I've never explored patrols or regular stations, so I leave those answers to others.
The parts I use are kill orders and move station orders on my squad (I typically only have one) and that works sufficiently well with some caveats. My squad is otherwise set to constant training.
- When you cancel a move station order the dorfs will be reported going back to civilian and then immediately back to military. It's some kind of glitch that doesn't seem to have any other effects.
- If a move order targets an unreachable location (like e.g. accidentally 1 Z level above the ground) they'll abandon the order and go back to training. The jobs screen shown them to have an unreachable station order.
- If a kill order is against a target that is or becomes unreachable they'll abandon the order and go back to training. The jobs screen shows them as having an unreachable kill order.
- When a kill order is fulfilled (i.e. all targets killed) the dorfs do the civilian/military cycling as on a canceled move station order.
- When changing orders (one move station to another, or to a kill order, as well as a cancellation) dorfs evaluate of there is shinier gear available to equip and will drop what they're using (in the middle of enemy territory) and either fulfill the order without that gear (fighting naked), or desert to pick up the shinier stuff (hey buddies, I'm butt naked, and so won't be of any use in the fight, but I'm sure you'll be fine without me while I go and gear up).