It's a short update this time, as explained in the author comments (instead of ending on the new mystery character talking, it seemed more appropriate to end on their appearance- I've been under the weather and the dialogue just didn't feel like it was working).
Poll Results
The brother of the victim is watching the unfolding scene. What were his last words to the victim?
A// "This world is ending and I'll be the one dancing in its ashes. This is your last chance to join me, brother." 3 VOTES.
B// "There is a battle coming and we have to prepare. There is no time for weakness, brother." 4 VOTES.
C// "This is what we wanted, brother. I know it hurts, but it'll get so much better. The pain goes away. All of it." 9 VOTES.
Author Comments
Suggestions for features were diverse- in some cases, even contradictory. The most common traits were that he was marked with symbols (crescents under his eyes, tattoos), that he had abnormal limbs (extra fingers, fewer limbs), and other deformations (half his hair is gone, scaled hands, parasite).
The past few weeks have been extra challenging. Earlier in the year, I agreed to act as leader for an essay and art contest being hosted by a local non-profit. We had two events last week and I'm still recovering from the sun burns (it seems like a silly thing, but a good sun burn makes me worthless for a few days).
The original version of this installment was a full four pages and had dialogue indicating that the tattooed cult leader was strangely compassionate, but I didn't have the mental capacities to really assess if it was working. I went with a shorter version, letting the character's appearance act as a cliffhanger.
This marks the end of the Introduction chapter. Next chapter is the development chapter- we take the threads introduced here and decide which ones are important.
Reader Comments
aaron.van--- "Half of his hair is gone, never to grow again."
quietdign--- "How about polydactyly? You can't get much more distinctive than that!"
Leonatho--- "A pair of small crescent shaped scars just under his eyes that emphasizes the wild look in them."
vaslitt--- "The conspicuous parasitic thing stuck on his belly."
sirgav--- "His upper body and face are totally covered with intricate tattoos, showing everything from mythical beasts to abstract patterns."
j13--- "His right hand is covered with scales."
Guninanrunin- "C. Awesome art work. I'm a bit confused about Red's gender. Is that intentional?"
TopazMarauder- "C the brother has an extra arm."
AztecLizard- "( A) - the brother doesn't have one arm"
Which character should the next chapter focus on? Selecting more than one option is encouraged.
A// Red, the occult expert
B// the skeptical Captain
C// the allegedly undead victim
D// the tattooed cultist
E// the legend of Arthrus the Undying