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[bsnott]

This was my first actual girlfriend and I'm only 17. I realize that many of you are going to say, "You're young, go find another" or "Girls are stupid man, get used to it" or something along those lines. But this girl was my entire life for over 8 months. In comparison to some relationships that isn't a long time, but for me, a guy who'd never had a long term relationship before, this hurts immensely. The worst part is that she's slowly making it worse on me.

At first it was a break. Then she said we'd be getting back together soon. Then she said it'd be a while but I'd just have to wait and we could still see each other and there wouldn't be any other guys. Today all of the promises she made about no other guys and us getting back together have been revoked, and I know that she's lied to me about talking to at least one guy. She won't give me a straight answer when I ask her if there are any other guys and if any of them are serious or not.

So the way I see it, I'm being broken up with pretty blatantly for another guy. I've never had a real girlfriend before her and we've never had problems this bad. I love her so much that I'm breaking down and crying in front of literally everyone I come into contact with. I still love her, even though I know at this point she's toying with my emotions. She's been my entire life for almost an entire year of my life. I never imagined we'd break up, and I'm literally still holding on, trying to keep us together to have a real future together. How do I get through this?

[Urist Targaryen]

Nobody is going to be able to tell you exactly what is right for you. But here's what I would have liked to hear in a similar situation.

Don't try to hold on so hard. It's not a matter of who you may or may not find later; it's about what's good for you right now. It's rough, but these things happen. The clear majority of relationships end, and so learning to deal with that ending is part of learning to have relationships. The best thing you can do now is cast a positive light on what is happening, no matter how hard that is. In your case, it's probably that she isn't terribly good for you if she's breaking those sorts of promises. Every month longer would have entrenched your feelings for her even more, and lead to more pain later. It's good that this happened this soon.

This isn't saying you should feel bad for being sad. You will feel sad, and you should accept that as a natural emotion. But pointing out how this is good for you right now, for this relationship to end because she isn't being faithful to you, will help ease the pain and get you back on your feet soon.

Aside from how to think about it, I'd also recommend some sort of physical activity. Exercise helps quite a bit, both by letting you focus on something at hand rather than something that's passed and by giving your endorphins a boost.

[LordBucket]

This is tough. There aren't any easy fixes. Emotions don't always make sense. Ignoring that doesn't help. Like you point out, a lot of people will say to just get over it, that she doesn't matter, she isn't important, that you'll "forget all about her," etc.

Those people are wrong.

In your entire life you will never ever have another first girlfriend. She was it. Yes, you can have other girlfriends. Maybe even better girlfriends. But she is and will always be your only first girlfriend.

My advice is that you accept that.

Yes, it hurts. And that's ok. Don't bottle it up. Allow yourself to feel what you feel. If nobody else understands, that's not your problem. Your problem is what's going on in your heart, and that's a problem you can't fight because it's part of you. It has to be accepted. You'll never get over this by denying what you feel and pretending it doesn't matter. It does matter. And that's ok.

Accept it.

Who she is and what she was to you will always be a part of you. You can continue to change and learn and grow and love again, but she will always have been an influence now along the path that leads to who you'll eventually become.

Accept it. And move on.

While she'll always be your first, that doesn't mean she'll be your last. You can have other firsts too. And those other firsts can grow to become more important than this first.

When you were a little kid, one day you took your first step, No other step you've taken in your entire life since, was that one. It was a super important step. Your first. Embrace that, accept it. But continue taking steps. It would be silly for a child to take his first step and then become so attached to it that he never walks again. It would be equally silly to be angry at that first step just because it's no longer with you.

So it is with love. Her place in your heart may never be replaced, but love is boundless.

You can love again.

[Trapezohedron]

As Lord Bucket said, she will always be your first, and you will subconsciously hold on to that, but you have to let go if it isn't working out for you.

Accept, and let go.

The end of something is never the end of everything. Your story ends when you die, but the world keeps going onwards. That's not the point though; the point is that as time moves on, so shall you and you will have to because holding on to the past with a tight grip won't be good for you.

However, you may hold on for as long as you think you need to, until you're ready. Let all of the feelings flow outward until there is nothing to release.

Your previous relationships will form parts of your fears - a gestalt and a psychological framework to which you will hold on to. This is perfectly normal. Your fears are perfectly valid.

You have to accept that.

Only then by accepting everything that has happened to you, after offloading the excess emotion, feelings, et cetera, will you be able to move on. And in my experience, this happens gradually, not all instantaneously.

[bsnott]

When you were a little kid, one day you took your first step, No other step you've taken in your entire life since, was that one. It was a super important step. Your first. Embrace that, accept it. But continue taking steps. It would be silly for a child to take his first step and then become so attached to it that he never walks again. It would be equally silly to be angry at that first step just because it's no longer with you.

This right here actually really helped a lot. Thanks, LordBucket, and thanks Bay12.