My problem is exactly the opposite of the OP. He feels he has too many dwarves; I am forever wanting more helping hands. DF, for me, is an exercise is getting what I want done without killing the framerate, which means maximal work out of
every single dwarf available.
Typically, an 80-dwarf fortress run by me will have something like the following mix of work:
3 growers/brewers/cooks,
2-5 dwarves that do something else with food (threshers, millers, backup farmers, hunters, fishers, herbalists, or dedicated food haulers),
1 carpenter, 2-6 masons (I've become quite fond of building things and need lots of blocks), 1 blacksmith, 1 metalsmith, 1 weaponsmith, 1 armorsmith, 1 bowyer, 1 bone-carver (for arrows), 1 tailor, 1 weaver, 1 dyer, 1-2 glassmakers, 1-2 mechanics, about 2-5 miscellaneous skilled craftsdwarves (interesting preferences, lucky strange moods, backups, or I just wanted to crank out more stuff of a particular kind), and 2-4 smelters, 0-1 wood burner/potash-maker, and 0-2 woodchoppers to keep the forges burning and the metal bars coming,
2-6 miners and 2-4 active engravers, with many retirees with these skills serving in the military,
15-25 military dwarves, of which maybe half are part-timers who rotate between training, boosting attributes, and haulage as needed,
a few injured dwarves, some nobles, some babies and chidren, ...
... and a whole bunch of haulers, averaging perhaps a third of the population. Most non-hauler dwarves occasionally have to help with moving stuff, because I always want more done, and done faster, than the available haulers can do alone.
Not a whole lot of time for partying in my forts.