edit: April 25, 2016, 08:45:38 pm by Dunamisdeos »
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FACT I: Post note art is best art.
FACT II: Dunamisdeos is a forum-certified wordsmith.
FACT III: "All life begins with Post-it notes and ends with Post-it notes. This is the truth! This is my belief!...At least for now."
FACT IV: SPEECHO THE TRUSTWORM IS YOUR FRIEND or BEHOLD: THE FRUIT ENGINE 3.0

Bumber

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Re: Realization: Mr. Tumnus is a f****** thief.
« Reply #3 on: April 25, 2016, 10:22:25 pm »
He's obviously Krampus. He whips bad children before taking the presents their parents bought them.

It would be much easier if parents these days would just let jolly Saint Nick do his job. Do you know how hard it is to whip children with your arms full?
« Last Edit: April 25, 2016, 10:28:29 pm by Bumber »
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My Name is Immaterial

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Re: Realization: Mr. Tumnus is a f****** thief.
« Reply #4 on: April 26, 2016, 02:36:30 am »
Quote from: Dunamisdeos on April 25, 2016, 08:41:40 pm
HOW dOES THIS NOT BOTHER MORE PEOPLE>
THIS BOTHERS ME SEVERELY
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Emma

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Re: Realization: Mr. Tumnus is a f****** thief.
« Reply #5 on: April 26, 2016, 03:05:21 am »
This changes everything! Narnia is so much deeper than I thought it was.
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My Name is Immaterial

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Re: Realization: Mr. Tumnus is a f****** thief.
« Reply #6 on: April 26, 2016, 03:08:41 am »
Now it's a bit more than thinly veiled racism and Biblical metaphors!
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Loud Whispers

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Re: Realization: Mr. Tumnus is a f****** thief.
« Reply #7 on: April 26, 2016, 06:15:21 am »
Quote from: My Name is Immaterial on April 26, 2016, 03:08:41 am
Now it's a bit more than thinly veiled racism and Biblical metaphors!
White Witch did nothing wrong
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